Sexist comments

You “liked” a post that criticizes a woman for having a vagina?

I’ve been here for a long time. We sure have come a long way from:

[rule] 6. No homophobic, or sexist comments

First off- resurrecting an 18 month past comment that in context HE REPEATED back to you “camel-toe Harris” was dealt with. Since this thread YOU resurrected

AND a few other in some months about a year ago HE HASN’T made any sexist comments and has been self-censoring on this forum. Using it for a purpose for HIMSELF (support) which is the point of the forum.

YOU on the other hand baiting him and hitting him with old shit during a family health situation is low blow and inappropriate.

The meme thread has been running in debate for a long time and no “comments from the peanut gallery” about that.

Over a year ago - 18 more months ago YOU allowed the
[rule] 6. No homophobic, or sexist comments

YOU also knew damn well that I defend “freedom of expressions” and “belief” and will argue or ban when IT IS appropriate.

I don’t ban or censor based on a age-old past political differences or other fucking differences that I find repugnant BUT try to educate, extend kindness, debate, argue OR when necessary ban.

This issue has come up with me several times during my time at the AR. On several occasions I’ve been chastised by other users and staff for trying to hold people accountable for their past statements/actions. Every time I ask if this is unacceptable behavior, and in every instance I’ve been told—by staff—that it is acceptable. Things change, so I’m asking that question again : is it no longer acceptable for a normal user to hold other users accountable for their past statements/behavior? If this is no longer acceptable behavior you need to tell me this, explicitly; or I will continue to do this.

ps: and as far as it being 18 months old—if they refuse to repudiate it—I don’t care if it is 18 years old.

IMO mr.macabre was an asshole and offensive when he first showed up here. But he received a lot of push back from many forum members and rehabilitated his comments. He learned, he grew, he became a better citizen of this forum.

One thing I constantly preach is a person’s need to let go of past animosity and grievances. Deal with them when they occur, then see what happens. At one time myself and a few others were at great odds with Tin Man. But we managed to get over it, and now enjoy a positive relationship.

We earned to let go, to allow wounds to heal, and rid ourselves of a toxic environment.

In the spirit of compromise, I promise as an Admin to enforce strict sanctions if mr.macabre utters any new sexually offensive comments.

If we can come to an agreement, I will inform him of our position. But it is conditional on you promising NOT to bring up old grievances.

IF Mr Mac in the future resumes his PAST behaviours (on his own, not repeating a phrase that initially pissed us off) YES , we would deal with it as we would anybody else.

I’m NOT for sending an email out of the blue to MrMac on an issue that isn’t his NOR did he start especially “warning” of future behaviour and HAS nothing to do with his current postings.

We’re not here to mold people - but have them adhere to a forum model (which we can all be guilty of breaking little rules). YOU and I interpret those rules and decide when it’s gone to far. We’re not perfect at it but we do our best balancing expression, personalities and “hate” compared to cultural influences or bad habits or just dumb conspiracy talk.

People can change on their own, quietly with dignity and without any big major “repudiations and begging for forgiveness”.

On further consideration I must retract my proposal. mr.mcabre may have done wrong in the past, but it is very unfair to punish him now. Not should he be involved in any Admin actions.

I find your statement problematic. If what I’ve done is considered unacceptable, I’m willing to face the consequences for my actions.

If referring to a woman as a camel toe is unacceptable, I expect Mr.Macbre to face consequences for his actions. I do not expect some conditional relationship between them. Sanction him for what he did, sanction me for what I did.

Well there we have it. It’s OK to refer to women as camel toes on AR now? Really?

it was two fucking days ago

The only thing I’m still confused about was my earlier question:

Some possible answers:

  1. That is unacceptable behavior.
  2. That is acceptable behavior.
  3. Something else more complicated.

Could I please get an explicit answer?

PS: Clearly I’m in the minority, and for what it is worth my opinion doesn’t matter; but could you at least be clear about the rules so I can follow them? Or are the rules something like “don’t be critical of people with sick relatives”, because that is seriously how it is coming across to me.

I saw that. Unfortunately offenses are sadly too frequent in here and I would never say something like that. Do I sanction anyone who says nasty things about Trump? Or Biden? Or Putin?

Trump, Biden, and Putin aren’t struggling against thousands of years of oppression because of the sexual organs they had at birth. But my female family members and friends struggle against the shit Mr.Macbre says everyday. I’m only asking that he show the respect to everyone’s niece that expects us to show for his.

About a decade ago, the skeptic/atheist community fractured; it happened because a hateful anti-trans misogynistic wing took over. The JREF washed it hands of it, and I landed here largely because the rules here forbid that kind of stuff. Imagine my horror when I noticed a staff member liking a 2 sentence post, where one sentence refers to a famous woman as a camel toe. It is an attack on someone because of their sexual reproductive organs. It is hate speech.

And you haven’t answered my question. And I know it is kind of a catch 22:

  1. If it is acceptable (for users to hold other users accountable for past statements) behavior; then I haven’t done anything wrong and we shouldn’t be having this conversation. Since we are having it I’m left to assume the other option.
  2. If it is unacceptable, then staff/users castigating me for what I did yesterday/earlier makes no fucking sense at all (since they are challenging me about past statements!).

I have no way to force you; but I’m not joking about wanting a serious answer to that question.

This topic exploded three days ago when you stated.

But you dragged up a very old comment many months old to support your assertion.

As far as your two serious questions, I already dealt with that.

I do not think any sanctions are appropriate. You have made yourself a social pariah, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. You wait many months before addressing your concern, then kick him when he is down.

I confronted him the day (18 months ago) he refereed to a the person in question as “heels up Harris”, twice in fact on that day and several times since. Both times instead of retracting he insulted me, and claimed he would continue. He’s been given several unofficial warnings, an official warning, and been suspended for this behavior already. Part of the terms of the suspension was I asked him to repudiate what he said (the day he said it) when he returned after his 3 day suspension. He refused (and is still refusing). I confronted him again a few days ago (by then it was probably the 4th or 5th time) and he responded with a new(?) term “camel toe Harris”. This was posted about ~3 days ago, and liked by a staff member. It is still there and he’s received no official warnings for it.

It is not appreciated that you take our private conversation into the public forum. I had no intention of taking any action, but it appears you are picking fights with a lot of people.

We all need to cool off.

Then YOU should have suspended him then.

He has NOT made any derogatory comments when left alone. He uses this forum for his own support system and he could be a member on Truth Social for all I care - he has been compliant with the rules HERE.

His observation was accurate and your “hitting him with the past” was inappropriate.
This is the third member you’ve done this to. It needs to stop.

I like Harris, but she indeed has a camel toe going on.

1 Like

My two cents…when I was the primary mod here, I nailed folks for inappropriate posts and gave them an additional chance or chances. If they continued the behavior, I banned them.
I haven’t been very active for a while so cannot speak to this person’s posting history. However, if he has made additional sexist comments after Nyar warned him the first time, then it is perfectly reasonable, IMO, to bring up his history of doing so in an attempt to chastise him for the body of those comments.
I used to give folks a lot of rope with warnings before I banned them. But when I did ban them, it was because of the entirety of their bad behaviors.
If this poster has continued, even infrequently, then additional action is appropriate.