Well that’s not all that is getting longer when I lie. I have a problem, you see.
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It’s Okay Tin. Now that I have found my love child, no force on earth, (*aaaahem) cyberearth is going to rip us apart. Our love is stronger than the bond holding a lizards tail to its body and though we may separate for a bit and lie in the sand squirming and dying, our love will return anew. I have so many memories to share with little Poo… um Bob. It’s so hard for me to think of him as an adult. My little PooBob. I know he is a capable adult now and wherever he goes he can curse like his … like a sailor… and he will be fine.
And for the record, I fully accept and invite Dave into our lives as a Half-daddy for little PooBob. Dave is obviously doing what he thinks is best. I support Dave 100% as any family member should. (* tear dripping from my eye and monkey snot running down the chin I would have if I was human.) I love you man!
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I have it on good authority that PooBob and I share 98% of our DNA, It would be 99% but apparently the researchers found some sort of defect in chromosome #2. It probably had something to do with his mother, alcohol, ping-pong balls and an animal act. Who knows about these things. I am just so happy. I found my little PooBob.
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But what about OldMan? Although the full DNA results are not back yet, you cannot deny the slight resemblance with the cross-eyes and that creepy half-grin little PooBob has. Also, if you think about it, that could also explain that anomaly in the DNA.
Hmmmm, I always explained the anomaly by referencing the drug, alcohol, and crack abuse. When I say crack abuse I am not referencing the drug. While PooBob was a crack baby, momy never abused that crack. Unlike the other crack, it was just a weekend thing. Is this TMI? Well, we are discussing a potential father, DNA and all that. So, your saying that old man has this same chromosome 2 deformity? WOW! That’s mind blowing. He really could be father number 3. So with three Atheist fathers; Atheism would be strong in this one. The force of Atheism would be extra powerful. He might become the king of atheists some day. PooBob! King of Atheists. (Or should we go with a 'Pope?")
Oh-holy-cow! 
I didn’t even consider that! The Unholy Atheist Trinity Child! No WAY! The legend might actually be TRUE! The Ape, The Gnome, and The Cranky Coot! And all this time I thought it was just some sort of ridiculous myth. PooBob could actually be The Supreme Atheist Prophet (The SAP, for short) that was sent to lead all other atheists out from under the oppression they’ve suffered for centuries. Oh, my! What a glorious time to be alive to witness such a monumental happening! Praise be to-… 
… Uh, wait… Who do we give praise to?
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Ahhhhh Pope Bob. Say it over again. PopeBob PopeBob PopeBob…reminds me of an old John Deere tractor my stepdad had.
Well I was told a long time ago that " A mighty hot dog is our lord". so, it’s either that or the big frog in the sky.
It is a relief to know we are both not in a state of compliant non-accordance with the recently past misunderstanding of the clearly discombobulated issue of quasi-faux non-apologies preceded by the undetermined perceptions of vaguely unintentionally directed offensive remarks that may or may not have been an insult of questionable character. Your non-acceptance of my non-apology is therefore non-welcomed in a most appreciated manner as is befitting said circumstances.
I wonder if they are related …
Of course I am filled with a lack of enthusiasm for your appreciation of my non-acceptance, however any lack of acceptance of your non-apology must necessarily, but not actually, be contingent upon, but unrelated to, any acknowledgement of the lack of necessity to actual response to any, but not all, deliberate attempts to circumvent the process of deciding the relevance and/or offensive nature of any purported remarks which may or may not be identified as unverifiably a candidate for the answer as to what indeed would qualify as a state of unintended discombobulation of non-apologies as a precursor to any perception(s) of intentional offensiveness as could be easily dismissed, if it were not for the facts at hand, which could, in any real sense of the word, be construed to be a clear and decisive commitment to an undecided framework of ambiguity and uncertainty leading to a conclusive acceptance of vague, but exact, non-committal certitude.
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I’m afraid I am willingly forced to somewhat fully agree with your vaguely precise assessment of the situation in a totally half-committed, yet definitively uncertain, manner of speaking. It warms my heart to know we can, by means of directly circumvented lack of communication, reach such arbitrary inconclusions using the most expediently roundabout methods of non-verbal orations.
The mighty PooBob, his non-virgin mother, and her multifarious conception.
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Your non-existent compliance with my complete, yet fragmented, non-committal to a definite vagueness is both satisfying and ingratiating while being obsequious and illusive in the whole, notwithstanding your clearly ambiguous emotional non-response. Please do not accept this as more, or less, than it is actually not.
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I have that same outfit. I love it. The snow shield fact cover and poop hole are fantastic clothing innovations.
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Jesus fuckin’Christ- did Tin just find his fucking doppelgänger??? 
Like, it’s bad enough having the creaky can … 
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What??? Have you gone crazy on us? I mean, I am much taller and CERTAINLY better looking than Skrit. Plus, I don’t have feathers. Furthermore, it should be obvious my writing skills are far superior.
While some comparisons may or may not be apt, there cannot be any ambiguity concerning the certainty of similarities or differences unverifiably present, notwithstanding evidentiary rhetoric as related to demonstrably unrelated non-arguments.
Of course the creaky can gets the oil in the case of a tie.
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