There are lots of theories.
What do you think?
Intelligent falling: Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
Teach the controversy!
Ha!
It’s better than falling uninelligently, I suppose.
Well isn’t that just so cute…
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A flat earther would typically answer “because of density” or, related, “because of buoyancy”.
A couple of similar questions:
- How much is a €/£/$ 50 note worth?
- Which color was Napoleon’s white horse?
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“Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning”
K’innel. if they can’t spell centre properly ffs… 
“the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.”
Well looky looky here, it’s false dichotomy fallacy.
““Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,” said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.”
Degree(s)??? More than one ay, it’s accredited by the Higher Learning Commission as well…
Though every time a baby falls to its death of course, this means a deity is doing it on purpose, what a cunt…
“Related Content
Woman Who Had Abortion Shares How She Regrets Not Stopping For M&M McFlurry Afterwards”
Really, they look very sickly oversweet to me, and wtf is it with god botherers and random fucking capital letters?
"Burdett added: “Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force.”
Well looky looky here, it’s an argumentum ad ignorantiam fallacy.
“Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world’s leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.”
Hmmm, they’ve got their own physics look, that doesn’t adhere to the laws of Physics, irony much…
" there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise."
They’re right by gum…
"The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue “so they can make an informed decision.”
Informed, fnarrr…
"“Let’s take a look at the evidence,” said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden.“In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, ‘And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.’ He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall.”
True dat, course it also says the earth existed with vegetation before the sun, so who the fuck cares what it says…
“Then, in Job 5:7, we read, ‘But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.’ If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling.”
There is no response to that kind of “informed” opinion…
"“Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein’s general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world,” said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. “They’ve been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don’t know how.”
Ah, it’s the old god of the gaps polemic, an argumentum ad ignorantiam fallacy, bless…
“Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.”
Some people insist the world is flat, and others that it was created roughly when the ancient Sumerians were inventing glue, and humans started to domesticate feral dogs, you pays your money and you takes your choice… 
.
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Intelligent Falling sounds like something from a Monty Python skit.
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OH-MY-GOD! I just had a disturbing thought! WHAT IF by remaining firmly planted on the Earth, we are not obeying the Law of Gravity? Instead, what if we are actually DEFYING the Law of Levitation? 
Okay, okay! Stop pushing. I can see myself out… (quickly headed toward nearest exit)…
My irony meter must still be on the blink…
Why do things fall down?.. Hmmmm… 
… Well, just spitballing here, but I would say if things fell UP, that wouldn’t be considered falling. It would be considered floating, maybe? Although, consider this for a moment… When astronauts are sending us pics from the ISS, we all say, “Look, they are floating in space.” In actuality, however, they are perpetually FALLING in space around our planet. Aw, hell! I just totally shot to shit my own hypothesis. DAMMIT! 
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Once upon a time, a fearless team of 7-Up salesmen embarked on an expedition into the depths of the mysterious Amazon. Carrying their loads of 7-Up, they were hoping to expand sales in new areas and beat out Coca-Cola in the merging Amazonian market. It was amidst the lush foliage of banana trees their paths intersected with a tribe of flesh-eating pygmies. Who lived three trees down and right at the big rock, next to the skeleton on a cross. The salesmen were attacked with paralyzing darts and never had a chance. The pygmies bound them and took them and all their 7-Up past the big rock, which has nothing more to do with this story and will not be mentioned again, and into their village. Once in the village, the pygmies got a huge black kettle and filled it with all the 7-Up. They put wood under the kettle and added bananas, a diced alligator tail, and delicious swamp grass. Then, when the mix began to boil… The pygmies hacked off the 7-Up salesmen’s things and let them fall to the ground, before tossing the salesmen into the boiling vat of Coke. Now when I asked them, “Hey! Why are you letting those things fall down?” You know what they told me? “Things go better with Coke.”
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Why do things fall?
Because gravity sucks.
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My irony meter must still be on the blink…
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Sheldon, shorten it up a bit! After two paragraphs impatient people have a tendency to move on.
That joke will blow them away!
I might say, “because you’re on a trip!”
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I’m sure the ones who don’t need to slowly move a finger over the text, while mouthing the words to themselves will be fine.
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