How the fuck would I know? My wife is the one who spends half of the day at church on Sunday, not me. She’s been doing this ever since she was “born again” after our son was born. Today, she stopped at the store to p/u a few things for dinner tonight on her way home, so she didn’t get home until almost 2:00 this afternoon.
Right now, she’s sitting in the back yard at our little table out there to get some sun and to do her “bible study”. Every Wednesday night, she goes to church straight from work and is there until 8:30 with this bullshit. We live about 20 miles from her job and her church, so on Wednesday nights she’s not home until about 9:00-9:15. It’s getting old, but I won’t/can’t say anything unless I want to start a fight, not worth it.
Anyone else out there live their life like this before you became a heathen and a heretic like I am? Or do/did you have a spouse who lives/lived their life for Christ like my wife and kids do?
Just wondering out loud I guess.
Start taking your children to a “church” of your own choosing.
Sorry to hear it. The peace I would make with the situation is probably not the peace you would make with the situation so all I can do is wish you peace of mind and smooth sailing.
Years ago my wife occasionally used to trot down to the church for Sunday service. She’s a big girl and has the right to do as she pleases.
No skin off my ass, doesn’t bother me.
And even if I despised religion, it makes her feel good more than it irritates me.
No. My ex wife knew I was an Atheist before we ever got together. She tried forcing me back into Christianity after our kids were born. That didn’t work out. My kids do believe in “god”. I don’t. I’ve been convinced for a very long time that the religion was crap and that no one in the Bible was real.
There were times I loved going to church, but more often than not it was something to be endured. Did it do me any good? At times it felt like it did. Did it make me a better person? No. Did it make me more judgemental? Yes.
It’s a little late for that, they’re both in their 30’s with families of their own.
Thank you. After 40+ years together, you’d think it wouldn’t bother me, and most of the time it doesn’t, but some days are worse than others I guess. I haven’t been able to go to my “church”, which would be a metal show/concert for almost 2 years because of you know what. They’re scheduling shows for later this year, I really need a “live music” fix, it helps me keep my sanity.
I had to endure Catholic Mass every Sunday until I was about 17-18. Even as a kid, I hated it and didn’t believe a word of it, even after 9 years of catholic school. It’s all a man-made lie.
I can relate somewhat to Macabre. I’ll apologize now if this is too long of a bio to put up with:
I admitted to myself about my ‘unbeliefs’ many years ago. Unfortunately I was in my 40s–so late in life. But I live with a christian wife. I had quit going to church back in the 90s when I still believed. Church had always bothered me. So I told her that so many aspects of church bother me: the melancholy music, the regimented chants and prayers, and just the closeness with the crowd. Too stressful to me. I’m glad she’s okay with it. My parents also know this.
But she continued to go to church. She joined a baptist church in the early 2000s, and even went through the full immersion baptism to join the church. Around 2010, because of internal feuds and a scandal with the minister, the church dissolved. I sympathized with my wife’s dilemma, though inside I snickered at how those ‘christians’ couldn’t get along to such an extreme.
My wife hasn’t gone to a church since, though I’m sure she still believes, since she refers to her bible, has listened to this audio tape series of bible verses, has mentioned god in conversation, etc. She hasn’t gone out to find another church though, and she stays home on the weekends. She’s shy, and so far, hasn’t found another church that suits her.
My situation is that I haven’t told anyone in my family about my non-belief–not even my wife. We married when I still believed, and I don’t know how she’d react. But since I’m still the same person, and my immediate family knows I don’t go to church, my life isn’t changed, except when theology is discussed. I’ve usually stayed silent.
I revealed my non-beliefs to four people, one whom I had a debate with, two who are acquaintances (and those three won’t affect my life), and a close friend, who has passed away. The loss of someone I could confide in about anything, including my true beliefs, has left a void to say the least.
So I feel alone when the concept of theology comes up. And some days I’ve had the urge to yell out at the surrounding world of myth believers. I don’t hold it against my wife. She’s a victim of the coercion like I was. I just remind myself that nothing has changed around me except to put up with an occasional reference people make to their imaginary friend.
But I’m glad to discover these chat boards hosted for free and critical thinkers. I watch a few videos on the subjects too. --usually when the wife’s not around though–
Sorry I don’t have any tips or suggestions, though maybe you weren’t expecting any. But I empathize with anyone who feels alone sometimes.
Carry on …
Yeah, me too.
That happened exactly four times. As for the other >520 times, not so much.
Wait, there was one other time. I was about 5 and my sis was about 3. We were at mass with dad. We were having a silent farting contest. Sis accidently shat herself. Dad was livid. Ah, memories.
Most of us atheist share the same experience. Myself included. I don’t go around outside with a big sign “there is no god”, but almost all of my effort is online, in places like this.
I watch videos and Dillahunty rage and hang up, I watch interesting interactions in here, and most importantly, I learn. I learn a shitload in here, from wise and more knowledgeable minds, and it further reinforces my position as an atheist.
I sat down and talked to my kids about Atheism. My daughter has her feet firmly planted in the ground that she believes in “God” & “Jesus”. My son believes, but he doesn’t talk about it. That train has left the station I’m afraid.
Yup.
Sunday - Kingdom Hall 2.5 hrs morning
Tues - Group bible study 1 hour evening
Thursday- Theocractic School 2 hour evening
Saturday - 2 hour min door-to-door
Personal study time to prepare for the 3 meetings (3 hours)
Add pioneering …extra 20 hours week door-to-door
And a job (part time 25 week).
I breathed, slept and thought only JW
Try not to, it’s an unworthy use of your time. Besides, although you may be alone in a specific circumstance, overall, you are certainly not alone. I mean, what are we we here, chopped liver?
Theology is an intellectually dishonest discipline. It is presuppositional. IE
Behind every claim and argument is an understanding that the existence of god is a given. It isn’t. Imo, until that question has been answered in the affirmative, at best , theology is a waste of a good mind.
I read Thomas Aquinas at 16. He had a brilliant mind, albeit with a tendency to be dogmatic. Eg For faith, it was his position that a person " believes everything or nothing"
Aquinas (1225-1274) wrote, but did not invent , Five Ways/ proofs for the existence of god. Each one has been debunked centuries ago and apologists haven’t come up with any new ones as far as I’m aware.
Apologists still use the same arguments used by Aquinas. In recent years some have been so ignorant or so mendacious as to try to pass off “irreducible complexity” as a new argument. It ain’t.
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Thanks, Boomer, for the consolation, both you and David Killens. And thanks for the reference material. I’ve heard of Aquinas, but hadn’t read any of his work.
I never thought of the folks at AR as chopped liver, ha. That’s why I keep checking out the posts here. It can be frustrating when I’m physically surrounded by known theists. I’ve only met two people in person who’ve actually said they don’t believe. Unfortunately, they were both acquaintances who’ve moved away years ago.
@David_Killens – Yes, I’ve watched a lot of those ACA vids. I found out about them back in October, while I’d been looking at critical thinking videos. One of Matt Dillahunty’s ‘Atheist Debates’ videos showed up in the suggested viewings. His vids led me to the ACA. Those folks are impressive with their knowledge.
The worst I ever had was a girlfriend who toted off the kids every Sunday to visit the magic people. I always asked how the visits went and if they saw any miracles or talked to any dead ancestors. I asked if Jesus made an appearance or God and told them I might attend if either of them ever decided to show up in person.
Didn’t think you did. I was pulling your leg.
DAMN, when did you have time to just live your life, or was that against the rules?
I usually watch the ACA every day to hear all the different “proofs” that the clown callers use to try to convince all of us heathens that their bullshit is real.