I have questions. Some of you might have answers.
Yes, they were believers.
Well I don’t know the details, but people have been doing that throughout recorded history. Supposedly he was very good a memorizing and reciting material (the bible of course). It was widely believed (in his community) that he had memorized the entire book of Psalms at a young age (I have no idea if it is true). I don’t know if that is what “impressed the ladies”.
It’s just not that hard… It’s all about the women you choose.
And the men “allow” it. It appears they tap into primal primate behaviours- dominate male gets all women (ohhh ohhh ohhhh ohhh thumping chest) …the other males 
Reminds me of some of the great psychological studies.
People that can’t be manipulated are simply kicked out of the study. (You don’t belong, get the fuck out. The herd instinct is strong and people want to be a part of the study. They forgo their own instincts to stay and be a member.) And then this happens…
Find women who devoutly believe in an invisible god and that believing things on faith is what this god wants you to do, then how far a step is it to take it on faith that a smooth talking man has been sent by this god and this god is telling him to have sex with you?
Well. How do I get lucky like this guy? He’s got two girls he’s screwing and they’re not too bad looking.
Just so.
The claim that opposites attract in relationships is a myth. The bloke seems to have had the knack of attracting women just as flaky as he. What attracted the men? Don’t know. Perhaps attraction to power?
I worked as a bartender to put myself through university. We had a live band 7 nights a week and a dance floor. It was a popular chain restaurant / dinner house and we were the second busiest location in the chain. The place was a meat market.
You would not believe the slime balls that went home with the girls night after night after night. All it takes is a good rap. In fact, it was the stupid, uneducated, drooling idiots, that got most of the action. Morons that could not think their way out of a paper sack who had their brains in their dicks. These are the guys getting laid regularly. I kid you not.
They don’t give a shit about the women they approach. They have no personal investment in getting turned down. A woman who turns them down is just a stuck up bitch and this guy is on to the next target. This guy will go home with a different girl every night.
Remember those IQ tests? Remember that score of 100? Remember 100 is the Mean? Mode, and Median? Half the population has an IQ below 100. They just aren’t that smart. So while you are thinking, “I would like to meet someone nice.” The hamster brain is just thinking, “fuck.”
It is not hard to manipulate people if that is what you want to do. Advertisers do it. Sales people do it. The Clergy does it. Elementary school teachers do it.
Very different when I was a teen going to 60/40 dances.
I was simply astonished at the number of lesbians in my area. Well, it was obvious, why else would a girl refuse to dance with me?
I think I see the problem (belatedly) At 17-25, my dick was certainly in charge a lot of the time. But I had no schtick. Rarely got to take a girl home. Around 11, me and a mate would repair to the local greasy spoon for a steak sammie. No ill effects. If I eat that crap today I get murderous heart burn.
It’s not a myth, just very rare occurrences. My wife and I have been together for over 40 years, she’s a believer and I’m an atheist. It was hard, but we figured out how to make it work.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense. After all the claim is only a rule of thumb as far as I can tell. There will obviously be exceptions…
In the early days, I thought the woman I married and I were opposites. It’s true enough that we were in some ways, especially superficial personality traits EG : I’m a loud mouth, she was quiet. I’m actually very shy, with no small talk and find it hard to make friends. She was relatively easy going and knew lots of people. She was mean spirited, I am not.
However, as time went by we discovered we a were very much alike in more important ways, especially in terms of values an ideals. Essentially the same backgrounds too; both from Catholic working class families. That meant that when she returned to the Church, that didn’t effect the marriage .(that was already pretty well fucked by then)
Of course it could simply be that you and your wife have stayed together because you love each other and have worked at making a go of your marriage. In my experience large numbers of couples don’t know how. My wife and I didn’t.
I’m very sorry to hear that. You’re right in that a lot of couples either don’t know how to, or don’t think it’s worth the effort to work through the issues. My wife and I went through some pretty rough patches in our relationship. At one point I almost had to move out of the house, it was that bad.
But we agreed that our marriage and our family were worth fighting for. It took a few years, but we have figured out how to make it work. Both kids are in successful marriages and have their own families now. It’s amazing how fast the years go by.
Now it’s just the 2 of us, I’m retired and my wife still has a few years left to work before she can do the same. We still disagree on stuff, especially if the subject of religion comes up, but we’re both better off together than we would be apart, that we both agree on.
I learned the first time with my ex wife. She believed in the Christian God. But I didn’t and that caused more arguments than I wanted. And for someone who was claiming to be Christian, she sure didn’t act like one. Presently, I believe I have learned my lesson. I’m with someone who doesn’t believe in the Christian God and we agree on a fair amount of things. What I don’t want to do is get married again.
Yeah, Christians are hypocrites, just like the rest of the human race.
You knew she was a devout christian but married her anyway? Could it possibly be the case that you made a very common error of judgement? IE that she would simply be different once you were married?
Most of my friends got married years before I did. I watched with sadness as several of those marriages died. From what I could gather, there were unshared implicit assumptions.
SO, I sat down with my then fiance and worked out a contract. EG; no violence, absolute fidelity,no children , all money held in common.-------and a fat lot of fucking good that did. The marriage lasted 12 years before she left one day when I was at work.
As for the why of it. Depends on my mood when I’m asked. (if I deign to reply)
Right now, I don’t truly know. I have come to believe that when a marriage ends, any blame must usually be shared, even if unevenly. In my case, I wasn’t much of a husband and she was a cunt.
Sadly I suspect this is one mistake we have to make ourselves. I doubt any amount of evidence beforehand would help.
Though I’m pretty sure it will just be the once for me, as I can’t ever see myself marrying again.
Well. She knew I was an Atheist. At the time she said it bothered her a little but it wasn’t “a big deal.” She basically begged me to propose to her. So I did a half ass attempt in my living room with an old wedding ring that my mother had given me from her divorce with my father. It was the only thing of his that I had left from him. Seeing as I haven’t seen my father in over 20 some years.
To help you better understand. I was 22. I was a very horny young man. She made me feel very important. Not something I ever got from any of my other girlfriends. I was an impulsive and possessive young man. I wanted to keep this woman. I liked owning things back then. Even the women I was sleeping with. I thought marriage would cement my relationship with her. I was very very mistaken.
Marriage, money, houses… the list of decision making.
Damn. Based on the information I had at the time, I always made the decision that was best (risk weighed).
Given time, I can list a failure in each of those categories. Oh, and I can list a win.
Still doing it despite AND because of the past outcomes, mostly because I can’t forsee all the variables. To not make any decisions is a decision in of itself.
Me neither. These days I’m no longer interested in a relationship. Last time that was even a possibility was in 2010.
The end of my marriage meant deep anguish, humiliation and a sense of personal failure for me. Have never had the interest in risking that again***. The most I was willing to consider was having a special friend, with each living in our own homes. No longer interested even in that.****
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*** in Oz, around 40% of marriages end in divorce. I don’t know how many remain married and miserable, but I suspect a lot. The odds for second marriages are worse.
**** Out to a birthday lunch last Wednesday, younger sis turned 70. My cousin was there. He tried to line me up with this nice Filipina, in her mid 60’s. Have never been attracted to the idea of being involved with a woman from another culture. For pragmatic reasons.
My ex wife and I had a lot of things in common. By no means least was common backgrounds; working class catholic, parochial schools, only having finished high school. Both went to university part time while we were married. I couldn’t get thatto work. Hate to think how I’d go with a woman from a very different culture.
Yes, it’s almost 2 years to the day, since I had a wife and left for work. I haven’t seen her since. The pain and shock diminishes, but other emotions remain.
I know what you mean. My ex was not very bright, but she found forming new relationships easy, even fun. It’s not that I’m anti social, I just am a lot more introvert than her. The idea of dating again at almost 56 is not very appealing.
I know what you mean. I miss the grandchildren of course, and that still makes me angry. That for 2 years she’s not once tried to help me see them, knowing I’m not a blood relative, and how awkward it’s been for me.
I think maybe she’d prefer it if I just disappeared out of her life completely, but she was very clear about me being a part if their lives when they were born, and tbh it was some of the best times I’ve had looking after them.
They’re growing up now anyway, so will soon have lives of their own, that’s always the way.
The thing I really regret is taking on the entirety of our financial outgoings, and not protecting myself. It was insane to trust someone would do the decent thing if the worst happened.
I have a deep hatred for the divorce laws in this country now. Solicitors are just doing their job as the law dictates.