That was not my fault. You asked me how to fix the ceiling fan and I told you just to use your head. It’s not my fault you had a certain attraction to the damn thing and used the wrong head. I take no responsibility at all.
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Good to hear. I’m settling into the winter months. Been working on my spiritual Self while away. I’ve more or less perfected my system of belief and will hopefully be starting a cult soon. The objective will mainly be to speed up chimpanzee evolution by mating with as many bonobos as possible so that the offspring are more advanced. Other than that, happy to be back at AR! Happy to hear you’re doing well.
Well. I’m definitely back for a while at least. Together we can spread the appreciation for utter half crazed absurdity to the believers and non believers alike. May the spirit of Christmas drizzle upon thee old mate!
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Oh, sure. I suppose it was just pure “coincidence” that the fan suddenly went to high speed just as I was making my move. 
And I had finally gotten the timing down after watching the damn thing for over ten minutes.
Oh, COOL! Hey, if you ever need an Enforcer, please feel free to give me a call. Keeping the faithful terrified and in line is very important in preventing the flock from going astray.
I LIKE how you think! 
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That wasn’t high speed. You’re just bragging and trying to make yourself look good. I barely moved the knob at all. You just can’t handle your electronic devices.
OOO a cult!! Can we we wear soft lambskin aprons and get useless medals for not much? Please…oh, and make it a rule we must shave one leg…
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How about shaving only HALF of one leg? Sounds like a fair compromise.
As long as it is the left leg. I had kinky sex last night and if you make it the right leg, I am going to have to wait 6 months to join.
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Ok, half of one leg and one eyebrow either shaved or coloured according to rank.
Have you been ‘borrowing’’ my three headed razor again? I told you last time it had vestiges of my herpes still inside…
Who needs a razor when sheep can nibble so close to the skin? It’s not my fault you have misplaced your herpes-infested utensils once again. Perhaps Skriten has borrowed them.
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Agreed. But we’ll need to decide on colours. All devotees will have to wear pink. Then officials will wear blue. Enforcers (Tin Man) will wear red. And I will wear white. And any priests I elect will wear purple. And sacrificial offerings will wear black.
And we’ll need hats. Lots of hats. And we’re gunna need some chants and some sort of cool hand shake. And we’ll address every one as “comrad” or something catchy like “my dude.”
It will kind of be like Star Trek but more culty and less space ships. However space ships will figure prominently. And we’ll need to stay hydrated. Can anyone suggest a type of beverage?
EverClear… (REAL EverClear, by the way. Not that sissy diet stuff.)
EverClkear wtf ing f is Everclear? Nestle polluted water?
Beer, wine, Single malt irish or scotch ( not that bastard bourbon stuff) and for the others water (Evian of course) or of course IRN BRU!!!
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Holy hell! Under what rock have you been living? E-V-E-R-C-L-E-A-R… 190 Proof grain alcohol. You can strip paint and/or run a small engine with that stuff. It makes mountain-brewed moonshine look like a delightful glass of iced tea. It’s a staple item for any college campus party… or bachelor party… or, uh, Halloween party… or maybe a birthday party… or… well, you get the idea. You mean y’all don’t have EverClear Down Under? Wow… So sad… 
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Proof is in the domain of mathematics and logic. And you can only prove something 100%. Any less and it’s not a proof, but just merely a conjecture. If your “proof” is more than 100%, you are either confused, drunk or high. Or any combination. Unless you’re counting the number of proofs, in which case it would be the plural “190 proofs”.
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190 Proof is 95% pure alcohol. You gotta have something to stabelize. That’s about as good as it gets. The ‘proof’ on a label is double the %. In order to make 200 proof (100%) alcohol, poisonous compounds, like Benzene, have to be added to help remove all the remaining water. But once they are added then the alcohol produced is no longer safe to drink . So you gotz to haz a little water with yer booze.
Drink enough EverClear and you will EASILY be able to PROVE gravity works by 200%, 300%, 400%, 500% or more. (Please don’t ask me how I know.)
(Edit to tend to carpet burns.)
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