I thought this might be fun when I ran into an old article about how pissed off religions are that the Mormons are baptizing the dead. It’s not so much that they Baptize dead people as it is that it pisses off other religions. Ha ha ha ha ha …
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Oh geez.
Its now a short putt to baptizing a fetus “into” a particular religion, IMHO… perhaps because its already suspended in a fluid.
Wait, scratch that. I mean… haha! To all the theists here - just kidding! Doing that would be totally adding nonsense to this ritual!
Haha! So much jest!
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Do I have to choose? Can I not shit myself laughing over both? I…I cannot choose…
said Father Joseph, a spokesman for the patriarchal parish of the Russian Orthodox Church in the United States, who does not use his last name. “It turns religion into magic.”
Stop it! I cannot take any more…my side is hurting!!
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INCLUDING “spiritual” callings??? STUPID THINGS:
Shine contends that “a doctor can’t see living on light because he looks through different lenses” and has said she is not undergoing medical tests as during the experiment. She said she had experienced a “calling” which inspired her to stop eating.
Medical doctor: Plants have what are called choroplasts that contain chlorophyll and they have the ability to capture energy from sunlight," Hoffman said. "Humans don’t have cholorphyll or chloroplasts. No humans do. It is impossible for a human to have that.
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You guys need to stop. This shit is too fuckin funny…
“It came as an idea that became so powerful, I knew I had to do it,” she said. “And this has happened a few times in my life; I suddenly got this strong desire or need to do something that nobody in my world could imagine but it came so strongly to me, it was just like: ‘This is what I need to do.’ It’s intuition.”
No it is DELUSION !!
You know, I had a friend, when I was a kid, who claimed that he had farted so hard that he lifted himself off of the ground. Mind you, he only claimed a little way off of the ground.
Well, needless to say the rest of us ridiculed him for years over this claim, and in fact we used this as an example of pathological lying on many occasions. Reading the above statement is making me start to wonder…MAYBE it’s possible…of course it would result in complete, massive, terminal anal prolapse, but, what if I could actually accomplish some measurable lift? Think of the ramifications! The science of propulsion would be turned on it’s…head!
Before you start yucking it up, just consider that you might just be looking at this through the wrong lens!
(Edit for anti-pontificational reductionalities)
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… Geeez… Seriously?.. A lone fart? Lifting a grown human? Have you done gone and lost your damn mind? Damn, Skrit, I thought you were more intelligent than that. It is absolutely ridiculous to think a fart alone could lift a person. Combine it with a SNEEZE, however, and you just might have a chance. Of course, you would have to carefully work out the thrust vectoring to micrometer precision. Oh, and synchronizing the “ignition” timing would be a real bitch. Otherwise, there just might be a chance for success.
Uhhhh… (blink)… 
… (blink-blink, blink)… … Uhhhhh…
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Uh, please do not straw man me. I never said ONE fart. Clearly a rapid succession of ever increasing intensity expulsions would more likely produce the desired result(s). Combined with a perfectly timed, externally stimulated, maximum intensity sneeze… well who knows?
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Oh! Okay! I see where you’re going with that. Yes… 
Yes, yes, yes… A-HA!!! 
A flutter-valve mechanism! We NEED a flutter-valve mechanism!!!
Edit to add: With a programmable auto-adust dilation port!
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Human inspired stupidity never lacks (and will have a group of followers)…
Aetherius is a New Age religion whose belief systems are built around the idea that a series of “Cosmic Masters” (mostly from Venus and Saturn) control the fate of humanity. Additionally, they focus heavily on prayer and “spiritually charging” the Earth to make way for the "Next Master, a messianic figure who will descend to earth in a flying saucer 
True Way Cult, Chen Tao was formed by a former professor who was clearly insane. His beliefs included that the universe is 4.5 trillion years old, our solar system was created by a nuclear war, we each have three souls, and that humanity has been rescued on five different occasions by God descending in a flying saucer.
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Yes yes yes…a perfume bottle atomizer flutter-valve mechanism (With a programmable auto-adust dilation port!) I think you may be on something!
(Edit for Edith)
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And a good sense of timing with a Bic Lighter 4 pack, while on the Vomit Comet.
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I’ve got a good feeling about this…
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Absolutely! How could I have possibly missed that? The atomizer is VITAL if we are to obtain a maximum combustibility ratio and fart effeciency factor. Good catch, Skrit!
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Well I have to admit that I had overlooked the flutter valve application…if one considers the efficiency rating of the perfume bottle atomizer, multiplied by the duty cycle of the flutter valve, divided by the fart efficiency factor and then factor in the spontaneous combustion ratio by direct calculation of initial combustive viability, a reasonably accurate assessment could be forthcoming, indicating probability, subject of course to variations in dietary influences on overall combustibility. At this point, thrust values would be a simple matter of comparison analytics and NASA Saturn Three
test data from the 1960’s.
Exactly! I once did the very same thing from the other end and banana vomit. Hit my ass on the canopy on the way up. Without that canopy, hell, I would be orbiting the moon. Tin’s eggnog has a synergistic effect when combined with the juice of an overripe banana.
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I have been forewarned! He sometimes conceals relevant information for his own amusement…
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Here’s some special stupid
“The weapons, which Reuters reported were unloaded, were meant to represent the biblical “rod of iron.”
I smiled all the way through the article! Funny shit.
Get kicked out (by your mommy) of the top position in a cult that’s already out in left field, call mom the whore of Babylon and angrily start an offshoot cult that’s even further in left field.
Then start wearing a crown of cartridges, make your toolie-making brother your second in command, move into a compound down in Waco, etc.
I’m in agreement with including the AR religion in this thread.
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