As I have said many times, due to the lack of basic academic skills of our most recent generations, I weep for humanity. Be aware, the following story is somewhat funny and considerably disturbing all at the same time. And, in the interest of full disclosure, there is a part of me that still feels a bit “guilty” due to my own sense of personal integrity. (But not TOO guilty, as you will soon understand why…) Be that as it may, I got one helluva deal today…
Wife and I are doing a bit of “remodeling” to one of our upstairs rooms and needed a bit of carpet to complete the task. As such, this afternoon we went to one of the well-known large hardware stores in our area to procure said carpet. Upon finding the style we wanted, we summoned a nearby store employee to cut the amount we needed. (I should note, the carpet of interest was stored rolled up on a bar within a vertical “carousel” system, and it was twelve feet in length. Also, the info tag on the carpet showed its cost to be 61 cents per square foot / $5.49 per square yard.) I told the store employee I needed 7 feet cut from the roll, thereby making the piece I needed 7’x12’. 84 square feet, or slightly over 9 square yards. So far, so good, right? (By the way, the guy was probably in his mid-to-late twenties.) So, he called over another employee to help him put the cutting machine in place and cut the piece. Meanwhile, I took off to go pick up a couple of other items while my wife waited there for them to cut our carpet.
Upon returning to my wife, we gathered our selections and headed to the checkout counter. On the way, she showed me the paper the guy had given to her to give to the cashier. On it he had written the SKU number for the carpet along with the amount of carpet we were to be charged. Oddly enough, I noticed the amount of carpet he had written was “0.7 sq.ft.”. Obviously, I thought to myself, “That doesn’t sound right.” But I somewhat dismissed it, figuring they had their own “coding” system for such things. Anyway, at the register, I was watching the cashier enter the carpet info, and saw the total for the carpet was only five dollars and some change. “Gee, that is really strange,” I thought. And when she told us the TOTAL of our purchase (roughly $48 and some change), it was even LESS than what I had already calculated the carpet ALONE to be. (The cost of the carpet by itself should have been between fifty to sixty bucks.) At the same time, my wife had a confused look, because she also knew the total purchase should have been closer to a hundred dollars. So, me being me, I told the cashier, “Uh, I hate to do this, but I saw you enter the amount of the carpet as 0.7 square feet, but it should have been 84 square feet.” She looked at me kind of strange, then turned back to the register in an attempt to enter what I told her. At that point, I glanced over at my wife, and she gave me a “side eye” look that could have cut through steel. And I KNEW she was thinking, “What the FUCK are you doing, dumb-ass?!?” Luckily, the cashier “saved” me by saying, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can only enter square yards into the register. And it also looks like the wrong SKU number for what you are telling me.” I replied, “Oh, okay. Well, just let me go back and find the guy who wrote this real quick.” Now my wife is REALLY giving me the “death stare.”
So, I get back over in the carpet area and locate the carpet cutting guy. I told him what happened at the register, and I showed him he had written “0.7 square feet” on the info paper he had given my wife. Also, I told him the cashier said it was the wrong SKU number, and I showed him the info tag my wife and I had seen on the carpet when we selected it. He laughed a bit and told me, “Oh, sorry sir, I accidentally wrote down the SKU from another info tag. And I can’t believe I wrote square feet instead of square yards. I’m sorry. Let me change that for you real quick.” So he writes the info on another card and hands it to me. I look at it and notice he STILL has 0.7 as the quantity, but as square yards, rather than square feet. Ain’t gonna lie, my brain sorta “locked up” for a few seconds. He even laughingly called over to the employee who had helped him, “I wrote square feet instead of square yards. Can you believe that?”
You cannot imagine how torn I was at that moment. I KNEW exactly what mistake he had made, and I wanted so badly to point out the OBVIOUS discrepancy. At the same time, though, I was thinking, “This has to be a joke.” Then, after a brief moment of hesitation, I thought, “Well, I tried. I honestly tried to do the right thing, and they STILL did not fix it.” With that, I shrugged my shoulders and went back to the register to give the cashier the new info. As expected, my wife was staring bullets through me as I returned. The cashier rung up the new data, and it turned out the total price of the carpet went DOWN to about $3.80-ish. In other words, we got slightly over NINE square yards of carpet for LESS than a SINGLE square yard of carpet. My wife and I were laughing about it all the way home, but I still could not help but feel somewhat disturbed by the whole thing. And here is the overwhelming irony of it. I can only imagine the poor little casher thinking to herself after we left, “Geez, what an asshole. He went through all that trouble just to save only a couple of bucks on some carpet.” And I’m left wondering how long has that guy been working in that department and literally GIVING AWAY all that carpet? (Did I mention I weep for humanity?)