How to Choose Your Friends (Part 2)

St. Thomas Aquinas defined friendship as wanting the same things and rejecting the same things. You are only friends with people who are going to the same place, who have the same values ​​as you; the others, even though they are your relatives, even if it is your wife, your father, your mother or your child, are not your friends, but just acquaintances. With these people, your attitude is one of charity. What charity can you have with them? Teach them. If you are still afraid of them, and are not prepared to teach them, run away. Stay in solitude, get ready, and when you’re strong, go back there, actively, with patience, but firmly. Never accept coexistence in these terms; never accept mediocrizing coexistence, which will demean you, because this is what the Bible calls the ‘company of mockers’, and you cannot have anything to do with these people. See that moving away from people does not mean that you hate them and have no love for them.

One thing that is still quite obvious is that friendship is also one of the pillars on which our personality is built. If you do not find the right friends, who share the same values as you, you will end up associating with other groups, who will offer you support and friendship in exchange for your corruption, in exchange for giving up on who you are, in exchange that you abandon your own values and make useless and abject sacrifices on the altar of false friendship.

One of the basic secrets of life is that you are able to approach people who have the same goals and values as you

A friendship that is born is like a diamond that springs from the ground. One that ends is just something we don’t think about anymore.

The most perfect form of friendship is only possible for those who seek the Truth. Worldly people, however good they may be, will never know the spiritual dimension of a true friend. Small talk and so many other stupidities are the only goal of their social life.

“Any true friend wants for his friend: 1) to exist and live; 2) all goods; 3) do him good; 4) enjoy his coexistence; and 5) finally to share his joys and sorrows with him, living with him one heart.” St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologiae, II-II, q. 25, a. 7.

L. Szondi taught that the choice of friends is one of the determining factors of destiny. You should not prostitute yourself out of mere human respect. Seek the friendship of the best and, without fighting, avoid the worst.

Having real friends at a distance is better than having gold-diggers and swindlers around

Idem velle, idem nolle: To be a friend is to love the same things and reject the same things. Don’t be friends with those who hate what you love.

Now, this is just spamming.

And just preaching.

And more inane rhetorical BS.

Odd choice of wording - destiny?

Prostitution - world’s oldest profession, behind farming (?) hmmm :thinking: come to think of it - most likely just the world’s oldest profession. I have to fact check when “farming” began.

Who’s respect is a person seeking? I prefer self-respect.

“Best” is subjective.

“Without fighting” …hahaha

“Worse” is subjective.

Another sad essay revealing what people mean to Campello.

How to make friends with implacable personal judgements and condemnation, intolerant estimations, enforced desertion, pretentious superiority and a pompous urge to correct others to fit a preconceived unsustainable ideal of perfect friendship. What could possibly go wrong?

Campello, a real friend looks beyond the faults of others to reveal and celebrate and support their strengths. The best and longest lasting friends I have don’t agree with me on many issues and we can have the most raucous arguments without damage to our relationship, because we share the love of honest and healthy tolerance of opposing ideas. Like minded people attract each other, there is no need to impose dictates. Parading your contempt and narrow minded piety is not the path to meaningful friendship; its the proven way to earn justified antagonism. You simply demand others to comply with your unnatural dictates for the sake of some self constructed perfect ideal. I suspect in the effort of seeking this unrealistic partnership you have unwittingly destroyed many worthy and rewarding experiences or at best just bullied people into compliance.
Life is messy and quests for perfection are vain enterprises. Even if you were to attract a group of like minded people, you would inevitably find fault with each other and fall apart. Perfection is a form of stagnation and can never be maintained naturally for long. You trust too much to your idealisations associated with your perfect god and ignore the variability and surprising capacity for people to adapt and grow.

Szondi’s assessments of people’s psychological states from their selections of preferred and disliked photographs (photographs!??!! ffs) of supposed homosexuals, sex fiends, dullards and various subjective selections of nominated psychological groupings (edited) determined by Szondi himself is about as convincing as Franz Joseph Gall’s phrenology (determining personality from the shape of skulls). After 85 years of research, the most recent assessments of Szondi’s work politely suggest more testing would be necessary to provide even strained suggestions of working evidence.



My beloved late friend was politically slightly to the right of Ghengis Khan, but Socially a bit of a lefty.

From time to time we would go out together, usually to the flics because he got free tickets. After the film we would repair to a nearby cafe for a coffee and an argument.

To me ,a friend is more like a sibling. To me ‘friend’ is a verb .I’ve always found that if I make the effort to be a good friend, I have a better chance of getting a good friend.

Because of the Aspergers, I have the social skills of a houseplant. This means I’ve always found it difficult to make and keep friends. It’s hard work being my friend in real life. However, over the last 50 odd years, I’ve always had one good friend, sometimes two, for several years. That has always been a big deal to me.

If I have a friend who is like a sibling and who accepts me as I am, I receive one of the two most important things in life. That of feeling loved. The other is of course to love.

I have not needed the crutch of personal superstition for over 40 years. I have no time at all for smug, patronising ignoramuses such as our disingenuous little friend.****

***In my opinion, if he was sincere he would take the trouble to express his own position in his own words.

Thought for today: " A friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a body" (Alexei Sayle)

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Rubbish, that’s arrogance bordering on bigotry, to think you can only have friends who mirror your own views all the time. I can think of nothing more stultifying than to surround myself only with people who never offer a contrary viewpoint. No wonder you’re incapable of honest debate, or any critical thinking.

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I want to add to that Sheldon. I embrace people of all walks, and find that my life is enriched.

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Then Aquinas must have been a tedious bigoted bore, which is ironically precisely the impression your posts have given.

Utter garbage, I have at least one close personal friend who is a theist and one immediate relative. The only way I’d cut them out of my life is if they were a tedious bigoted preaching bore about those beliefs, as your posts indicate you are being.

So you’re saying I should cut my 82 year old mother out of my life, because she finds comfort in the delusion the christian deity is real? You can fuck right off matey.

I don’t give a toss what the bible says, why would I?

Well it’s a fucking odd way to behave towards someone you love, but then most of what you post is very fucking odd. Only bigots who are incapable of even listening to contrary views would even suggest this asinine view you’ve expressed. It’s as good an example of theistic extremism and intolerance as one could ever wish to see.

Speak for yourself, unlike you I’m capable of accepting that others may hold views and beliefs that differ drastically from mine, but I still have a spine and a mind of my own.

Meaningless gibberish, though it’s clear to see you desperately need some friends who aren’t cloned sycophants to your own beliefs.

From your endless sermons, and bizarre claims on here, it is abundantly clear that you have no interest in the truth, and only want to cling blindly to faith in archaic superstition.

You can’t demonstrate a shred of evidence for anything spiritual, despite being asked repeatedly. So this is just more vapid rhetoric.

Unless they don’t share your beliefs in, and interpretation of, an archaic superstition. Then you cut them out of your life, what a delightful companion you’re painting yourself here.

Is that why you insist on coming herec to repeatedly give sententious lectures to people who don’t remotely share your superstitious beliefs?

Well I reject bigoted religious extremists, as do all my friends, even the theists.


The god of the bible doesn’t give a rats ass about humanity, so is it any wonder that extremely religious bible-believing theists don’t also?

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All else aside, Thomas Aquinas is the very last person to be accepting advice from on subject of how to choose your friends and on the nature of friendship.

He lived his whole life as a virgin within the rarefied, dog eat dog, male dominated environment of clerical scholasticism within the 13-14th century Catholic Church, where ideas and theories concerning purely theoretical disputes were fiercely contested and punished amongst the various monastic orders and ambitious academics. He even quarrelled with his whole family over his decision to join the Dominicans before launching his career as a disputatious academic theologian.

Of course it was to be expected that Aquinas wanted to surround himself with people who agreed with him all the time, while aspiring to the heights of pious vanity with such passion and devotion, it was claimed he had the power to levitate while meditating.
He may have made an impressive Doctor of the Church, but he would have made a lousy mate.

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Just so.

Don’t know why I still bother with what’s his name. He has so little respect for the people here that he can’t be bothered writing his own stuff.

—Fuck him. He’s on my ignore list. Perhaps he’ll be banned for plagiarism .

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Typical bloody Catholic. Sounds like my Dad and De La Salle Brother teachers***.

I read a bit of Aquinas when I was 16. One of his pearls involved one’s faith. As far as that model of reason was concerned, you believed everything or nothing.

***If one of dad’s mates had the gall to disagree with him, he would simply tell them they were ignorant and change the subject.

I know some cult extremists (they believe in a christian identity like religion) and they are crazy .
Here are the things they consider demonic :crazy_face:.

They call vehicles “Horses of the devil”.
They call televisions "Boxes of the devil ".

They call skyscrapers “Towers of the devil”.

They believe things like generators ,cell phone towers and antennas can bring evil souls together to hunt down good souls .

They call mobile phones "instruments of the devil ".

They preach “You must slaughter the horses of the devil you must use the stick of god to do it .”
and also “In order to scare the devil you must destroy all his possessions .”.They believe this is the best way to scare the devil .
giphy (1)

Mmm religious luddites.

We have them in Oz too. I girl I knew in my teens belonged to a group called ‘Plymouth Brethren’ —No newspapers, no radio or tv, no make up. Strict dress code.

Many sects have strict rules to make them feel special. Vegetarianism is a common one.

Once people have convinced themselves of the existence of god(s) it’s only a natter of degree.

So too the things people will do in the name of the religion . EG A carful reading and interpretation of the bible will justify almost any behaviour.


That’s like being friends with a clone of yourself. Friendship can flourish even between people with totally opposing political or religious views. It’s the differences that make life interesting, not the sameness.

You arrogant prick. Up yours.

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Presactly what I said…:sunglasses:

10/10, 100%, A+, etc etc…

Now this is getting freaky, it’s like we were separated at birth…:grin::wink:

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Two of my nearest and dearest friends were a lesbian couple. I am a hetrosexual male, yet we formed a close bond. I love them like my sister.

And we were able to have many wonderful conversations, I learned a lot about what being a lesbian is, their lifestyle, and so on. Heck, may times I escorted them to strip clubs, so they could enjoy watching nude gals and not get hit on themselves.

It is sort of very freaky to be sitting at a strip club and discussing the dancer’s body parts, how jiggly their boobs were, and yet being comfortable with each other and our own sexuality. But we were comfortable in each other’s company.

Having friends who are the polar opposite of my lifestyle enfiched my life tremendously. I became a better person because of them.

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Yes the extremists cultists I know has Neo-Luddism and Neo-Nazism religion .This is what “heaven” looks like according to them .They also hate animals they preach "When you hit a country with a curse you kill every animal and every human in it "
They also hate soft drinks they call it “water of the devil”. They believe everything must be pure and nothing should ever be mixed .

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Fuck! Out of all the gods I’m still rooting for Loki- goddamn…this is up his alley! Give you the heaven you imagine F O R E V E R - lol :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: becomes your living hell.

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