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Sometimes it doesnāt.
That nailing torture stuff requires attention to detail, apparently.
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Paul Foster in The Expository Times 123 (3), 122-124.
āThis study pursues the claim that Jesus never died on the cross. Though sensationalistic (especially in the hands of the media), the claim is ultimately anticlimactic and sober. Samuelsson investigates every instance of the language of crucifixion in ancient Greek, Latin, and Hebrew sources: Homer and Aesop, classical historians and philosophers, playwrights and orators, Hellenistic and Roman historians, ancient papyri, Roman philosophers and poets, as well as texts from the Hebrew Bible and Second Temple Jewish literature, and finally the NTā¦ This study is highly persuasive.ā
Gunnar Samuelsson; Senior Lecturer
Department of Literature, History of Ideas, and Religion
His assertion, after an extensive review of all relavant literature, āThere was no Crucifixion.ā Of course the JW have known this for a century. Crucifixion on a cross is not supported by historical records.
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They have recently found remainsāin the holy landāthat date back to the Roman era that show signs of crucifixion.
I believe that a Jesus of Nazareth probably existed, and that he was just the first reformed Rabbi.
There is even speculation that Jesus was actually twin brothers, and the resurrection was simply the surviving twin.
Re: How does an instrument of torture and death become a symbol of inspiration?
Hell, Dale Earnhardt was killed in a bad wreck during a NASCAR race. And to this day the NASCAR āworshippersā proudly disply his car and the number ā3ā in various ways (t-shirts, hats, jewelry, etc.) as an inspiration to their beloved racing āgodā. Soooooā¦ (shrugging shoulders)ā¦
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THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE
āIn Christian tradition, nailing the limbs to the wood of the cross is assumed, with debate centering on whether nails would pierce hands or the more structurally sound wrists. Romans did not always nail crucifixion victims to their crosses, and instead sometimes tied them in place with rope. In fact, the only archaeological evidence for the practice of nailing crucifixion victims is an ankle bone from the tomb of Jehohanan, a man executed in the first century CE.ā
The earliest image of the crucifixion is a late second-century graffiti mocking Christians. Called the Alexamenos Graffito, the image shows a figure with the head of a donkey on a cross with the words: āAlexamenos worships his God.ā
āScholars think that the Constanza gemstone, as it is known, dates from the fourth century CE. In this depiction, Jesusās hands do not appear to be nailed to the cross, since they fall naturally, as if he is tied at the wrists.ā
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If they have great but it is a well documented fact that crucifixion, spiking (placing the victim with knees up on a large sharpened stake) scourging, dressing in thorns and single stake crucifixion was a very common form of execution in the the 1st to 5th centuries under Roman occupation. It is a practice that is not in doubt. The history and pathology of crucifixion - PubMed.
A Jesus of Nazareth may have existed but there is just no corroboration of that assertion. None. Certainly not the magical apocalyptic jesus figure depicted in the gospels.
There is a host of speculations about the legendary jesus of the gospels. In fact the gospels themselves are speculation and folk tales. Without contemporary corroboration one can safely disregard all the puffs of hot air about the subject.
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I donāt neccesarily disagree with you. The human tendency toward confabulation is well known.
When I was a paramedic, I often saw how the details of a memorable 911 call could become distorted and twisted over time to suit the agenda of the story teller to the point where it becomes ridiculous . . . especially in a bar when recounting oneās own heroism in order to get laid.
So I donāt see the gospels as having any more credulity than the Greek legends of Heracles defeating the Hydra, or Odysseus and his crew being detained and eaten by a giant cyclops.
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āHey bartender, give the lady here another beer, and Iāll have an Adios Mother Fuckerā
"Oh thank you Jesus, Thatās so sweet of youā¦ā
āSo, anyway, Like I was saying. There I was standing trial before an improperly convened Jewish cout, the victim of lies and ridicule. I was spit upon, blindfolded, slugged, and slapped by those bastards who belong to the Sanhedrin. Then the fucking guards took me out and beat me. Itās a good thing I took a martial arts class once or I never would have survived. Look here, see this, I chipped a tooth and my robe is torn. And look how dirty my feet are. Anyway, after that, the sun started coming up and everyone started mocking and taunting me again. I just told them, 'Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. Iām rubber and you are glue what you say bounces off me and sticks onto you.ā
"Wow! Thatās really smart.ā
āYea, I just made it up.ā
āThis is my friend Sally, can she have a beer too?ā
'Sure, Barkeep. Another round here pleaseā¦ Now where was I? Oh, yeah, I was getting mocked again. The soldiers got this rose bush thing and made a hat out of it and then shoved it on my head. Look here, I still have a scratch."
Oh you poor baby. Did you go to the hospital.
Naw! I just thres some alcohol on it,. Iāll be fine. So anyway, after that, this fucking asshole named Pilate had me flogged. Oh not with a regular flog. I got flogged with a flog that had strips of metal tied into it. It ripped into my back, tore out my spine, well hell, if I wasnāt the all powerful son of god, I probably would have pissed my pants, but hey, I was sent here to be a sacrafice and so that is what Iām gonna do.
Ohhh YOu are so brave.
Awwā¦ any god worth his shit would do the same. Bartender, another round here. So after the flolgging,. which by the way ripped out my eye as well as my spine.
But I can see your eye, itās right there.
Shhh Sally,k your interrupting the story. He put it back in and it got better
Yeah, thatās it, I put it back in and it got better. So they led me like a sheep to the slaughter and even forced me to carry this big fucking wooden cross. It was this tall, gesturing, and this wide, gesturing. It must have weighed a thousand pounds. I even fell on the rough street and look, I stubbed my big toe, and thatās probably how my toga got torn. I should probably sue those assholes. I think one day I will just have a really nice party and not invite them.
But youāll invite us, wonāt you Jesus. (running her fingers through his beard).
You bet! You two are top on the list. Hey, your ready for another?
Well, I suppose you could always twist a girls arm. Thank you Jesus.
"Barkeep, set them up! Another round please. So I had to drag that fucking cross all the way through town and up to that hill. Golgotha? You know the place where they dump all the garbage. Then the fuckers nailed me to the fucking cross and left me there. I sat there for hours until finally some wise ass stabbed me in the abdomen with a spear. Look, here is the scar?
That looks like an appendix scar.
Shhh! Itās just a coincidince it looks like an appendix scar. He was stabbed with a spear. So what happened next.
Well there I was, nothing to do but die. Okay, I thought about calling out for John, and then when he got there telling him that I could see his house, but thatās an old dying on the cross joke and I didnāt want to use it. Besides, I was supposed to be the perfect sacrifice, so I died.
You Died?
You Died?
Well, I got better. Three days later I woke up in a cave and I felt fine. So hey, which one of you bitches wants to go home with me tonight and experience heaven.
Thatās the stupidest fucking story I have ever heard, your going to have to do a hell of a lot better than that. Thanks for the beers. Come on Sally, letās get outta this place.
Youāll burn in hell if you donāt fuck me tonight.
Oh go fuck yourself you piece of shit.
Yeah, why donāt you try your shtick on an alter boy. I hear theyāer easy.
You be sorā¦ (Hmmm? Alter boy?)
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If he had been decapitated on a guillotine would they all be wearing little ones around their necks?
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Getting decapitated by an axe or a sword would have been cooler. Just imagineā¦ Axe/sword earringsā¦ Awe/sword necklacesā¦ Axe/sword decorating your wallsā¦ A bad-ass looking sword on display in the rear window of your pickup truckā¦ Hell, lumberjacks would be held in much higher esteem, for that matterā¦ Oh, wow! And brandishing a sword in public would be considered a protected religious practice/right. Yippee!
Although, Iāve often wondered what the jewelry/trinket symbol would be if Jesus had been drawn and quartered. Seems like there would be some competition there with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypseā¦ 
Charm Bracelet
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Genius idea! Now, just imagine that scene being acted out in all the Passion Plays around the world every Easter.
Edit: I would love to be part of the special effects crew for one of those!
I got the theme song. Alan Jackson - The Old Rugged Cross (Live) - YouTube
On a hill far a-way
there were four rusty chains
The emblems of suffering and shame.
And I love those old chains
where the dearest and best
of a world of lost sinners was slain
So Iāll cherish the old rusted chains
that quartered my saviourās remains
And Iāll cling to the myth that contains
Old stories that ease all my pains.
The four rusted chains will always be true
and their stains and their meat chunks Iāll wear.
On a bracelet on my wrist, thatās where Iāll keep all the bits
of my precious lord savior I swear.
So Iāll cherish the old rusted chains
that quartered my saviourās remains
And Iāll cling to the myth that contains
Old stories that ease all my pains
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We would need to change some songs.
He had the whole world in his hands.
He had the whole world in his hands.
He had the whole world in his hands.
He had the whole world in his hands.
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Iāve got a piece of his liver
Iāve got a piece of his liver
Iāve got a piece of his liver
on my wrist.
Iāve got a piece of his liver
Iāve got a piece of his liver
Iāve got a piece of his liver
on my wrist.
Iāve got arms from his body
Iāve got legs from his body
Iāve got toes from his body
on my wrist.
Iāve got lungs from his body
Iāve got a rib from his body
Iāve got a foot from his body
on my wrist.
Iāve got ears from his body
Iāve got eyes from his body
Iāve got a nose from his body
on my wrist.
Iāve got (beep) from his body
Iāve got (beep) from his body
Iāve got (beep) from his body
on my wrist.
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Holy shit, I will never unhear this now.
Just like my favorite Christmas song,
Joy to the world,
That Barney ās dead
We chopped off his head!
What happened to his body
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it went
And round and round it went
What other songs can we rewrite?
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I have several āChristmas songsā Iāve re-written over the years.
Ah yesā¦
Cogās nuts toasting 
on an open fireā¦Tin-Man squeaking with delight. ā¦.I can just hear the crackling fireā¦
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