Favorite question for theists

I come to my “belief” system through years of reading, questioning, and discussions with a few friends. I have enjoyed the journey, and many of the discussions, although some of them seemed heated at the time.

My favorite question is in my profile, I think of it every time someone wishes me a blessed day or some other such superstition.

It is clearly similar to Sam Harris’s rant about the 5 million children under five who die each year as their parents pray to a deity.

When pressed by people at my door, I often phrase the question like this:

“We can observe there are Trillions of galaxies, each home to 100,000’s of billions of stars and planets, you believe were created by a god, and you believe this god will deny you entry to heaven because you wore the wrong head covering.”

So the topic is: (excuse me if I am being redundant.)

What is your favorite one liner?

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“If God is anti evil, then why create evil and do bets with the devil?”

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Welcome, Mark. Good to have you with us. Here’s one for you. Not exactly a “one-liner”, but it’s one I like…

Lucifer and all the other angels were in heaven with God. Heaven is Paradise, and God is perfect. YET… Lucifer and other angels rebelled against God because - apparently - they were not happy… in heaven… with God… Hmmm… :thinking:

Wait, another one…

Lucifer and his gang of angels rebelled and started a war against God and the other angels. Vicious bloody war in heaven. Uhhhhh… Why was there a war? Could God not have just “snapped his fingers” and made Lucifer and his gang simply vanish?

Oh, okay, one more…

To punish Lucifer, God created hell and put Lucifer in charge of punishing sinners for all of eternity. Lucifer is supposedly evil and hates God, right? Lucifer wants to make people rebel against God like he did, right? So why in the hell (pun intended) would Lucifer want to punish people who do bad things against God?


Welcome Mark

So god turns to one of his angels and says “here, pull my finger.”

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When god farts does that mean tornado or a hurricane will appear and lay waste to a city?

Adam and Eve eat the apple and realize they are naked and they did wrong. So they hide in the garden because they are ashamed. I repeat… They were HIDING… from GOD… in the garden HE created. BUT, it gets better…

God comes along for his daily visit. Does not see Adam or Eve anywhere. Naturally, starts calling for them. “Yoo-hooo! Where arrrre youuuu? Come out come out wherever you are!” (Wait… What??? :flushed:) And when they finally came out from their hiding place, God asked why they were hiding. (I’ll leave it to the reader to figure out the punchline.)



God: “Who’s there?”


Jesus walks into a bank. Approaches the manager and hands him three nails and a hammer. “Hi. I’m here to pay off a debt.”

If someone says they’ll pray for me, I just tell them not to waste their breath.

I’ve always entertained the idea of being a smart ass and telling the Christian in return that I’d pray for them while they’re drowning or having a life or death situation while not intervening to save their life.

I mean come on! They have to know in the back of their mind that the fairy tale shit isn’t real. They wouldn’t want someone to stand there and “pray” for them while they choked to death or had a thug charging them with a knife. They know prayers don’t do jack shit.

I mean fuck. I wish they’d drop the act. Life or death, most of them don’t “actually” believe in that shit. Some of them get mad and hate on their Christian god when they get a terminal illness or end up with cancer. They’re so stupid lol

AH-HAH! David, I do believe you just uncovered the TRUE REASON for Lucifer and the other angels rebelling. (On a side note, it stands to reason that the angels that sided with God had no sense of smell.)

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Thanks for the Welcome messages.

When they disclose they are at my home to bring me the good news I’ll often reply with " Great, but may I help you understand the world better so you don’t need to invoke god did it to answer a question."


Just so you know, I may be the only person in existence who got the JW’s to stay away from my home by repeatedly inviting them over for bible discussions. True story. (And I sometimes actually miss their visits now.)


lol I want to hear this story about the JWs. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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Oh, man. Long story. Don’t have time right now, but I’ll see if I can give you a “Reader’s Digest” version in a day or so.


I never got them to stay away (until I moved deep in the woods) but I have had them tell me no, no I don’t want to know and proceed down the sidewalk.

I “captured” a couple of thin tie boys on my sidewalk which boarders a steep bank while I explained the best science explanation for what process lead to us. They resorted to asking what happened in my life that I am hostile to god.

lol I would love to hear it. There was this old guy who was a JW who used to come over to my house when I was unemployed. I got bored and alone and any company was better than none. My ex wife was working a job at the time and pregnant with our daughter who is 12 now. To make a long story short. A week after our daughter was born, he came by one day while I was in the shower and my ex wife ended up running him off. I heard him tell her that we should join their congregation and I heard her tell him to beat it as she slammed the door in his face. He never came back. She was really aggravated about it. she asked me why I ever let him come in.

It goes to show that boredom creates endless possibilities for an atheist.

If god actually existed, I think it’d be some infinitely powerful AI like thing which can monitor every activity taking place in the universe lol.


Like Skynet from Terminator?


Kinda yes :joy:

i do have weird theories if god actually existed

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