Why does everyone get the Noah myth wrong?

By ‘everyone’ I mean everyone I come across, christian or atheist.

Q how may of each animal did Noah put in his ark?

Usual Answer: Two of every kind. Not quite.

What genesis actually says is of every unclean animal, two. Of every clean animal seven.

I find it bemusing that so many believers don’t seem to have actually read their bible.

Genesis 7 2:3 You shall take with you seven each of every clean animal, a male and his female; two of each animals that are unclean, a male and his female; also seven each of birds of the air, male and female, to keep the species alive on the face of the earth (Genesis 7:2,3).


To work out the space issue, I only needed to remember God can do literally anything and the Tardis . It’s obvious that only a fraction of Noah’s Ark can be seen from the outside. Same for the food they needed; god just magicked it.

–If you believe that, would you like to buy a dragon? His name is Trevor , he’s a four years old Welsh Pygmy green with a wingspan of only 12 feet. I’ve been feeding him homeless people. (he prefers live food) Buyer will need to pick him up, preferably in a large van.

Yeah, it is kind of sad when we get someone here trying to preach; who somehow knows even less about their religion than the people they are trying to preach too.

That’s also why we seem to only get jerk Christians (imo). You kind of have to be a jerk to do that (in essence, it is a weird selection bias).

But as far as reading the Bible. I sometimes fall into the trap of believing that theists don’t really believe. I know it is a mistake, but I think it is forgivable. Considering they tell us the Bible is the most important thing ever written; then it turns out they haven’t actually read it. I can assure you; if I believed that shit, I’d know that book backwards and forwards.


Me too.

If I believed that there was a god and he was that total crunt YHWH of the Torah, I’d be flucking terrified .I’d be able to recite that book backwards.

All three off the Abrahamic faiths are very legalistic, but orthodox Judaism with its 613 commandments takes the biscuit. However, easy enough to understand when one realises they believe YHWH is in charge. I’d be scared to fall asleep for fear of what he might do to me, or my entire country. .

Exactly - the loaves and fishes prove that :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Hahahaha … almost “there” in a JW mindset. The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge. (Proverbs 9:10)

Oh, yeah. I had a coworker bragging about her tattoos. Yep, gonna get that angel tattoo touched up. Hahahahaha. She’s also divorced twice over, but don’t anyone dare “use god’s name in vain.” Personally, if I was going to use god’s name, I’d use one from the thousands of less easily butt hurt gods :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:. If she’d actually read that bible she thinks everyone else has to live by, she’d realize she’s going to hell on technicalities.


This is where Catholic apologists have a ball with biblical hermeneutics:

“Fear of god” actually means “respect”. I forget what they reckon " for I am a jealous god" means

There’s stuff in different parts of the Old Testament which make it very clear that YHWH was not the only god. He did not become the God and lord of the universe until well after the alleged exodus. (even then many of the Israelites seem to have remained polytheists until at least the 4th century bce)

Trivia. From memory, I think this from a film I saw about Moses. He comes down from the mountain with the tablets of the first laws revealed to him***. People reasonably ask “What his name then Moses?” He replies, repeating the words God said when Moses asked the same question; Yodh He Wa He “I AM WHO AM” we say Yahweh or Jehova

***God kept revealing his commandments to Moses over many years, until there were 613. Circumcision is not one. That commandment was the result of God’s covenant with Abraham.

The Mitzvah, known collectively as the mitzvot cover every aspect of life. It is still argued today that the Jews only survived as a people because of the mitzvot, or ‘The Law’ which gave them a sense of identity and community.

1 Like

Wow. I’ve never even heard that before, and missed or forgot it when I’ve read the bible. Another thing Ken Ham seems to be ignoring. Of course the things Ham twist or ignores is legion. The ark encounter web site claims that the worse case scenario would be 7000 animals on the ark. Not only can’t he do science, he can’t do math :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: . That religious theme park intent on teaching children to say “were you there” when confronted by science sticks in my craw. There’s this huge sucking sound of taxpayer money getting vacuumed into that abyss. Money that was meant to keep legitimate businesses afloat (hee hee) during the pandemic. I’m talking about businesses that must adhere to fair hiring practices and not make employees sign documents saying they think homosexuallity is a sin and that the earth is 6000 years old.

The version of the Flood tale that has the seven clean and two unclean animals is the priestly version, which from faulty memory comes from the traditions of the post David kingdom of Israel, which the Assyrians took into captivity and consigned to historical oblivion around 720BC.
These versions survived in the hearts and minds, and texts preserved by the northern refugees and their priests, who avoided exile and remained in the Levant.

In a practical vein it was the Israelite priests who understood those extra animals would be necessary, not only in preserving the logic of the narrative for when Noah would throw a post-Flood-barbecue-party for God which required sacrifice of clean animals but also for ritual sacrifices the imminent priesthood would be ordained to observe.

The differing cultural stories of the ‘lost’ Israel and Judah were squeezed together in an awkward editorial attempt (attributed to Ezra according to Richard Friedman in his book “Who Wrote the Bible?”), a century later, in a token effort to symbolise the spiritual and historical unity of the split kingdoms, to give hope to the population of Judah, who then anticipated that the Bablylonians who had started sniffing around the Promised Land would finish the exiling work the Assyrians has started, which they did in a number of devastating raids around 570 BC.

In Babylonian exile without a homeland or temples and believing their God was punishing them in exile, the Israelites revised many tenets of their faith and foremost of these was that there was really only one God, whereby they more or less invented monotheism, which produced another textual contradiction: those references to other gods and councils of gods in the Old Testament which prove to be purely editorial inclusions of a deveoping theology.


oh, and in answer to the question Why does everyone get the Noah myth wrong? None of them have read the Bible and that includes quite a lot of self professed Christians, but we all knew that.


Well quite, if a deity can do literally anything, then why the clumsy and sadistic global flood, or any kind of flood?

The bullshit about rainbows clearly reflects an ignorance of the prismatic effects of water.

The number of animals on the boat is just a cursory objection of course. How about a small family collecting these many millions of species, let alone feeding them. With only animals to travel on.

It’s hard to credit that anyone can believe this tripe is literally true, especially in the modern era.


The Ark Encounter wants to teach kids the “truth” about the ark. Hahahahahaha. At one point on the tour they lure kids with a display of cartoon animals and kid’s books, what they call the dangerous fairy tale version, to then smack them in the face with the massive death and destruction that would really ensue if the world flooded. I guess it’s their version of scared straight, give the little kiddies night mares. They are so awful on soooooooo many levels.


Sure. I’ll send Charley Weasley, my dragon wrangler, over to pick him up.

Because he’s a sadistic, genocidal cunt

1 Like

Oh, oh, I know this one. Because god works in mysterious ways. Once you accept that then even the most egregious, monstrous acts can be waved away.


I have long held the opinion that people create deities in their own image, not the other way around.

Despite Drich’s bs, it’s clear that changing societal views, change the overall view people hold of the deity they choose to believe exists.


I’ve posted my basic position on religion several times since I’ve been here. I’ll do it again just for you:

That without exception , every religion reflects the society which invents it and the individuals which practice it.

Further, that 85% of the world population has some religious belief suggests to me that religion meets some important human needs.

Further still, the persistence of religion in having been present in every recorded human society to some degree suggests to me that religion has or had some significant evolutionary advantage.

I still don’t know the truth about noah vanderhoff does he blow goats :joy: (Wayne’s world)

1 Like