Jesus fuckin’Christ!!! What fucked ip fantasy do you live in that “child support” - monetary support for the child is YOUR decision to accept or reject??? If you can afford to not have to use the bio-father’s maintenance for food, clothing, shelter, and other day-to-day expenses then the child’s money should be placed in a trust account for the child when they come of age.
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Are you? You have chosen the welfare of one who impregnated you and appears to be indifferent to your child. Choose between him and your baby, you can’t have it both ways. Because if you choose him you are not making a good choice concerning the future welfare of your child.
You may not feel it now, but in a few short years whatever he may contribute to your child will be important, for the welfare of your child.
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If someone does not want to be involved with the child, why drag them in? Also, I’m an MRA - some of us like child support in some cases, but I hate it all.
It’s not like he could afford it, anyway.
So why take money from him - driving possibly BOTH of us into poverty - and possibly get him sent to jail for not being able to pay?
If he CHOOSE to pay, then I would let him pay for the child - but I would rather he be involved with the child. That’s the best child support a child can get.
He can’t afford it. I don’t want to drive someone into poverty just because I decided to carry out a pregnancy.
The best he can contribute to the child is by being an active father.
And while some people do NOT let the father see his child, despite the fact that he wants to, I’m not going to stop him from seeing the child. It’s his choice to or to not - I won’t drag him in, especially since he can’t afford it. Neither can I, but at least I can always find a way to support it while staying at a shelter.
I made a mistake, then I made a choice to take responsibility - he did not get a choice in whether it stayed or went. So I will not make him the financial carrier for my decisions.
I grew up the oldest of three. My Mom and dad split up right after my little brother was born, and then dear ol’ dad “disappeared” from our lives, leaving my Mom to basically fend for herself as best she could in keeping food on the table, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. Meanwhile, my dad was off somewhere starting another family with another woman, and he RARELY sent any type of support to help her provide for us. And when he actually did send something, it was barely enough to buy even a week’s worth of groceries. And he was NEVER held accountable for his lack of support. Had it not been for my Granny and Grandaddy being there to help my Mom, I shudder to think of how bad my childhood might have been. And even with my Granny and Grandaddy helping, we still lived on the bare minimum most of the time living in the housing projects and/or various trailer parks and using food stamps to get groceries. But, hey, if that is what you want for your child, then have a blast with it. I’m sure your kid will thank you one day for refusing to accept financial support from his/her father who is legally obligated to provide it.
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And that was a terrible thing to have happened. I’m not denying it.
A better solution would have been for the government to have actually helped you, since, you know, you were kids.
He can’t afford it. I’m not gonna drive both of us into poverty.
I mean, I could raise them as an MRA if I wanted, but I won’t. That’s how I would get them to be happy about it without reason. However, I WILL teach them about facts, and let them use it as they please.
One day they’ll understand why I refused it.
I disagree, he should NOT legally be allowed to support it - he didn’t choose to keep it in existence or get rid of it. I should not saddle him with the expenses he got no choice in - that’s being very wrong of me.
I’m sorry, but I cannot ethically and morally take his money - not unless he’s able to, and wants to pay.
I would rather he just be involved.
My own father wanted to be involved, but it wasn’t my mom that stopped him - she wouldn’t do that, as my 2 siblings through her got to see their own dad - it was his criminal record. Since he (the dude who knocked me up on accident) could NOT afford it, he would probably get sent to jail, and then he possibly would not be able to see his kid. I would rather keep that from happening.
I’m not just rejecting “child support” just because - I have my reasons. I can list them out in a numbered list to see my reasons easier, if anyone would like.
The better solution is the parents paying for and supporting their children.
Food stamps came from the government- NOT from his father…
Perhaps, but the best solution is being their for your kids in the first place.
No. Being there, how??? You’ve already said you’ll be at a shelter with the little one and a “life of poverty”. You’re an extremist when it comes to “men”. You’re in high school??? Teenager??? Didn’t make the military training??? (I assume you quit school to try??? - went back to school???)
You want to “keep this from your parents” forever 
and you put the young man that also took the risk of pregnancy and children “off the hook” of responsibility because you seem to confuse a woman’s reproductive rights with child-care and raising. A man accepts child-care raising legal responsibility risks every time he doesn’t put on a condom or does but baby comes anyway. A woman has a reproductive right to choose for her own body and YES whether she will raise the child because so, so, SO very rarely does the male parent raise the children.
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Wow… Apparently you missed the part about our living in government funded housing projects and using government welfare food stamps to buy food. And WHY should the government be responsible for the inactions of a deadbeat sperm-doner dad? What that basically says is that EVERY TAX PAYING AMERICAN is responsible for supporting the child EXCEPT FOR the child’s actual biological father. Sure, that makes plenty of sense.
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Careful, White. I wouldn’t be surprised if Drew has read some “studies” and stories about this stuff and is now an expert on it. Your decades of personal experience as a wife and mother are no match for Drew’s few weeks of “studies”.
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It’s possible that I could get out of poverty or get help from some others, though that is the most likely possibility so far.
How so?
Only because, when I was at MEPS, I accidentally revealed that I’m trans, so they paused it.
No, I stayed in school. I’m going to finish school. (High school in this case.) A girl who also got pregnant on accident is doing the same. You just sign up for the military while in high school if you do it in my case.
No, just until it’s born or I’m away from them. I might get kicked out, or they may try to force me into an abortion, and I’m not ready for either.
No, I just choose to keep it - he had no choice. I am pro-choice, so I believe he should have a choice in being a parent too.
No.
Ok?
Actually, men often get denied equal custody of their children, and many of them WANT to raise the children, and spend almost 40% or so of child care hours. (See below.)
Would you force a mother to not get an abortion, to raise the child, and/or support it? No? Then why do you do that for fathers?
How many times do I have to remind you that ONE personal experience does NOT equal the world/reality? If so, according to my experience, no woman gets raped (but men are victims of attempted rape by a woman), women do not get sexually harassed (but men get overly sexually harassed), and 13 year old girls date men around 30 (at the time I had no idea it was a bad thing, and we dated online…now, I regret it as I look back then).
Drag his ass into court and establish the paternity. Judges listen, and if you express a desire not to force him into poverty, he may pay a small token account. But in the future, if he begins to earn enough money, you can petition to increase his support. If not now, you will have lost the opportunity to receive the funds your child deserves.
Because if you do not, ten years from now this dead-beat sperm donor will be sitting on a patio bragging to his friends how he screwed this naive person and manipulated him/her into giving him a free pass.
And you and your child will be living in poverty.
More anagrams. Is it a magnetic resonance angiography?
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Microsoft Word - SJC_GBC-071105.doc (breakingthescience.org) (PDF) Breaking the Science: Misrepresentation of Gender Bias in the 1989 Report of the Gender Bias Committee of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court (article)
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Why Dads Don’t Take Parental Leave - The New York Times (nytimes.com), Paternity Leave Statistics [2022]: Average Paternity Leave Length – Zippia
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31.81% in 2015 (For both moms and dads, more time spent on child care | Pew Research Center), dads end up spending almost equal time with kids on weekends (On weekends, dads find more time for leisure than moms | Pew Research Center), depending on the activity fathers spend almost the same amount of time on childcare as moms (Average hours per day parents spent caring for and helping household children as their main activity (bls.gov)),
https://img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAR0maL.img?w=768&h=641&m=6
https://img-s-msn-com.akamaized.net/tenant/amp/entityid/AAR0p2J.img?h=768&w=1366&m=6&q=60&o=f&l=f
As I’ve told people before, it’s a Men’s Rights Activist.
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Thank you. Please understand that anagrams can lead to confusion and a breakdown in communication. Within your circle of acquaintances this may work, but in this forum, be aware many of us come from different age groups, cultures, languages and nations.
You have made over 200 posts, is it reasonable for me or anyone to remember each and every word?
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So, once again, it falls on the responsibility of OTHERS to help support your child while the biological father gets a free pass? That is some super-duper bing-bang thinking right there, I must say… (chuckle)…
See, White? I TOLD you Drew is an expert on these things.
Yes, I understand. I’ll make sure that each anagram is labelled next time. Apologies for the confusion.
The government is supposed to work for the people. I believe in helping those who need it, while letting those that want grow.
Men are not slaves to give free money to different people.
Considering that I’ve been a Men’s Rights Activist since around I was 8 or so, and I have been researching this stuff my whole life, I would say that I do know some things on subjects like these.
[quote=“David_Killens, post:72, topic:2415”]
Why are you guys trying to get me to get child support?
I’ve already stated my reasons why I don’t want to.
I doubt that. Apparently, he told my teacher he wasn’t doing so well, some time after he broke up with me, so I don’t think he feels too good about it.
That does certainly suck. But I can certainly find a way without sucking the money out of the dad? I’m taking responsibility. I choose - now it’s time for the dude to make a choice. I am pro-choice, and that’s for all.