What is a news outlet compared to a…

Umm… To be fair to Jonweick, the “HAZMAT” “DANGER” sign got stuck to the furry pink toilet seat cover when I sat down to clip my toenails. I didn’t even notice it myself until I stood up and found a toenail clipping in my toothpaste. I looked back to where I was sitting and there it was, stuck to the toilet seat cover with a brown number 1 on it. I laughed my ass off as I spit out the toenail clipping. Number 1 is written in number 2. There is just something funny about that.

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Again??? Jesus fuckin’Christ- I’ve told you to lift the lid! LIFT the fucking lid!

takes sleeve, wipes shit off my pretty seat cover

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Apparently the idiots pursuing this ludicrous exercise, never learned in biology class that the testes descend into the scrotum during puberty, because they function best when they are allowed to dump heat into the surroundings, and operate at a temperature cooler than ambient body temperature.

Still, if right wing fantasists want to destroy their sperm count and produce fewer offspring, we should encourage them to do so. Means we’ll have fewer of them to deal with in future fenerations.

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Doesn’t matter. I do it to bleach the hair around my anus. It’s free and natural. Just like me. And blonde. I’m also blonde. Dirty blonde!!! Hardy fucking har har har!!! :joy:

What a fucked up thing to say (Jumping on the bars of my cage and paddling them excessively.) Cooperation HA! Law of the Jungle: man eat man! The rat race! Real men were not made to be cooperative. The day I cooperate is the day I turn the shotgun on myself. Fight or die. You are with me or against me. My testosterone level will never drop.

Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick

Edit: Tock

Vice is fun to watch sometimes. For some reason this made me giggle.

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we lost the war against Emus…Emu War - Wikipedia

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I’m surprised you would publicize a photo of yourself throttling one of those poor creatures…

Edit: boomerang

Why didn’t the Christians there just pray to God to destroy the emus? Oh, wait… I bet the emus were using iron chariots, weren’t they?

So the emus weren’t omnipotent?

How can they ride anything, they’re birds?

Wtf is happening, am I having a stroke? Actually given my age and lifestyle it was bound to happen, as you were I’m off to causality for a CTscan.

Emu

Uh…just because you have never seen it doesn’t mean…well you know, it’s like God, it could be true, cause, you know, anything is possible…wait…if anything is possible, then wouldn’t nothing also be possible? And if “nothing is possible”, well then that means anything cannot be possible and that opens up a whole other door…if nothing is not possible then technically speaking, anything is not possible, given the fact that nothing is in fact something. (But I digress as various members here can attest happens from time to time)
I for one am not going to reject the idea of chariot-riding Emus simply because I have never seen one. Until the last so-called president I had never seen a jackass drink from a water bottle…so there’s that.
Good luck with the scan, although I heard there are rats in the radiology department…

Edit Aussie nightmare

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I love that expression, but as a kid it annoyed everyone when I asked why we had a word for stuff that wasn’t? The truth is like poetry, and most people hate poetry… :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Fortunately, no. I think the thought of an emu reading my thoughts is a very disturbing thought. Oh, wait. You said omnipotent. Ummm… Well, I suppose that would be just as disturbing. But I digress…

Anyway, all things considered, one could speculate the emus read the bible and discovered iron chariots were God’s weakness. It’s the only possible explanation as to why they used iron chariots to avoid being defeated by Christian prayers.

(Edit for lack of omniscience.)

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Figures. Even as a kid you were always trying to rock the boat by making people think logically. :roll_eyes: Obviously, you never grew out of it.

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Looking back I had a lot of rows for being “argumentative” so that’s a nicer way to put it I suppose, but ironically I can vividly remember how dissatisfying it was when my siblings or parents ended an argument with an ad hominem like that, but then I didn’t know why. The priest in my confirmation classes got right bent out of shape as well, but he definitely had it coming peddling that nonsense to children. Apparently the immaculate conception is “no laughing matter”. :face_with_raised_eyebrow: I beg to differ, even then.

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What you guys don’t seem to realise is that Emu’s, Koalas and Red Kangaroos along with most Aussie spiders and most snakes are just complete cunts.

The average theist on these forums is just no competition.

And don’t any of you lightweight buggers suggest iron chariots to the fucken emus. Krissake…

Shirl, pour me another beer and ignore the septics willya?

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Truth.

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So, they all reproduce asexually?