Summon The Devil

Summon the Devil, you gone this far in life you might as well test the waters. What do you say?

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God’s right-hand man? Why not? Frankly speaking, summoning the Devil would be a lot safer that facing that raping, murdering, genocidal, butcher of the Bible. Open a page, and you will find someone God has killed. You have to hunt for the 6 or 7 that Satan kills.


Summon Satan? Hell, I have him on speed-dial. Why? You need a favor from him? Let me know, and I’ll see if he’s busy.


I’ve been living on his sofa for the last eight months!!!

Easy peasie. I’ll do it right now.

humming to self draw a little pentagram on the floor boards with chalk hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm - continue humming. And let’s take a crucifix (I’ve got one handy).

Okay. Mmm hmm. Everything is set. Turn the crucifix upside downnnnnnnnn and JAM IT INTO THE CENTRE OF THE PENTAGRAM!!!




And in comes the virgin. And there you go. Satan, at your service.

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Uh, look again. And this time slip on your glasses…that’s SANTA, not satan…

Edit jingle bells


@CosmicPriest369 You seem to be implying that as an atheist I am close to summoning the devil.

First off, this also implies I am doing wrong to others (evil). The only “wrong” (and this is only from your perspective) is that I do not believe a god exists, I do not bend my knee to something I do not believe in.

Secondly, I do not believe in the supernatural, such beings as gnomes, god, the devil, and so on. So how could I even want to interact with an imaginary being?


You obviously don’t know what Atheism is. Read up on it, trainwreck.


I’m willing to try…Uhhh; what I’m I supposed to do exactly? I don’t know to get started.

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I’ve always preferred the “darker” things in life, ever since I can remember. Was born into a catholic family, spent 9 years in their schools, had to go to mass every Sunday until my late teens, then said no more, I don’t believe any of their bullshit.
I’ve been a non-theistic Satanist/Atheist my entire life. I’d bet that if any of your bullshit was actually true, I’d be on Lucifer’s side. At least I wouldn’t be an arrogant, stuck up hypocrite like most of you are. I’d get to have some fun during my lifetime, and not preaching to people who don’t want to hear you.


Hell is where the fun people go and party. Heaven is where they chant Gregorian crap and suck god’s dick. God has murdered many millions, the devil not even ten. God is a liar, the devil has told the truth.

There is a stairway to Heaven, but Highway to hell.


I heard Satan has been summoned. He didn’t not send me to investigate, did someone fucking break something again? I told you guys there is no fixing a warped mind that makes associations that don’t exist. I mean I can fix a lot of shit……not that though. Please Satan is too busy not existing to deal with you theistic trolls.

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Fuck, it’s Freyaday, time to go Satanic and summon the devil.