@Drew you do not need to know anything about sports. But if a person is heavily emotionally invested in a certain team, mix in copious amounts of alcohol that can make a person belligerent, combine that with a huge loss that puts them out of the playoffs, may lead to severe disappointment, leading to violence against others.
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Yes, that does make sense, when you put it like that.
Funny. Because you seem to think you know one helluva lot about Domestic Violence. Interesting… 
You crack me up, kid. A little history lesson for you here, if I may. But, first, here is something that is VERY important for you to know that MOST PEOPLE simply do not understand. And it makes a MAJOR difference on how all those “studies” should be viewed.
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No two police departments are the same. Every department across the country has its own unique policies, procedures, codes, and levels of training for its officers. And that is not even counting the differences between Municipal Police, County Sheriffs, and State Patrols.
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Every state in the U.S. has its own set of laws, and each state enforces those laws in their own chosen ways. And each and every city/town within a given state has its own set of laws and ordinances supplementing the state’s laws. And those cities/towns enforce their laws in whatever ways they choose, as long as they do not violate state laws.
In other words, I would not be able to go to another department (even within my own state) and police the same way I did in the department where I started. Do you understand that, or do you need to find another study to read? Anyway, back to history…
In the grand scheme of things, specific DV laws have not been around for very long. They hardly existed anywhere at all when I first started in the police academy way back when. Before that time, victim’s of DV (mostly females and the elderly) were pretty much shit-outta-luck. If police arrived on scene and there was no felony offense committed, then no arrest could be made if the victim was unwilling to press charges (sign a warrant). The most the police could do was make a report and leave… WITH THE SUSPECT STILL THERE WITH THE VICTIM. After I graduated the academy and had been on patrol for awhile, a specific DV law was enacted allowing us to arrest a suspect if a victim had visible injuries, even if the victim did not want to press charges. And that was actually a good thing for a long time. Unfortunately, as with most good things when they encounter a politically-motivated bureaucracy, that practical and beneficial law that worked quite well gradually got twisted, turned, and way-overly-complicated, and eventually morphed into an unwieldy, easily-manipulated inefficient clusterfuck of a law. And when I say “easily manipulated”, I am referring to how so many of the “repeat offender” households began to learn how to use the law to control one another. Even worse, it practically destroyed common sense and stripped away a vast amount of officer discretion on DV calls. By the time I retired, it was beyond pathetic. It was to the point I would sometimes have to make arrests in cases I absolutely did not think it was necessary. Same goes for most all the officers in my department. And it has gotten even worse since I left, according to some of the guys I know who are still there. And once again, it is vital to remember this was just ONE city within one of fifty states. And there are states/cities out there now with even WORSE DV laws/policies/procedures. Meaning all those cases/reports in your “studies” cannot all be lumped together in one neat little basket. Far, far, far too many variables involved for them to have any significant meaning. But, again, you obviously have waaaay more experience with this and a much deeper insight into social dynamics than I do. So, please, don’t let my decades of dealings with reality burst your little fantasy bubble of “studies”.
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Your use of the emojis…how old are you? 15?
Ok.
Having already reacted to it, basically I already knew the history.
Seeing those things, I already knew about them.
Then a study in the future may compare rates of arrest per police department. These studies are usually in general. So you can make one, if you want, or wait for it to appear. If I was able to, I’d make one myself, but I don’t have the resources or capability to do so, currently.
I know that. I’m not dumb.
Obviously.
Obviously.
Condescending, but continue.
Which I’ve already known about, considering what you’ve told me so far, but continue. Maybe there’ll be something I do NOT know in there.
If you count all of human history? Of course. If you count my age? It’s several decades older than me.
Also, check out this:
The Body of Liberties adopted in 1641 by the Massachusetts Bay colonists states, “Every married woman shall be free from bodily correction or stripes by her husband, unless it be in his own defense from her assault.”
Microsoft Word - RADARreport-50-DV-Myths.doc (mediaradar.org)
How long ago was this?
Most DV victims are male, and they are still shit-outta-luck. While female victims were previously also shit-outta-luck (nearly to the same extent that men were, because at least they weren’t taken around to be mocked by everyone - see below), now most of them aren’t (except for those with a female abuser - shelters focus almost entirely on male-on-female victims of DV).
Stang Riding:
“…and, in other contexts, a form of ‘riding the stang’ could be used as a punishment at any time of year.” Riding the Stang - Oxford Reference
And that was a bad thing. I’m not denying that.
I recall a study done by a woman that found that a specific law, mandatory arrest laws, INCREASED partner homicides. (Below.) I don’t know if this is the law you’re talking about, but if it is, then I would suggest being wary, since it increased intimate partner homicides.
Like I pointed, not necessarily.
I know of the ilk of people of which you are talking about. They tend to ignore male DV victims.
That’s also another possibility.
Oh, so you ARE probably talking about mandatory arrest.
Obviously. I’ve criticized some of them before.
For the police report ones? Of course.
For the rest? No.
True, but at least the rates of DV against partners can be looked at.
Not everyone is a monolith. You can group people based off of personal experience.
It’s not a “little fantasy bubble of ‘studies’.” Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s well over 200 studies, and especially when considering the stories I’m also going to provide, it’s probably well over 300 accounts (studies and stories). And I know that they will equal well over 300,000 total participants.
Note: I’m going to put all of them on a site, as I don’t want to overload my comment. The site will continue to load the studies, however, not the paper but the results and pointing out any biases that occur. Since the site won’t be official until tomorrow, that should give me enough time to start the list.
I will, however, post the links to each study as I put up the things on the site.
(Also, it will be of a religion - but it’s an atheistic religion that doesn’t actually believe in the gods/Princes, but rather uses them as symbols, like Satanism. I should put that warning on the site. But, yeah, there will be education parts, study parts, etc. Basically, science is a part of the religion. But, yeah, I’ll the put the studies on there.)
Sigh
Do you know how hard it is to take you seriously when you put up emojis like this, in that place?
14 and a half, so close enough. 
As for your “stories”, I have no need nor desire to read any of them, because I have actually LIVED THOSE STORIES up close and personal over a career that was longer than the amount of time you have been on this Earth. But thanks for the offer.
By the way, my police career started in '92. Oh, and the reason I use the emojis I use is not because of some random impulse. With a few rare exceptions, I tend to be quite specific and purposeful with how and what I write in order to relay my “tone” as accurately as possible. That includes my use of emojis.
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Wow. Nothing gets past you, huh? Guessing you read a “study” about it somewhere. Truth be known, though, I was shooting for “sarcasm”. But, hey, no need to quibble over semantics, right?
You miss the point. You are receiving a first-hand account from someone who has been there, done that. Academic studies can have value, but nothing, nothing beats a first-hand account from someone who has experienced whatever is the topic.
And to request he does a study and publish it is a cop-out. Instead of accepting and digesting his words, you are hoping to distance yourself from reality and entice him to do a fool’s errand of a study.
If you live your life based on studies, you will live a very screwed up life. Your impending child and the dead-beat sperm donor is a good example.
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So, stories of men and women being abused by women and the women getting away with it…ok.
Thank you.
It’s impossible to take you seriously when you use them like that.
First off, I don’t need a study for that.
Second off, you don’t like science? Studies ARE science, afterall.
Well, then you failed.
And one experience does not equal the entire world.
You know what, fine. If it’s first hand experiences you want, I’ll tell you mine.
I was physically, mentally, emotionally, and whatever else you wanna call it, abused. I was dragged down stairs with only a pair of handcuffs. I couldn’t feel my thumb for 3 days, and my side hurt. I was punched in the gut and had the person down play it in front of everyone despite the fact that I could not breathe almost at all for several minutes. I got yelled at for flinching when someone slapped me.
I have been told nearly every day that I am retarded, stupid, to shut up, that I’m a horrible person, that I should “man up,” that I’m a cry baby, that I’m just a failure that can’t do anything right, that I’m a pedophile, that I’m a rapist and rape apologist, and more. I have been isolated by my entire family because one member decided to turn everyone else on me, I have been rejected and slapped and told by my grandmother that she doesn’t need me because she has my siblings and that I’ll never be her grandson.
I’ve been treated less trustworthy than my family member who has literally stolen THOUSANDS of dollars and gotten away with it because she’s a cute little blonde girl when I have never done anything like that, I have never done anything to lose their trust, but they do it anyway. I have been threatened to be sent to a Mormon school by someone who told me that it would do bad things to my gender identity. I have been threatened by a boyfriend for using the word trans.
I have gotten into an argument with a boyfriend several times that, if we did get violent, I would probably suffer greatly since he is really strong. I have been “play” hit before many times, and when I complained that it hurt (oftentimes a lot), I was told that I was overreacting and it got downplayed. That’s not the only stuff, either.
And I have NEVER reported it to the police, to a hospital, any authority like that. I was mostly afraid that they would get told that I’m just faking it or something, though it took a while for me to realize that it was abuse.
I have only told some of my friends, and I have never tried to do anything legal about it.
You wanna talk about experiences around DV? Fine. My experiences say that most victims are male - I have met 3 male friends who were abused by their mother, but only 1 had actually gotten the said mother arrested or taken away from her - and that men and women are equally violent.
You wanna ignore studies, which show the grouped experiences of many people? Fine.
But if you wanna play the experiences game, here you go.
No. It’s like when someone says “If there isn’t the book you want to read out there, then write it yourself.” But, sure. We’ll go with yours.
I do not live my life on studies, and I do admit that they may have their limits. However, they can be very useful, and so I choose to find as much studies and research as I possibly can, so I can put them together.
What does that have to do with studies?
Never said I had a plan in the first place.
…(bemused grin)… Oh, dear. You poor child. In case I didn’t make it clear, I worked in a department that had/has upwards of a thousand officers covering a large city containing a wide range of neighborhoods/demographics. And every patrol officer in that department handled the same type of situations I did. Even beyond that, I knew many officers in other surrounding departments who handled the same types of situations I did. But, again, what the fuck could I possibly know about Domestic Violence? 
Edit to add: By the way, I am not talking about “the whole world”. I am speaking strictly about what I know in regards to here in the U.S. As far as the rest of the world, I have ZERO knowledge of how the police around the globe handle their business.
And, again, as I’ve stated, most victims, especially male victims, do not report it; I certainly never reported anything that happened to me. And I mean of DV.
My wife had it worse. But she made good decisions and avoided the wrong “crowd”, went on to university, worked her ass of, and earned a PhD and two Masters.
From your life story (and I truly do feel pain hearing it) you are hanging with people who are a cancer on your future.
If anyone, ANYONE abuses you in any way, walk away, never see them for the rest of your life.
If a “boyfriend” is rough, he is not a boyfriend, he is someone you need to distance yourself from, immediately.
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Well, I’m glad she got away.
Well, I currently can’t get away from them, as I have no place to turn, but yeah, I’ll try.
Yeah, I guess.
With one of the boyfriends, we’d lash out at each, both initiating it at different times, but about equally. We stayed together, however. It’s possible that since both of us were being abused by our families (his mother did HORRIBLE physical abuse which left scars, and would also do mental/emotional abuse, etc., though I don’t think she did financial or sexual), we understood that, and so we stayed together, because we understood the other’s pain, even if we could, and did, get in occasional fights that, if turned violent, probably wouldn’t have worked out for me since he is strong and I’m super weak lol. We’re no longer together - only because I wasn’t able to reach him for 4 months - but I’d say we’re still friends.
data != science
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I suppose I was a victim of DV for like 3 seconds once. And no I didn’t report it.
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@Drew Your story is one that I wish you have not experienced. I am not you, I do not know your life or what you experience today. But I sincerely hope you break away from this life where abuse and violence simmers below the surface and is part of your life.
For myself, even though I am rather large and lived most of my life as a construction worker and am reasonably capable in a tough situation, I abhor violence and abuse. Even today, when I recognize anything abusive from another, I break contact. It doesn’t matter who they are and how sweet their words are.
I do not attempt to negotiate with them or ask them to stop their nonsense, I walk away.
And my life is much better without them or any abuse.
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Oh, when I can, I will.
My mom believes that bigger guys tend to be softer than other people in general, so it depends on who you ask that views it differently.
Personal, I don’t think bigger guys are more or less violent, but I would lean towards less violent, since they’re bigger; they might have a better understanding of what they can do because of the physical difference, but I’m not sure. Just a theory.
Sorry for my rambling on this, but you reminded me of it.
Well, I’m glad. It’s a good thing you escape them, and can.
Oh, that might be my problem then. I tend to try to negotiate or to get them to stop.
I’m glad.
Maybe I should try that, when I can.
Except I did one time, now that I think of it.
My friends were treating me like trash, I left them. They apologized and I ended up being their friend again. I think I failed lol.
And you get data from studies.
