The holidays can be rough for closeted atheist folks who are surrounded by theists. This link provides some handy advice from Godless Mom.
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My family have known that I’m an atheist for decades, and that that’s the reason I don’t participate in their x-mas celebrations. After today, Thanksgiving, it’s my least favorite time of the year, and can’t wait for it to be over with.
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Have you anything useful to add to help folks who might be struggling right now?
I don’t have much of a problem with holidays, as there’s nothing wrong with celebrating family togetherness, universal love, kindness, and charity.
I have no problem celebrating these things, also having fun, eating . . . this is all common ground with religious people.
Religion doesn’t have to get in the way.
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That’s pretty much how I see it, time off work spent with family, eating, drinking and being happy, what’s not to like.
My nephew and his girlfriend are bring their new baby over as well, I haven’t seen her yet.
Exactly, it doesn’t for me. Some of the family are theists, and others are not. It doesn’t really come up tbh.
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I am newly atheist and my in laws are deeply religious. No one knows my doubts but my husband. But I let them have their prayers before meals and they can talk about religion if they want. I just stay quiet and otherwise much enjoy the company, food and togetherness. I just ignore their bible based stuff.
My father is only nominally religious and my siblings aren’t at all so that makes it easy on my side of the family.
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My main problems with christmas can be summed up as:
- the extreme commercialisation and ultra-consumerism
- the expectation that people get together and celebrate in a certain way. If you don’t, you are “weird”
- you’re expected to enjoy whatever festivities and celebrational norms the collective society throw at you
- Tradition trumps individuality: although the religious meaning of christmas has been thoroughly watered out over the years where I live, there is still the christian fariy tale as the basis of it all, and if you protest against it, you are “weird”. Even here.
- the kids have been conditioned by society to accept christmas as the festive culmination of the entire year, so as to not be “cruel” to them, I am forced to conform.
Like others here, I certainly do not mind a few days off from work and to spend time with my family to enjoy good food and drinks, and to have a bit of fun. But the total framework of christmas (especially the extreme commercialisation) makes me dislike this season. Over the years, I have come to dislike christmas earlier and earlier in the autumn, starting when the shops start to sell shitty christmas decorations.
Bah, humbug!
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Interesting but not something I can really relate to. Outside of school (Catholic) and my late father, who died in the mid-80s, no one has given me a hard time about being an atheist. Outside of the odd t-shirt and my inverted cross, I don’t throw it in people’s faces and only get “angsty” when someone has a go and I can’t remember the last time that happened… even the flat Earther we met didn’t have a go about my lack of faith.
I think the UK (and Europe) is a lot more laid back than a lot of Americans in this respect.
UK Atheist
I’m glad you can’t relate to the Godless Mom advice! It means things are improving in some places for folks who don’t have any gods.
I think you’re right about a lot of areas in the U.S. There are also many other countries in which atheists are persona non grata. Providing folks in tough situations with helpful hints on getting through them sure can be beneficial until those places catch up with the more civilized ones.
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I’m certainly not closeted. I am writing a book that refutes the apologetics theists use and serializes the chapters on Medium. I post a notice and link to each new chapter when it is published. But I respond politely to Christians if they wish me a merry Christmas. I’ll openly explain that I am not a believer if they try to expound on Jesus being the reason for the season. The truth is Christians adopted the Yule celebrations of Europe.
Couple that with obligatory generosity and the same very few songs playing everywhere (at least here in the States) and you’ve got my reasons for being a Christmas stick in the mud.
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