M being an agnostic atheist since last 5 years the only thing I believe in is humanity… But after handling so many problems in these years now it feels like believing in some positive thinking and positive Vibes and all atleast which can give me a positive Nd good path for my life…I am not sure how it iz different than believing in any religion and If I dont believe in any positive source will my life get a positive path???
How long should I fight this… Amd how should I deal with this??
Why do you need to believe in something?
Good and bad things happens to people whether they believe in something or not.
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I know, it’s almost childlike to form beliefs to try and combat irrational fears. just because reality can sometimes cause fear, does not mean I should form beliefs devolved from that reality to allay those fears.
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Howdy, Aditya. Welcome to the AR. To expand a bit on what Mr.Dawn and Sheldon have already stated, what makes you think forming some sort of “belief” will make your life any more or any less positive? Life is life. Has its good days. Has its bad days. Simple as that. Happens to everybody, everywhere, all the time. Anybody who thinks/believes that life should be totally without stress/worry/hard times in order to be fully happy is living in a world of delusion. Bad things are going to happen in your life. You will have hard times. You will have absolutely miserable times. You will have times when you start to wonder, “How the hell will I ever get through this?” Goes with the territory of living. Then you will have times when wonderfully delightful things will happen, but then unexpectedly get offset by some minor or major negative incident. No “belief system” is going to change any of that.
Bottom line, in my humble opinion, YOU are totally responsible for how happy or “positive” your life is. YOU are in charge of what “path(s)” you choose. Nobody else is responsible for making your life happy or positive. Even under the absolute worst of conditions, you can choose whether or not you are happy and/or have a positive attitude. Having been deployed three times in combat zones, I have experienced this personally. Sometimes I did okay and maintained a healthy attitude during adverse conditions. Other times I gave in to the misery and allowed myself to have a “woe is me” attitude. As a result of those moments of negative attitude, I ended up being even MORE miserable than was necessary. Basically, sometimes you just have to grind your teeth, tuck your chin down, and just plow through a situation as best you can. Once you break through whatever “barrier” is causing the problem, then you go back to relaxing and being happy until the next “barrier” presents itself. See what I’m saying?
One last thing… Something important you may want to consider. You have apparently broken away from some form of religious indoctrination during the past five years. (Congratulations on that, by the way.) As such, you need to realize how lucky you are for being able to do that. I struggled with my Christian upbringing for over forty years of my life before I was able to finally chunk it in the trash where it belongs. However, many (most) people are never able to escape the brainwashing. Now, though, you are no longer controlled by whatever dogma you were fed from birth. You have seen “the MAN behind the curtain”. Therefore, you understand the “charade” of religion and how it is used to control the masses. That alone should give you some amount of peace of mind and joy, regardless of what life may throw at you. I know it certainly helps me cope with things now MUCH BETTER than I did in the past. Anyway, just my two cents. Hope it helps.
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Aditya
Stop fighting. The problems have always been there. The problems were there when you were a theist and simply blocked them from your mind because you pretended everything was in God’s hands. The problems are there if you tell yourself to be positive. The problems are there if you curse and yell at them. Your life is unique as are your problems. I would never profess to know what they are or how serious they are to you. What I do know, is that you can (In the words of Carlos Castaneda) ‘Stop the world.’ The Buddhists call it ‘mindfulness.’ Ouspenski called it ‘The Fourth Way,’ and there are a hundred other names for it.
In each and every case the realization is this, you are not your mind. Your mind is a tool. You use your mind in the same way you use your hands, your feet, or your mouth. You are not a slave to your mind and you are not a slave to your environment. There is nothing that happens in the environment ‘out there,’ that can influence what is going on ‘in here.’ (With that said; we conclude that some of our reactions to the world are justified. By this I mean, any human being in a similar situation might have a similar reaction. It does not change the fact that our reactions are choices. They are how we have learned to cope with the world.)
So, when I read your post, what I hear is, the skills you currently have are no longer working for the situation you find yourself facing. You are no longer able to 'turn things over to god. The problems of the world seem overwhelming. You are left alone to face them.
Stop Fighting. You can not have a tug of war if you don’t pick up your end of the rope. A positive source is not something you get from the world. It is not something you get from a belief system or a philosophy. There is a zen question. “What is the difference between a bird singing on a branch and a bird singing in a cage?” I have asked this of zen practitioners who seem to think they are free of worldly things, and yet they follow the 8-fold path, they seek the mythic nirvana, they spend hours in meditation, and they all pretend they are achieving something. The response to the question is; 'The size of the cage." They are just as trapped in all their traditions and mindfulness as anyone else. They are simply playing a game with themselves in a fairytale land of magical thinking. (A cage.)
So back to our situation. No. 1, you have always been in a cage. You are just now realizing it. No. 2. You have always been alone. Your eyes are opening to this fact. This is why it is so great to have a support system. This is also why religion sneaks its way into the lives of people. (Instant support system, as long as you stay in the cage.)
Atheism is setting that cage down and walking away from it. That is all. There is nothing else out there in the world for support. My suggestion to you is to look for some kind of emotional support in your area, wherever you are. Find a free thinkers group, a humanist group, spend time online with us, and share.
Will that help your problems go away? No. But you will not be ignoring them by turning them over to a God. You will have someone to talk to and perhaps some advice that you may want to consider.
Happiness and contentment are not things that are out there in the world. They are not things given to you by the actions of others or by life situations. They come from within you. They are a deep understanding and appreciation of the things you do have. Even if all you have are the clothes on your back, they serve as protection from the sun. Something is amazing about being alive and each breath we take in the vastness of all that is.
I don’t know how you will find your peace in this world. It may come from finding a convenient cage or it could come from the insight that we all live in cages and all the cages have their own sets of troubles and boundaries. Take a moment to take care of yourself. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for all the great things you have done. Take a moment to thank yourself for accomplishing the things you have accomplished. Then, like any good rider who has fallen from a bike, you get back on the bike, and continue the journey.
This is the journey… It is overwhelming at times. At times it sucks. At times we are alone. These are the times when we learn about ourselves, who we really are, and what the world really means to us. Please hang around and share your thoughts. There are a lot of great people on the site and many have been through their own bits of hell. You are among friends.
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