Nyar's incredibly jaded script for embarassing political canvassers 2020 (US elections)

I live in the US in a swing state. For those unfamiliar with US political terminology: (from my very jaded perspective) it means I live in a region where neither of the two major parties have managed to cheat sufficiently to guarantee the election results for either major party. Incredibly disproportionate amounts of campaign resources are directed at these few regions during elections (for obvious reasons). This translates to large numbers of campaign workers (political canvassers) going door to door to try to drum up support for their major party. They like to show up at dinner time, and are really annoying.

In the 2018 (US midterm) elections; I started writing a list of hard/nasty/underhanded questions to ask these political canvassers when they knock on my door; and it was lots of fun.

I don’t know if there will actually be canvassers this year do to the virus. But in case there is I want to be prepared. If anyone would like to give any suggestions, I’d love to have them!

I haven’t got much so far (I just stated on this season):

  1. Trick trivia questions:
    a. What year did Christopher Columbus discover the Americas?
  2. Shibboleth questions:
    a. Pronounce the word: “Nevada” (locals typically pronounce this word differently than non-locals).
    b. Pronounce the word: “Tonopah” (similar to above).
  3. Detailed questions about their candidates financial filings.
    a. I don’t have anything yet for this season.

eta: I might edit this list in the future.


“If you were a member of [the opposing political party], how would you characterize the party you are now campagning for?”

If an incumbent Republican … how did your candidate vote in the impeachment?

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In Colorado, they do mail in ballots, (you can still wait until November 4th and vote in person if you want.) They usually send them out in mid-august. You can vote as soon as you get it, and it goes into a public system that you already voted. The neighborhood canvas folks do not want to waste their time on people that already voted. Greatly minimizing the doorbell rings and especially the calls/texts.

Nevada is not so lucky, but if you want to minimize the door bell rings perhaps a sign that says you already mailed in your absentee ballot vote, (allowed in most states, especially with covid) might discourage most.

But like this thread states, where is the fun in that?

Hard questions I would ask:

Do you get paid to do this? (If no) Who cover’s your expenses, gas, car wear and tear, the tablet/paperwork?

Why should I vote for the guy that has enough money/support to do this, and not the candidates that do not have access to such funds?

Why should I vote for the small pre-selected (not by us!!) pool of candidates that is approved by one of the 2 major parties? (more of a primaries question, but still relevant in the general election.)

Why should I listen to your obviously biased reasoning? Instead of researching the relevant topics myself, and deciding for my self?

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty …

As a candidate, what is his position and plan to defeat Covid?

What is your candidate’s relationship with god?

Then let them stumble through a spiel that tries to cover all religious bases, before telling them you’re an atheist so you can listen to them trying to back out of it.

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Are you here just to spout your party’s philosophy, or are you here to solve the problems our nation has? If so, what are they. Please lay out the plans you have for fixing problems.