My epiphanies about God - God or cult (my own lived experience)

https://www.liveabout.com/haunted-by-black-cloaked-entity-2596482“God” (love) or cult?
– starves me
– has me entrapped in vicious cycle of abuse
– has aided and abetted misogyny and gender-based violence
– has me move around like a nomad as a “tool” to control and manipulate me
– justifies bad people and bad relationships
– has me living in a lie, a sham
– threatens me
– is degrading and demeaning
– violates my civil and human rights every day – denies my women’s rights and womenhood every day by violating my human rights
– has me live in less than ideal, safe conditions
– does not make me a better person
-cruel (unnecessarily)
– manipulates and controls me
– puts all issues and blames on me
– constantly makes me feel bad about myself
– condemns and criticizes me
– imposes an agenda down my throat 24/7
– hijacks my life/identity theft
uses me as a pawn/a vessel
– tries to steal my Life
– makes me feel like I’M IN A CULT
– doesn’t provide; expects me to pull stuff out of my ass
– provides false promises
– is violent

I don’t want to interact with a rapist!
This being is/has been engaging in a campaign of terror the last 4 years – simply terrorism! I’m scared of this evangelical monster…
I’m in a life and death situation, according to NOW (National Organization for Women) and other’s women’s organizations. I’m truly scared of this being…
This being is like a trafficker, exploitative and deranged! I’m running in the Goddamn opposite direction – stay away from this cult!
This being is an abject monster, a lunatic!
I’m dealing with a Satanic spirit or monster who rapes me every day and doesn’t make me feel like a human being by preventing my RIGHT to exercise my human rights! My life is in danger…

This being is a dark, sadistic Evil Motherfucker – a Goddamn Psycho who needs be in a mental hospital! It is Satanic and disgusting and gross…a fucking douchebag!

  • Has taken advantage and exploited traumatized person (woman);
  • Has aided and deliberately put a woman in a dangerous, unsafe situation;
  • Has aided and abetted gender-based violence;
  • Has deliberately deprived a woman of human rights and women’s rights (four years);
    Continues to threaten woman;
  • Agenda-driven;
    Perpetuates Evil through unnecessary misogyny;
    Retaliates with violence when I don’t “cooperate” with said Evil;
    Knowingly puts me in dangerous situation – life/death (NOW, Pro-Naral)
    Has knowingly put me in bondage
    Treats me like a prisoner
    Feel like I’m dealing with an abusive guardian
    Is trying to ruin a young girl’s Life
    This being is conflating my woman’s health, need for safety and the need to preserve my own Life with guilt, manipulation, insanity and cultish thinking
    Illogical
    A psychopath
    Causing RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome)
    Does not treat me asaperson but as an agenda — truly sick
    Does not treat me as an individual — sign of a cult
    IS NOT A GOD OF JUSTICE –> promotes injustice and knowingly promotes and abets gender-based violence and condones crimes against women
    Promotes racist thinking (Christian terrorist, extremist groups)
    Is an insane/violent freak
    I’m in a life and death situation, according to NOW (National Organization for Women) and other’s women’s organizations. I’m truly scared of this being…
    Stokes anxiety (deliberately)

When I got into this horrible mess and cesspool of a situation, I didn’t know that I had PTSD and RTS (Religious Trauma Syndrome) and this being was targeting my PTSD.
I learned from a Stanford talk that when a person has PTSD, that person cannot see the forest or the larger picture – that person can only see the tree in front of them.
This being has brainwashed, deceived and lied to me to get me to be in and prolong a situation that is a Crime against woman and is officially an unsafe, dangerous situation. This has been going on for the last 4 years (since 2014).
This situation should have ended in May 2014 as the person who is the perpetrator in this situation is a stranger, someone who has defrauded and committed gender-based violence against me and I don’t even know this person except for what he is telling me, which could be all lies.

In this dubious and sketchy situation, I turned to “God” because I thought he would help me, but he betrayed me, stabbed me in the back, has NOT had my back and has condoned this perpetrator/bad guy and has prolonged and abetted the gender-based violence, crime against women, exploitation, rape, trafficking, fraud, misogyny, and trauma.

If I don’t cooperate, this being has been threatening me with threats of retribution and has been continuing this bizarre, insane, unsafe, delusional, inhumane situation over and over, despite my continued requests and pleadings to STOP.

This being is a misogynist in disguise, a sociopath and a narcissist. Only a narcissist and a megalomaniac acts in this way, pretending over and over NOT to hear the victim, yet lying consistently that this being is a Savior and someone who saves and helps.

This being is a monster, based on my experience as a young girl, woman and human being.
It is time that this ridiculous, insane and public health/women’s health violation situation STOPS.

If you have any questions or want more details about this horrible situation that NO WOMAN or HUMAN BEING SHOULD GO THROUGH, please contact me (what this being and Christian evangelicals are promoting in this situation directly contradict the advice, behest and facts from the WHO, NOW – National Organization for Women, UN, UN Convention for Human Rights)
This being has consistently pinned the blame on me for the perpetrator’s and “God”s transgressions and has repeatedly sent the message that “I’m the one to blame” even though facts suggest that I am inherently vulnerable based on the fact that I am an woman.

Dark and cruel
Antichrist
Curse

Sinister
Please someone save me from this cult!

I really admire people like Condoleeza Rice or Susan Rice or other prominent feminists and can you even imagine someone forcing one of these women to be with a vocational high school dropout perpetrator out of a f*cking misplaced sense of “religious tradition” or the Evil Banality of Systematic Misogyny. Let’s say that in the abortion debate, if a fetus is a person – can I ignore, sue, deny, reject, cut off, become estranged from, alienate and protect myself from, fight with, pretend it doesn’t exist, etc?

Photo0076 (1) picture of me bleeding at the lips from the stress of this situation (it’s been this way for the past 1.5 years)

I just wanted to add a bit of context:

The misogyny of the last 5 years
In the beginning, it started with lies. I was forced to accept lies and things that just weren’t true. I wasn’t interested, but the guy persisted. I felr pressured, while I was there. to let go of things that were important to me - who I wanted for a partner, whom I thought was acceptable, what I wanted in a partner, even my way of speech (speaking honestly)
Then my boundaries started getting blurred. Normally I wouldn’t let those boundaries get blurred, but I was vulnerable and those boundaries started slipping one by one.
I was starting to get brainwashed.
Then, the pressures started. I didn’t want rides, but my mom forced me to accept rides. Then it started to go downhill from there, in terms of my boundaries getting blurred.
In terms of religion, God seemed to pressure me to associate and be in some kind of a relationship with this guy. There were red flags and i thought it was strange that someone would pressure me to do anything especially regarding a person but again, I was vulnerable. I wanted to say NO on multiple occasions BUT this being won’t let me. I felt like I had to put up with things that I wouldn’t put up with from anyone else for the sake of religion and this being who ha s a penchant for violence and misogyny.

It is scary that I’m speaking out about this but it’s time that this ABUSE STOPS! (t’s been 4 years) I’ve been bleeding too much for this, more than what Jesus bled…I’ve been taking Propanolol which is a memory pill to help forget this abuse and rape and traumatic experience, but one of the side effects is the risk of heart failure. Obviously, this horrible situation is having an adverse effect on my physical health…as a young woman (I was in my 30s when this happened…), I’m scared.

Welcome to Atheist Republic iriss7480. You are among friends and like-minded people in here.

I agree with almost everything you stated in your post.

Please remember, you are not alone and have support in here.

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OR

(at the end of your video link…”haunted by black cloaked entity)

I have not watched the video.

Could you please clarify your situation. Are you speaking of a husband (arranged marriage), or a commune, or an Incubus, etc.

Regardless, you are obviously coming to the realization that you are a person with human rights that deserves protection and recognition.

Edited to add:
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/the-belief-that-demons-have-sex-with-humans-runs-deep-in-christian-and-jewish-traditions-143589

My reference to Incubus is sincere (not sarcastic) as these ideas have hold in many religious traditions.

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Is there such a thing as looking for help in all the wrong places? Try sending a PM to one of the mods or someone you feel like you might trust and have them check around for some community services they can put you in contact with.

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Welcome iriss

That missive has left me confused. Partly because I don’t know you and am not a trained psychologist or psychiatrist.

Above all else, I urge you to seek professional help if that is at all possible. I don’t know where you live or what help is available to you. Eg Here in Australia I’d present yourself at your local public hospital emergency (it’s free here)

From your post it’s impossible for me understand your problems or to tell if you are rational enough to understand what’s wrong, what you want and what you are able/willing to do.

It would help if you could explain ,in bullet form if necessary, what you se as THE’ problem(s), what you want and what you can actually do. Eg can you physically leave ?

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