Not today, but I have, and it wasn’t that long ago.
I empathise with your feelings and am concerned as I remember my state of mind at the time.
Perhaps I was just lucky. I sought and accepted the help I needed to not kill myself. Found a good psychiatrist. Yes, psychotropic drugs to stabilise. Followed by therapy , mainly with a psychologist who uses cognitive therapy.
I can’t assume your mental state is the same as mine was, nor that you would respond the same way to therapy. I can only tell you how it was for me and how I came out the other side.
Agreed, whenever I see a pile of burning books I’m horrified, regardless of what’s in them.
It’s a selfish act of violent censorship, and to me it suggests the people doing it would rather use force or violence to silence others, rather than reason.
A good rule of thumb here as elsewhere, if the Nazis did it, do consider the company you’re keeping before you do it.
The time to worry is not when all you hear are contrary opinions, but when all opinions are the same, as that indicates the death of free expression.
I think of book burning and I think of the Library at Alexandria. Imagine what information the world could have today. What would it have meant to science, industry, or even religion. What was possibly there that we no longer have. One of the most remarkable events in history.
Don’t want to give the wrong impression. The chronic depression I’ve experienced is not so much beaten as managed. I still take a cocktail of psychotropic drugs. Without them I go ratty within a week.
My point to you is that your feelings will pass. However, you may need some help to begin with.
A caveat: When a person is in the kind of state you describe, they are not usually rational .It’s common to see oneself as having only two choices of what to do. This is seldom correct.