Uh, wait… 
Are you saying the cow has no legs and the milker no arms? Or…
The cow is normal, but the person doing the milking has no arms or legs? Or…
The COW has no arms or legs? (If so, then where the hell are all the cows WITH arms?)
Granted, either of those scenarios forms a fantastic mental picture. Just wanted clarification.
(Oh, by the way, what is the airspeed velocity of a tit-laden butterfly?)
It depends on the cup size. Damn, do I have to explain everything!
Like a giant door stop?
Or a cock ring…? :rofl
Holy shit! Imagine the size of that cock! 
You guys have no idea what is going on in the world of cows. Always make sure a cow has no arms when you approach it. Not to do so could cost you your life. Cows are fighting back.
Speaking of “Things” A 7up salesman was treckking throught the Amazon forests when he was beset upon by a tribe of “cunning runts” (A reference to another joke that I will not tell.) This tribe of pigmy’s grabbed the 7up salesman and all his bottles of 7up. They took him back to their camp. They poured the 7up into a huge caldron, started a fien under it and then they began to lower the 7up salesman into the bubbling fizzy drink. They lowered and lowered. The 7up in the cladron got hotter and hotter. They lowered some more. In fact, they lowered every part of that salesman into the boiling caldron of 7up except for his thing. There he was, just bubbleing away and only his thing remaind above the hot boiling liquid. And the cooked him. All of him. Well, all of him, except for his thing. You know whay?
Things go better with Coke.
Learn to pair new information with information you already know. (The “Roman Room” is a great device for increasing one’s memory.)
Understand the difference and utility of a link system vs. a tag system for memorizing materials. If you know nothing about “Mnemonics,” do yourself a big favor and learn how your brain actually retains information. This can save you endless hours of study.
The brain automatically remembers strange, unusual, traumatic, or weird events. It does not know the difference between a real event and one you create when it comes to memory. Remember by making the things you need to remember, bizarre, strange, and unusual.
Incorporate as many senses into the learning process as you can. Taste, touch, smell, sight, sound, balance, time, distance, etc… The more senses you can involve the quicker you will remember.
Increase your study speed significantly by studying only the information you need to study. (Don’t waste time going over information you already know.) (This is HOW, you test yourself a lot. Only test yourself on information you do not know.) Give yourself a test. Mark all the questions you get correct as “Known,” and stop studying them over and over again. Only study questions you get wrong. Test yourself again and do the same thing. Only study information you need to study.
Avoid long hours of study. Break your study time up into short 30 minute segments. (This is how you 'chunk" your study) Some recommend 15 minutes (I find this difficult to do.) Typically a person will remember the very first thing studied and the last thing studied. Studying for shorter periods will take advantage of this fact. You can remember more, faster, by studying less.
All that stuff about a comfortable space, quiet, no distractions, etc… Not necessary! (This is HOW, you change the way you study.) With a Mnemonic device like, “The Roman Room” you can study anyplace. I did some of my best work standing in line at the supermarket. Seriously, knowing how to study is everything. As you stand in the line at the supermarket, visualize yourself screaming out the information you want to remember. This is every bit as powerful as, “saying it out loud.”
Have fun. (This is HOW, you change the way you study.) If you are not being creative and having fun, you are doing it wrong. Know clearly why you are studying and what your goal is. Nothing can affect your motivation like a concrete and clear goal.
Pat yourself on the back for the things you are remembering. Don’t beat yourself up for not remembering something. Be flexible, approach it a different way. (Find a way to make it MORE MEMORABLE) Avoid the 'Washing Machine Principle." This would be the same as copying the answer 100 times. Doing the same thing over and over and over again while expecting a different result is a symptom of insanity.
Give a monkey a banana. It’s good luck and it will make all your guesses correct.
When I was going to college for my electrical apprenticeship, I took it very seriously. I took copious notes, and every evening I set myself down for many hours of serious homework. I would review that day’s lesson plan, my notes, and go through each item one at a time, and never moved on until I had a very firm understand on what was imparted to me that day.
Sometimes my evening’s homework was just a little over an hour, sometimes it went long into the night. But I made sure that what was taught to me that day was firmly understood. I am pretty sure that the day I was taught Kirchhoff’s circuit laws I pulled an all-nighter.
When exam time rolled around, I did little study because of my preparation and my final score at end of my college time was a GPA of 4.0
Sooooo… You’re saying that my sleeping with a book under my pillow is NOT the best way to learn? … Hmmm… 
… Well, I suppose that does explain why I failed all those Literature tests. (And the chronic neck pain.) Damn. And here I was all this time thinking I was being more effecient by learning as I slept.
Only if it’s the Bible. Then you will learn it by heart through a process similar to osmosis. Or you could achieve the same effect by staying creepily close to a priest for an extended period of time.
You mean I should sleep with a PRIEST under my pillow? Seems that would just make my neck pain worse. And what if he snores? I’d never get any rest.
So you’re saying you WANT to learn the Bible by heart? In that case, yes. Choose your priest from whatever denomination you prefer, and sleep on (not with) him. Neck pain is a sign that you’re learning by osmosis. As for the snoring, just try to snore louder than the priest.
You mean he has been lying to me about the magic white juice? All I had to do was sleep?
Ok listen up, remembering stuff is easy, all you have to do is forget everything after the thing you want to remember. I have found getting fucked up is pretty handy here. So about 2 hours or less, before the thing I want to remember no more though, I start drinking.
Sure enough the only thing I have a vivid memory of, is those 2 hours, works everytime.
A word of warning this kind of infallible memory recall causes a massive headache and dry mouth, who knows why, but it passes anyway.
You’re welcome…
I use the very same technique, however I do find that the varietal affects the exact amount of memory loss.
Rose? very little memory loss, but a nasty headache.
Pinot Noir requires at least 1.25L for the effect but not a bad morning after.
Tempranillo…1.25L, ok in the AM. But memory can be patchy
Shiraz: 1L or less (depending on quality) does the trick. Any more and I can forget anything.
Grenache: a solid Grenache or GSM 750ML and I am so relaxed,…sorry remember what? Do I care?
Cabernet Sauvignon: a rich deep quality wine…frangible on the tastebuds and gives a deep water of Leith effect if the better part of 750Ml is consumed with a decent pile of meat and veg. No memory of the previous 18 hours except the warmth generated by the beauticious red ambrosia. .
I read about atheism and religion about 5 years ago, then, within a few months, I changed my views to atheistic diametrically over the next few years and only strengthened myself in it
Uhhhh… I’m confused. What are “atheistic views”? Also, how does one go about “strengthening” their atheism?
Damn Tin!! You stole my question!
