Is the New Testament made up?

Sorry fellas. Anything for attention with this guy. But, you know … Satan needs love too. Let’s give it up for the Devil!

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We should. You’re making god claims by claiming that the bible is evidence. The bible is just a claim. Your beloved holy book is plagued with contradictions and plot holes.

So with that being said. You have a burden of proof. What objective evidence can you demonstrate for the existence of any deity?

Opera Snapshot_2022-09-23_121947_www.google.com

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I can write a novel about anything and quote names and places etc and it can all be true.
The point here is, is this jesus character real.
No. Its complete rubbish and there’s no reason to believe he ever existed.

That said, in my opinion, both testaments and anything else religious relating to some stupid god can be thrown out.

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So we can keep all the stuff belonging to the smart Gods. I fully agree. There is so much good advice in the bible that we shouldn’t just throw it all away.

Like Deformed People: Aren’t they fucking CREEPY. Look at that fucking warty point on top of Tin Man’s head. The only reason he is an Atheist is because (No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God." (Leviticus 21:18-21) We should just be able to kill off all the ugly people, the deformed, and their families. Selective breeding works on dogs, why don’t we wake up to God’s plan and make this world a more beautiful place?

Then there is my favorite bible verse: If a woman grabs you by the secrets, in a bad way, cut that bitches hands off. Damn fucking straight. The Bible is 100% accurate on this account. Have you ever had your secrets grabbed in a bad way? It’s not much fun. And the cops wouldn’t even arrest the bitch. They told me I shouldn’t have been dangling my secrets from my own fucking banana tree. It’s my damn tree and I will dangle my secrets if I like. Ohhh! If I only had a ceremonial Sgian Dubh (“When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets: Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.” (Deuteronomy 25:11-12)

Another great thing to hold onto is the law prohibiting wanton women from promiscuously tempting men with their libidinous ways and unscrupulous natures. Any woman who is not a virgin should be stoned to death. The whore deserves it for opening up her legs. “But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.” (Deuteronomy 22: 20-21) One of the most intelligent Biblical quotes I can think of.

Oh! Oh! Right next to this one. What if you give birth to a girl? Oh Fuck, how sickening. If you can’t get her married off and find a man to chain her to the kitchen before she becomes a wanton hussy, you have to kill her. That is reason enough to make a woman unclean for 66 days after giving birth to a female. Disgusting! Unclean! Vile! Sinful, just like the mother of all sin, that bitch EVE, who fucked us all over. The Bible got this one RIGHT! But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days." (Leviticus 12:5)

Another verse that is spot on, 100% on the mark, and should be implemented as the law of the land; well, after we kill all the whores and ugly people, is to force anyone remaining to eat their own fucking children if they violate God’s law. It makes perfect sense. How else are we going to keep people in line? You fuck up, you eat your own damn children. ‘THAT’S HOW!’ If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, 28 then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. 29 You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters."(Leviticus 26:27-30)

Another Great Biblical passage to remember is that if your brother dies, you get to fuck his wife. Well, you can fuck her or kill her for not being a virgin depending on how hot she is. Some verses are open to interpretation. If my brother died, I would bend that hot bitch over … um… TMI. Banging your brother’s wife should always be an option in my opinion. It just makes good sense… And have you seen my fucking brother’s wife… Hubba Hubba Hubba… I hope that bastard dies of a heart attack soon! “Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man’s brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.” (Mark 12:19)

So much good advice… where should we go next? I’ve got it. Kill all the fucking bastards. Those children of the wanton women who men had their jollies with and then departed from their company like a rat out of an aqueduct. They don’t deserve to live any more than their hedonistic mothers, as previously discussed. We want a pure world with good-looking, whole, healthy, God-fearing, people around us. No whores and none of their children; those bastards. A bitched shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:2)

So, let’s see… We have killed off all the whores, the bastards, deformed people, anyone who grabs your test… um… secret parts, not in a nice way, and we are going to take care of out brother’s wife, one way or another. What’s next? What stands out as ‘Stellar Advice?" I know! Kill our fucking kids if they talk back to us. That is one of the smartest things we could possibly do as parents. “Bedtime is 9PM.” But dad… Fuck you, you little shit. Get in that fucking bed or I will drag you to the edge of town and shove a fucking rock down your throat from thirty feet away. "That will fix that fucking back talk.’ The Bible is just loaded with fantastic advice. “For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.” (Leviticus 20:9)

Just a few more general rules that we should observe:
“I permit no woman to teach or have authority over men; she is to keep silent.” Timothy 2:11 Keep that woman in her place… burn all the rolling pins… (Do you guys think White will read this?) Oh fuck… I’m going to catch hell when I leave Korea.

Another great piece of advice: "If you steal something, cut off your hand.’ Of course, then we would have to kill you for being deformed. (See above.) It’s only reasonable that you should end your own life if you steal something. But if you don’t have the balls to step up and be a man, just cut off your hand, we will know you have stolen something and then we will end your life for you. It’s all Biblical; '“And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched.” (Mark 9:43)

Okay, This is getting long; here are some honorable mentions that just make good sense:

“And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.” (Matthew 5:40)

Invite your attacker to beat you some more: “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (Matthew 5:39)

Don’t worry. Be happy! “Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.” (Psalm 137:9)


This next one comes in several parts:
“Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke [reason with] thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him. Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.” (Leviticus 19: 17-18)

Leviticus 20:13
“If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have
committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.”

Exodus 22:18-31
18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

19 Whosoever lieth with a beast shall surely be put to death.

20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the Lord only, he shall be utterly destroyed.


AND: No intercourse During A Woman’s Period (Very important to remember.)
…thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness." (Leviticus 18:19)

Bobthedog and I are on the exact same page. Get rid of the fucking stupid Gods so that we can follow Intelligent and Well-Reasoned biblical Verses. 100 agrees!!!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER
Matthew 5:17 (“Do not think that I have come to abolish Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”).

Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

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You know what, Bob. It’s a free country. So BY ALL MEANS why don’t you? Write that novel? Why? Who? Who? What am I? AFUCKINGOWL :owl:?

Fucking pacifists! Phhuh!!! Phuey!!! Fuck that! I’ll keep my God Damn cloak. Fucking Jesus. No wonder they hung him on that stick. Good riddance to old rubbish.

Hey guess what? We’re going to court? Guess what I’m gunna fucking sue thee for? Yeah. That’s right. Your COAT! I’ve had my eye on that coat ALL DAY. Get ready to lose your fucking coat you god Damn heethan!

Fucking Luke would be rolling in his grave right now.

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Verily, an elephantine list of superb holy book guidance!

I might inject a patent and obviously applicable omission from the inventory…

“And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’s den.” (Isaiah 11:8)

The totality of human knowledge shall produce an example of no more solid guidance to parents than this. And cockatrices are real. Because Bible says so.

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Ummmmm… Errr-uhhh… Soooo, uh, does that mean I SHOULDN’T be proudly wearing my “Blood Wings” badge out in public?

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Hmmm… Only if I get to do the pinning.

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Aw HELL naw! Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to hide that hammer behind your back.

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Regarding your points about Biblical literalism . . . in 1897, a bill was introduced in the Indiana legislature to make pi (the ratio of a circle’s diameter to it’s circumfrence) exactly equal to 3 (instead of 3.14159265358979323 . . . ) in order to align with a Biblical value regarding a "molten sea, round in compass . . . "

This nonsense seems very reminiscent of laws about discussing legally taboo subjects in classrooms (“Don’t say gay laws”), and banned books that “harm” children who read them.

If we go back a little further, it was considered sacreligious to put lightning rods on church steeples. In Brescia, Italy, the church was the safest place to store all the gunpowder, as God would never hit that church with lightning since the people of Brescia were especially pious.

When this church was hit with lightning and caught fire, the explosion of almost 100 metric tonnes of gunpowder killed over 2,000 people, and destroyed almost 20% of the town.

Will people never fucking learn?

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That statement may be an accurate indictment/confirmation for many people.

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image
I forgot to mention that the story about the Indiana legislature trying to craft laws about the value of pi is recounted in a beautiful book called A History of Pi that was written by Petr Beckmann in 1970.

It looks like young Dan has run out of distractions and claims.

Or will he do the apologists thing and come back saying sorry but he was just sooo busy. I have heard that one so many times when in reality, having run out of arguments they are fruitlessly emailing on line pastors or their College professors ( Christian College of course) to find other straw men, red herrings and historical mumphery to waste our time here.

On the minus side I miss having a new chew toy even though it does lose its flavor after a few posts.

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I do hope the responses created a bit of doubt in his mind. I never hope that what happens in here can change anyone’s mind, but maybe a crack in the dam …

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Then don’t you think it is time to start paying attention to it? You need independent attestation to each one of the miraculous acts of the bible and to the existence of this Jesus fellow and you have NONE. The Bible is the claim. It was written by religious zealots interested in perpetuating their religion and glorifying their own interests. If you are going to make any headway at all, you will need independent verification. The Bible cannot validate The Bible. There is absolutely nothing more you can say in this regard. You can NOT use the bible as evidence for the Bible.

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Welcome to Atheist Republic rebel11

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Hmmm. Actually it can. Providing we accept the first premise. ‘The bible is the word of god.’ Validity is different than soundness. If you accept the premise and the conclusion naturally follows, you must accept the conclusion or you are being irrational.
Elizabeth owns either a Honda or a Saturn. (She actually owns a Ford but if you accept this as true you must accept the conclusion as being ‘valid.’ ) The conclusion is not 'Sound."
Elizabeth does not own a Honda.
Therefore, Elizabeth owns a Saturn.

Soundness is the truth of a claim. We can reject the claim that Elizabeth owns either one or the other as we do not see how all other brands of cars have been ruled out. We reject the premise.

Just thought I woud be pedantic.

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Welcome to AR, redbull11

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I don’t doubt that Jesus existed . . . but I believe that embellishment upon embellishment can turn a real person into a mythical character in gradual stages.

As an example from America, consider the legendary folk hero John Henry. He was an African American man who defeated a steam powered railroad track-laying machine, only to drop dead when his heart gave out.

Note that this story seems to have a basis in fact, as there seem to be records of a convict named John W. Henry (who died young from lung problems related to silicosis) who worked on railroad tracks, but no one can find records of the contest, no one can agree which tunnel where this supposed contest took place, and no one can agree where he is buried.

Here is where I get to my point: John Henry was supposedly born in 1848, and this contest supposedly took place shortly after the Civil War, yet historians can’t agree on any of the important details, or even if this contest took place. Many experts on the subject even doubt that John Henry ever existed.

This ambiguity exists despite happening in fairly recent times . . . with widespread literacy, writing, photography, record-keeping, and so forth. In the 1920s -1940s, historians were even able to talk with people who would have been contemporary witnesses, yet there has been no confirmation of Henry’s existence.

How much more should we be skeptical of the Gospels as an example of historical truth?

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