when you’re alive, you feel all sorts of things including pain. and it’s not like you asked for that pain. That pain is caused by other people, your body, and your own mind.
pain is perceived through your brain and nerves.
when you die, this brain and nerves enter a state where there is no evidence that they can perceive pain or anything at all.
so is it better to feel pain or to feel nothing at all?
To me this question is embodied by the saying “it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all”.
Personally I think that’s debatable. Love and loss are flip sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other, except perhaps in the rare special case where you precede a lifelong partner in death, and then you have the knowledge that you’re inflicting that loss on THEM.
This may partly explain the popularity of pets. They let us experience a simplified form of love at a lower amplitude along with the inevitable loss. It’s a form of practice for the bigger attachments and tearings-away.
What I have found is that even when you properly integrate various losses into your “new normal” such that it doesn’t totally define you, each unit of suffering still diminishes you a little, and the effect is cumulative.
This then leads us to the question of “whether to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”. I don’t think there’s a universal answer to that one. I have managed to land in a place where I am enjoying the present moment (even hugely at times) and am able to largely protect my peace as I enter the final glide path, but I’m not sure it has been worth the grief / sorrow / pain / dissapointment along the way. I never know whether to laugh or cry when I think about the totality of it. I just blow it off as a sunk cost and concentrate on the present.
Apparently this is what most people do in some form or other or most wouldn’t survive into old age. There is also the instinctive fear of death / will to live and the phenomenon of “hope springs eternal” to “triumph over experience”.
And of course there’s the concept of “no pain, no gain” which is a little different but suggests one must be ever out of their comfort zone to experience growth / progress. This involves risk, which involves pain sometimes.
An optimist would likely say, “embrace all of life, the good, bad & ugly, and forward into the breach”. A pessimist would say, “fuck this shit”. The two have always battled it out inside me.
I have noticed one aspect of psychological trauma that I’ve observed in both my wife and myself, which is that sometimes the brain just disconnects from pain as a coping mechanism. I can’t access detailed memories of the living hell that was my first marriage anymore, and am content to leave it that way. My wife found herself overall emotionally numb for years after a massive betrayal by her father. So sometimes the decision about whether it’s better to feel pain or not, is made for you and you almost have to claw your way back to being capable of the full range of feeling states, or even to possess your own memories. Assuming you choose to. But here’s the kicker: it seem you can’t choose to be impervious to negative feelings without also to a significant degree, damping your positive feelings. The volume control on feelings isn’t selective. So ultimately if you want to be / feel fully human you have to let the feelings – all of them – back in. And from this perspective, it IS better to feel pain rather than be numb. To accept all of what life brings is to fully be yourself – despite any pain.
This seems like a false dichotomy, IMHO.
What extent or frequency of pain? Is there anything else available to manage or mitigate the pain? Is there anyone available who understands how the pain feeler feels and knows how to help?
So much complexity.
And subjectivity. Track down someone with CIP ask what their answer to this question is.
That depends on the degree, type, and duration of the pain.
For instance, I have lived with disabling chronic physical pain for decades. One of the causes of that pain is a progressive condition. Over the years, I’ve been on various medications, some helped, some helped for a while then stopped, some didn’t help at all.
Most of these medications are incredibly expensive, many thousands of dollars per month. I’ve been fortunate enough to have insurance that pays some of that and the balance, up until recently, was covered by assistance programs thru the drug manufacturers. I’m no longer eligible for those assistance programs because, after stalling as long as possible, I recently got onto Medicare. So now medical insurance premiums and co-pays take half my monthly Social Security payments.
The current medication combo I’m on is keeping the pain at bay. It’s not gone, but it is tolerable. These meds are a big trade off as they have some serious risks associated with them. Additionally, I’ve had to make some big lifestyle changes because of their peripheral effects.
And so far, I find being on the planet still worth it. That being said, I have grown to understand and accept that this may not last. The disease will progress, the meds may fail, the pain may become intolerable.
So I guess what I’m ultimately trying to say is that the decision about the worth of being on the planet is one made repeatedly. Your question is, as @Bluedoc so wisely counseled, both subjective and complex…and I’ll add, profoundly mutable.
Its better not to feel pain.
To be wholly honest, I would rather feel the pain for it alerts me I am pushing my previously broken back too far.
Franklin
There’s a physical malady called Fibromyalgia which has been found to involve a much-heightened sensitivity to physical pain. There’s a non-narcotic medication that’s been put forward to turn that particular knob down. Now it’s gaining traction to just give to the elderly for their general aches and pains. I have chronic low back pain caused by me falling a few years ago on my tailbone on concrete, resulting in my L5 vertebra being jogged a bit out of place relative to its neighbors. My GP wants to give me this drug and I’m hesitant in part by just the point you make: am I in some sense less alive / plugged into reality by turning that knob? If medical science has nothing else to offer I may take them up, after I’ve researched side effects and such, or I may wait until I’m more decrepit. Not sure yet. I’ve been told I’ll still have pain, just not as grinding. But everything comes at a price. Often the price is not obvious.
Surely we can simply separate pain into necessary and unnecessary, rendering preference moot? Or is the OP asking about hypothetical realities where no pain is necessary, in which case a whole raft of questions would be needed for me to qualify what I am experiencing.
Yeah… I was diagnosed with fibro just three years ago. Lyrica is the only pain reliever I take. Reason: I WANT to feel when I have pushed me self too far. I do not want to kill the pain; else I could snap me back and become paraplegic (?msp).
Besides, I am what I call an ancient old fart, AND I am also caring for me mom in her final years. Since me family was murdered (decades ago), I moved me mom in when she began having too many problems so it would be easier to care for her instead of hiring in-home care.
Otherwise, if me joints hurt due to swelling, I take naproxen.
Franklin
Thanks. I don’t recall if he was pushing Cymbalta or Lyrica but will be pondering that decision soon. I tolerate Ibuprofen really well for inflammation but Naproxen is probably something I should research.
I was sole caregiver for my previous / late wife for several years so I know about that role. It can be tough. You’re a good son, lad! In contrast to my step daughter who once pleaded with her Mom not to expect her to care for her in her old age. She seems to be slowly maturing but I’d prefer not to know that she ever said that.
Naproxen 
My stomach does not tolerate Naproxen at all, it gives me extreme abdominal pain that is much worse than the pain it is supposed to relieve. My go tos are therefore Ibuprofen and Paracetamol (Tylenol for you 
ians).
I had a similar experience with Naproxen, and have learned to limit my use of pain killers, as again the pain from them aggravating my diverticulitis is easily as bad as the worst pain I get from my back.
To feel nothing at all.
People with severe forms of congenital insensitivity to pain (CIP)—particularly Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis (CIPA)—often have a significantly shorter life expectancy and are at risk of dying young.
Pain acts as a vital alarm system for the body; without it, individuals often sustain injuries and infections that go unnoticed and untreated, leading to severe complications or death.
Life is pain. 20 characters
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