I'm just here to learn something after I've undergone sex change. Is the male destructive and polygamous by nature?

Debate Room
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  • Is it because their hormones, such as testosterone, influence tendencies toward aggression and mating strategies?

  • Yes, they did form societies that have some form of cohesive function, but they still go to war and destroy other societies.

  • If it weren’t for women fighting for their rights to be equal, wouldn’t the male society continue to be oppressive without even giving thought to how they’re treating women?

  • Matriarchal societies (such as Mosuo, Umoja, etc), where descent and inheritance are traced through the female line and women often hold significant economic power, do exist but are much less common compared to patriarchal societies.

Let’s say in some alternate timeline, human society evolved with women being the leaders and men being warriors, workers, and supporting caretakers. It’s also initially part of human instinct for women to become leaders and men to be subservient. Even with the role as warriors and hunters, men would instinctively let the women take control of what they hunted or conquered.

  • Will there be less wars?

  • What will modern society look like?

  • Will men postulate gender equality or will the women introduce it first?

  • How would masculinity and femininity be viewed in this society?

  • Would traditional gender norms still exist or would they be flipped?

  • How would reproduction and child-rearing be handled in a society where women are the leaders and men are caretakers?

  • How would the workplace and job roles differ in this society?

  • How would the power dynamics differ in romantic relationships?

  • How would art, literature, and media portrayals be different in this society?

  • What impact would this society have on the depiction of gender in science fiction and fantasy media?

  • Would you like to live in this alternate timeline where women are most likely to be dominant?

One of the reasons I chose to undergo sex change surgery and have my male genitals removed was because of how people around me spoke about men. My religious mother absolutely hated this decision, but she, my ex-girlfriend, and much of the internet often described men as cheaters, abusers, warlords, and dictators.

Hearing that made me hate myself. I always tried to be a good son and a faithful boyfriend, yet people insisted it was “in my nature” to be a harmful, abusive cheater simply because of the body I was born with. I never really felt at home in either category. I struggle to see myself as female, but I also feel like just a man without a dick or balls.

When my girlfriend eventually cheated on me and left me for another woman (she had been bisexual, though I think she’s fully lesbian now), I felt even more certain that I needed to change. It seemed like no matter what I did, I would always be carrying the baggage of being seen as the “boot that steps on women’s necks”.

I thought that by removing my genitals, I could also remove this so‑called “nature” and finally live without the weight of being seen as dangerous or untrustworthy. But it still leaves me with the question: Is the male truly destructive and polygamous by nature?

  • I shouldn’t be asking this on an atheist forum because I know they deal with religion, faith, and lack thereof, so I decided to ask this on Reddit, and the answer I got was:

Your Account has been Suspended.

There seem to be only three topics here: Debate, Random Fun, and Site Feedback. This doesn’t really feel like either debate or random fun.

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While it is undeniable that men in most human cultures are the products of patriarchy, men can and do transcend it. I am a man and would not see “removing my genitals” as a solution; rather I see being a decent and good man and respecting women as the solution. I don’t find it a difficult enterprise. I don’t think men inherently would. It is just social conditioning and being accustomed to rather massive conveyed privilege.

So I assume (and hope) that you had reasons besides that for transitioning. Nothing about transitioning would make you less of an asshole, if that’s the concern. That comes from self reflection / awareness, and working on yourself.

You should only have self-loathing if you’re actually loathsome, not if other people in your life just SAY that you are. Of course if you grew up surrounded by a lot of that, it’s hard to separate yourself from it. And it’s hard for people, especially women, to separate individuals from a group that has been heavily supportive of assholery – I certainly recognize that’s a practical issue. I only say that how it’s an actionable issue is by means other than gender reassignment, IMO.

That said, as grandparent to a trans woman, I certainly support what you’re doing in principle. My granddaughter transitioned for the reasons I’d expect someone to transition – she was acutely miserable identifying as a man because she felt she was living a lie. To her, the downsides of transitioning are worth it. If she could afford the full surgical treatment, she would do it, but doubt that she would feel she were freeing herself from the excesses of toxic masculinity so much as freeing herself to be fully who she really is.