I Cracked The Bible Code

Since the New Testament was. "dictated directly by God to Moses in a precise letter-by-letter sequence, I knew there must be a secret code buried within its pages. I got out my adding coconut shells and went to work. Not only did I have to use all seven of the coconut shells but I ended up using four of my toes, two branches and a leaf. It took me all night but I have finally decoded the bible. I got “3.” Now what?

I mean, scholars have tried for 2000 years to decode this masterful piece of Godly literature. Now that I have the answer, “3,” what happens next?

Take that magic 3, double it by 2 (because we have two eyes to witness the glory of god), multiply by 7 (the days of the week), and we arrive at … ta da …



@David_Killens You and your thing with “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”. What else is new?

I know there are books and articles out there about the Bible Code and how to read them and interpret them, etc… Frankly I have no use for that stuff in any way. I would rather spend my time taking a walk, on a nice spring day, or a summer evening, then deal with that. But hey, Cog stumbled onto something, and it maybe be something. We’ll have to see how this goes!

You shaved.
I shaved.

Let’s bump uglies.

I looked into one of those “Bible codes” once.

This particular one worked like this:

Imagine every letter of the bible written out in a single huge line. Then they would pick a value and divide the text into that many columns. Then they basically would do a word search on the enormous rectangle of letters the above process generates. But of course it was done with a computer and not pen and paper.

What, you didn’t find what you were looking for in the rectangle? Don’t panic! Just have your computer try different column “settings” until you find what you need. So their prophecies would be built out of these searches. Often combining words from different column “settings”. :scream_cat:

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They didn’t have computers back then. But they had coconut shells and toes and leaves. That’s why my method is so much more effective. I gotta admit I like the 42 thing. You know if you add the 4 to the 2 you get 6 and six is double 3, which can only mean God created Two Worlds that are Exactly Alike.

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Jesus Fuckin’Christ… the three is code for father/son/Holy Spirit: body/mind/soul: the triangle: an egg :egg: (shell/yolk/white)

Fucking code for

White has a triangle- free her mind from her body! Have her yell oh “fuck yah god!”

Oh FUCK A Trinity! I didn’t even think of that. Like water! Liquid, gas and solid… Holy shit… HEY “Shit” — Liquid, gas and solid. WE ARE FUCKING ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python, and Bill and Ted, the holy trinity of entertainment and deep philosophy :wink:

DON’T PANIC. (9) LETTERS Three gozeinta 9, 3 times. TRINITY! “DON’T PANIC” a message from GOD!

Jewish scholars succeeded millennia ago. Have no idea if there is a hidden code in the Bible. If there is, so what? Contrary to the claims of some believers, that doesn’t mean god did it. What with him probably not existing and all.

Respected biblical scholar Barbara Thiering went a bit strange and worked out a code of her own, finding non supernatural explanations. Her findings have not been embraced by believers. I’ve read her book. Fascinating stuff.

The Bible code (Hebrew: הצופן התנ"כי‎, hatzofen hatanachi ), also known as the Torah code , is a purported set of encoded words hidden within the Hebrew text of the Torah, that according to its proponents, have seemingly predicted significant historical events. The statistical likelihood of the Bible code arising by chance has been thoroughly researched, and it is now widely considered to be statistically insignificant, as similar phenomena can be observed in any sufficiently lengthy text.[1] Although Bible codes have been postulated and studied for centuries, the subject has been popularized in modern times by Michael Drosnin’s book The Bible Code and the movie The Omega Code .

Bible code - Wikipedia(Hebrew%3A%20הצופן,seemingly%20predicted%20significant%20historical%20events.

I just told you there was and that I have figured it out. HELLOOOOOO! Anyone home??? Helllooooo Mc FLY! Hellooooo!

Barbara Thiering She is wrong and I am right. What methodology did she use? Did she have real coconut shells? HUH? How many fingers and toes does she have. Can she count that high? Does she have a certificate from the sixth grade with a gold star and a pretty blue ribbon. Huh? Huh? Answer me that. Ha! So much bullshit out there that you don’t recognize the truth when you see it.

Geez you can be thick. Coconut shells? Sheeesh! Of course not. She used green bananas, kept in bunches of different sizes.

Ha! There is the problem. Everyone knows “Green banana lie.” And if you eat enough of them your shit does not stick together. That’s a fact! Take it to the bathroom!

Well duh. Of course the answer is 3, but you didn’t take it far enough. The number 3 must be represented 3 times. Thus 333. Then you double that, because everyone knows 2 is better than 1, and you get 666. I knew it. The author of the bible is the antichrist. That explains so much. Why else would the bible portray god as such a monster?

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I’ve always thought it was 42.

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BLASPHEMY! To save your soul you must immediately start hopping on one foot while begging forgiveness and eating 10 green bananas. That will teach you :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: .

Mose’s was long dead before the NT was cobbled together. Some claim Moses wrote the Pentateuch, though even biblical scholars debate this.

You don’t know what the hell you are talking about. Who has been filling your head with such bullshit? Some scientist probably. Have you ever even sat in a pew in your life? Have you ever opened your heart to the true message of god? You poor ignorant sod… the Bible code was not written for the ignorant. Obviously you have not even paid attention to the evidence offered in this thread. Why even bother commenting?

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