How would that work?

I had kind of a mini epiphany earlier today, my wife, along with our kids and their families, are all members of the Baptist church. I’ve been told on more than one occasion that when the end times arrive, and what’s his name comes back, then the rapture will occur.
According to my wife, every single person who’s died in the last 3 or 4 thousand years will be brought back to life, they will literally rise from their graves, regardless of how long they’ve been dead or how they died. They will all be judged, and either end up in hell, or get to spend eternity on earth(not heaven?) with god in an eternal paradise.
It sounds fucking awesome, but what will happen to all of the people who were cremated after they died? If their ashes were scattered in the ocean, how the hell is god going to fix this problem? We dumped our father’s ashes into the Skagit river over 20 years ago(good riddance), how would that work?
Is what his name so fucking awe inspiring and powerful that he could actually pull it off, or is our dad screwed because he was catholic? My wife wants to be cremated when she’s left this mortal coil. I wonder if she’s thought this through?

Do you, really? In your experience here do people who are emotionally invested in any beliefs usually stop and subject them to critical rational scrutiny? Do they react well and with an open mind when others do it for them? When I point out someone is using a logical fallacy face to face the reaction is usually a rolling of the eyes and either a smug indifference as if logic is sad and irrelevant to belief (a whole new thread there btw) to an angry repetition of their rhetoric.

There’s no law that says anyone has to be rational, which is probably just as well, as the jails are already over crammed hell holes.

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The belief that you couldn’t be resurrected by Jesus if your body was missing (cremation being the most often cited cause) was still popular in at least some places in rural America when I was a child. This isn’t some stupid new idea. It is a really stupid, really old idea.

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Cremation is allowed in Orthodox churches, at least for the last 20 years. Greek and Serbian orthodox churches allow it for sure, I’m not sure about Russian.
I think that Ethiopian church still forbids it.

I can say that some smaller denominations in the northeast of the United States have no qualms with cremation. Dependent upon if their sect believes the book of revelation to be hearsay or not. Revelation and other books are looked at very skeptically by a lot more people than you might believe.