How to Choose Your Friends

Anyone whose goal in life is exclusively material, economic or social, does not serve you, and you should summarily distance yourself from these people. Why? There are a number of things in life that, although they are necessary for us, simply because they are necessary, they cannot be goals.

For example, you need a home, you need to eat and drink, you need to rest, you need to get married and have children, you need a job. These are all necessary things for subsistence. Now, what is necessary for subsistence cannot be, at the same time, the goal of existence. The goal must be far above all of this. And all these things — these other elements — come to us as things that sometimes help us, sometimes they hinder us; but, from the moment that the individual has placed them as the goal of existence, he has already cut off any connection he may have and that happens between him and the meaning of existence.

The human being is the animal that has the capacity to perceive the universal in the particular. His mission, his role is determined by this. Man is the animal created to discover what is beyond him, what is beyond the sensitive world and for him to realize his destiny in this sphere. Nobody has the right not to want this. If the subject says “Ah, I want to get married and have a child, I want to have a good job, I want to have this, have that”, all of these are means for existence. So, if you notice that the individual’s objective is placed in this sphere, even if he says “I want to be a writer”, “I want to be a poet”, “I want to be a painter”; the name of what he is saying is a socially relevant thing, but even there, he is in the purely material sphere.

It reminds me of that piece of “Túnica e os Dados”, that the boy runs away from home, and leaves the message to his mother: “Mother, I ran away to Rio de Janeiro, I feel the bubbling of genius in me”. If a person does not feel the bubbling of genius in him — genius does not mean that he is going to be a great painter — no, it means that he will discover that he is facing the mystery of existence; he wants to know what’s there.

If the person does not have this, you should in a word distance yourself from these people. And treat them, of course, with respect, with deference, but with the proper distance. Because they are below what is structurally required of human beings. This is the principle of the distinction of the varieties. Although, in India, the notion of caste has crystallized in a social compartmentalization, we have to understand that caste exist as individual human differentiations, mixed in all social classes. The subject may have been born in the greatest poverty, have nothing, and be focused on the highest goal of existence; and the other may have been born in a golden cradle and be a goof who is turned only to the stomach, to sex, to this kind of nonsense.

When you meet someone, see if there is that flame within the subject that lifts him above the ordinary social world. Get to know him if he has that call from God to the highest things; if he doesn’t, move away from that person, he’s a fool, it’s worth nothing. If there is a principle that justifies a hierarchical separation between human beings, it is this one. Not social, economic, racial separation, this is all materialism. You will rank people for the money they have in their pocket when, in general, the money was not even earned by them, it was the father who gave it, it was a great-grandfather; sometimes the family had a man of genius four generations ago and left money for a bunch of vagabonds and the guys think they are something because they received money from their great grandfather. The other who thinks he is better than the other because one is black and the other is white, this is all materialism, this is a dog thing: it is not a human criterion, it is a canine criterion. Do not accept any of this, but judge people and rank for it: “Ah, you do not have the flame of the spirit burning in you, so I do not want to talk to you, because who put yourself down was yourself; I’m not the one who’s classifying you, it is you who didn’t want to, you didn’t answer God’s call, you denied the human vocation, you threw it in the trash, so you’re already trash.

So, do not hesitate to select your friends, because if not, these people who only have really worldly interests, will only disrupt your life, will live by blackmailing: “Oh, you don’t like us anymore”, you have to say “I really don’t. So? If you want me to like you, try to improve, occupy the post of intellectual and spiritual dignity given to you by God, do not despise what is superior to you and you will not be despised either”. This is a missing element in American culture. Well, then people only conceive of two things: as everyone only thinks with their bellies, then they imagine the following: either you will have a social hierarchy based on money, or you will have egalitarianism also based on money. These are two absolutely indecent things, one as indecent as the other. Do not hesitate, even, to clearly express your disapproval of the conduct of these people. Sometimes, when we are alone, it is difficult to do this, if you are the only one then you are afraid. Don’t be afraid, when I was very young I was afraid of that. Then, from 20, 30, I started: “Look, my son, from the time you are there, you have nothing to judge what I’m doing. For me the abnormal is you, because the human being was made to be as I am, I am following what God sent. God has made me a spiritual creature, so I am able to ask the highest questions and hope to find the answer. Now you don’t, you just want to know about your money, your damn sexual pleasure, your house, your little things. You are acting like an animal.

You don’t need to get married or have kids to sustain yourself. :woozy_face:

Generally in history (greek civilization itself started with family alliances, and so it was the beginning of several Indo-European ones) the wife would cook food and do housework and in old age children would look after their parents but nowadays people prefer to adopt pets as surrogates for children. Bearing in mind the decadent culture in which we live, I do not totally disagree with you on this.

I like turtles.

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You remind me of my previous pastor, telling us we had to have this, we had to do that, we need so-and-so. I am my own person, and I will decide what I want and need. But let us approach your assertions, one step at a time. Let us ignore the first paragraph, and get down to brass tacks.

I need a home? It would be nice, but NEED? Please prove I NEED a home.

I need to get married and have children? Please prove I NEED to get married and have children.

I doubt you can get past this one sentence.

Then why did you say essentially the opposite?

Sentimental bollocks. Also totally fucking bullshit.


You’re arrogant and dishonest, as your posts on here have amply proved. I genuinely couldn’t give a toss how you feel about me, and as you’ve been told multiple times , you relentless bore, I don’t believe in any deity, and your tedious need to preach endless unevidenced assumptions and assertions about your imaginary sky fairy are hardly likely to change that.

What objective evidence can you demonstrate for any deity?

Start there…and take the tiresome sermons to a theist forum, where they’ll be appreciated.

What a load of tripe. There is nothing at all wrong having material, economic or financial goals. They serve people and their families just fine.

Every village needs an idiot, perhaps you are interested in a position. From your post, I can see you are certainly qualified. Would you like me to put in a good word for yoiu?

I love the fact that you think people are cut off from the “Meaning of Existence.” Ha ha ha ha … As if you could tell everyone what their meaning of existence was? I say, we all chip in and buy you a sandwich boar. You write out the meaning of existence on it and we will charge people a quarter to have their picture taken with you. We can make a million.

What great advice! Every person on this site should distance themselves from the utter and complete inane bullshit you are attempting to spread. What prophet died and left you in charge? What a load of crap! Please enlighten us all as to the meaning of life and inform us all of what we are doing wrong oh Buddha minded one.

Awwww… fuck… my eyes are burning… I can’t read another line of this pseudo intellectual detritus.

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What a miserable, arrogant, mean-spirited bugger you must be, Campello. Your god cant like that sort of behaviour in his representatives, what was the line? Judge not lest ye be judged…just as well I’m an atheist because here I go on a bit of a spray myself.
I can only imagine you have had a hard life, and while that makes me a little sympathetic to you, it still does not justify your puerile and toxic judgement of how others live their lives or your indulgently pious preaching on how they should. The entire OP was a revelation of your bitter jealousy for the relationships you witness others having that you cannot part take and is evidenced in your eagerness to condemn all and sundry while offering your own poor thin lifestyle as a remedy.

Why would you caustically dismiss all familial relationships as only being markers of subsistent success? Do you ignore, or are you just plain ignorant of, the richness of deep personal relationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, even in those with dysfunctional problems? People are far more emotionally and intelligently complex than you appear to imagine. Do you only see the rational need for money as wanton greed and the expression of emotions as unrestricted base urges? Either you live in a community of idiots or you simply lack the ability to identify the depth and breadth of the emotional lives of normal people.

Life is messy and yes there are a great many problems but your petulant advice for living is a case book study in egotistic misanthropy.
I feel the need to answer your toxic diatribe by offering you with an antidote:

Its advice on how to make friends and live life, suggested by someone much wiser than yourself.

"GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Desiderata By Max Ehrmann © 1927

Hope you have a good Christmas Campello. I hope you can spend it with someone who can show you that life is not about achieving impossible meaningless imponderables but acquiring the empathetic ability to see the world through the eyes and needs of sensate human beings rather than through the imagined demands of overly perfect and unreasonably demanding idea of a god that exists only in your mind.




Couldn’t get through his whole spew. I started laughing and tearing up …
A) I want to be myself. Simple.
B) sorry :neutral_face: Smilingbirdfood this is a false dichotomy. It’s both.

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Thank you for that. It saves me the trouble … and frankly… I found his shit so fucking boring that I just didn’t want to read it. I trust you have done an excellent job as usual. I;m going to bed.

This exact shite has been posted on 2 other sites under pseudonyms and on a blog .

Which was translated from here:

So, one or all of the above “authors” have plagiarised this OP or they are one and the same person, dishonestly passing themselves off as the the original blogger.

Either way it is stolen work.

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I got married because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was 32. Took that long to find a woman who also did not want children.

In case you’re wondering, of course I’ve regretted not having children from time-to-time. That regret has lasted for up to five minutes at a time… Because my marriage ended in divorce, I’m exceedingly grateful there were no children. If you don’t understand that comment, ask a few people who had children and then got divorced.

This may come as shock to you, but not everyone is automatically a good parent. I am one of those people. I actually dislike young children .I think they’re a bunch of narcissistic little psychos***

*** No empathy, no conscience, what would you call them?

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Yup! My take is NO ONE is automatically a good parent. Our young, like most young with- in species appeal to us. Their big heads, and eyes - short arms - smell…sets off all sorts of chemicals when they are yours.

I still do not have much use for kids…although I have empathy for their plight. After all, “like us, they didn’t ask to be born” (lol) AND many are masters of survival given their circumstances and parents.

i CALL THEM KINDERGARTENERS… I don’t work with them. I hate working with little kids. Hate it. And I, thankfully, do not nave to do it often. I am the head teacher, trainer, at the school where I work. I keep all the foreign teachers in line, assure they are following the program, and basically teach them how to teach and how to make their classes interesting. I run all the classes from age 7 to Adult. I do not have the time, patients, aptitude, tolerance, nerves, compassion, understanding, or nurturing ability to sit in a room full of pre-school or kindergarten kids for an hour without losing my fucking mind! FUCK!!! IT’S LIKE FUCKING TEACHING A ROOM FULL OF CATS TO FLY. I hate fucking little kids. And what is really horrible is that the little shitheads fucking love me.

They love climbing all over me, grabbing me with their filthy little hands, shoving those same hands into my pockets, whacking me in my privates because that is the only part of me they can reach, jumping up and down in front of me, talking to me whether I understand them or not, pulling me around the room to show me this or that, splashing me with body fluids, assaulting my senses with foul odors, burping sounds, or other weird noises emanating from their deformed munchkin bodies, and then fucking crying for no god damn good reason at all and making me look like a fucking bully for telling them to shut the fuck up and sit down. What a bunch of ASSHOLES!!!


On a more serious note…

Chilling to listen to her when she was “little”… and sorry (acting out of an abundance of caution) - wouldn’t let her near me with a 10 foot pole.

I have thankfully very little experience with this - and wish to keep it that way.

By the way - the “re-birthing” - Jesus fuckin’Christ…:roll_eyes:

The notion of child psychopaths is controversial, because children under about the age of 12 exhibit some psychopathic features.

I’m thinking of Jon Venables and Robert Thompson in England. in 1993, they murdered 3 year old James Bolger by beating him to death.

Because they were each only 10 years old, they were locked up until the age of 18 then released and given new identities.

As far as I’m aware ,the UK does not try children as adults.

In Australia, it’s possible but rare.


"After bringing in Thompson and Jon Venables for questioning, Phil said: “As far as I’m concerned that day — 20 years ago — I stared evil in the face.

“I think Thompson was in charge, but they both attacked James.

“They were a match made in hell. A freak of nature. They went out that day to kill — I truly believe that. And if they hadn’t been caught I fear they would have struck again.

“Pure evil, I will never change my mind about that.” "

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