Do you think it’s another illusion for how others to deal with being alone?
No, friendship, imo, is quite real. Yes, people are brought together by circumstance, but that doesn’t guarantee a bond will ensue. Friendship comes in as many flavors, levels, and timespans as you have friends.
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I wouldn’t know the definition if it hit me in the face. The word comes off as something you’d hear in grade school (to me)
There have been people that I talked to in school growing up. I hung out with people (sometimes), but I wasn’t in their friends group. I was just that guy people wanted to talk to when they were bored and then quickly forgotten about.
IRL, I often (always) don’t open myself up to being friends because people change their mind about you, move on, or decide they’re tired of you and end further interaction eventually. So I just don’t bother with the label or even considering that I would ever be their friend, let alone friend material. People in my life have suggested we be friends, but I do dismiss it because it is unreal to me.
I don’t think love or friendship are illusions per se; they are just subject to the shortcomings, blind spots, hot buttons, communication failures and neuroses of the humans involved. Which by itself is enough to make various forms of interpersonal commitments … hm, what euphemism applies here? Challenging? Interesting?
Certainly quite often, a lot of effort for a very uncertain outcome. It helps to approach attachments with a certain amount of detachment, if you will. Hope for the best, but not too much. Allow for speed bumps and ruptures. That sort of thing.
Hi! Frenidship has never been a illusion to me.
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