It’s a funny thing, God’s unconditional love (conditions may apply. See Bible for details).
He loves humanity so much he drowned it because he was mad at his own mistake.
He’s so forgiving that if you don’t like him he will send you to hell to be tortured forever.
He loves everyone so much he thinks women are second class citizens
He loves you so much he intentionally gave you flaws.
I’d personally love to have dinner with this guy, how about you?
Ohhhhh I’d have some questions for that mother f’er. Maybe show him that pulitzer prize winning picture of a starving child with the vulture sitting next to her and demand and explanation. Probably not though, if God actually existed he’d be pretty terrifying with that whole burn in hell for eternity tactic to force you to worship him, like some gangster protection racket. You ever see that Jim Jefferies comedy bit where God crashes a party, gets drunk and demands attention? Then he starts insisting he loves everyone, but sees a gay man and starts screaming he hates faggots? It’s hysterical.
I’m rather fond of Stephen Fry’s little diatribe: “suppose it’s all true and you are confronted by god--------?” (2minutes 24)
This one is longer (About 20- minutes) and about religion.
If I were an omnipotent omnipresent all loving God I would love him back so much that if I were watching him being raped, I would probably stop it.
I’d love him back enough to push him out of the way of a fast moving car just so he does not puncture his lungs and break his legs.
I love him back so much that I might put him in a world without disease, birth defects, or acts of nature that would steal his life.
On second thought, I would not have to love him at all, That would just be a common courtesy I would extend to ALL I HAD CREATED.
Yah - I have yet to do shit things to the boys just so they can prove their love to me.
I haven’t yet said “your gift to me 
is better than your brother’s”
Or
“your brother isn’t doing things the way I want - go kill him”
Or
“Here, give me your hand” 
and I hold it on the burner because he had the audacity to disobey the house rules.
Hahahaha - like my house has any rules. That was funny 
!
Totally off topic. Saw this on Youtube yesterday …were you either of these mums you when your boys were small?.
First mum: “All of MY children’s snacks are organic.”
Second mum: " Cool. My kid eats candy off the floor."
Only on a 5 second rule…
Starting at six they were granted the use of a swear word of my choosing on Birthdays.
Halloween 
they pigged out till sick.
The little guys had a sand and water play table in the kitchen while I cooked (you can always clean a mess)…
So cranks - what’s the result of my answer???
Oh, it wasn’t a contest, just something a mother posted
My grandmother taught mum that anyone who was a good housekeeper was mentally unwell. Over the years I’ve realised nana was pretty much accurate-- One of dad’s sisters used to starch and iron her sheets , polish her outside (brass) taps and hand wax her front verandah, among other things…
One of dad’s mates’ wives would belt her kids if they dropped so much as a scrap of paper on the floor.
Now this is my kind of housekeeper:
