FUN - does not show up as a choice, but I am happy to debate. I found some interesting definitions of Jesus. Perhaps you can add your own. (Here are some I thought of.)
Jesus: A good excuse from pretty much anything.
Jesus: A mythical zombie who wants your soul. (SEE: Boogieman)
Jesus: Assistant manager at Jack in the Box.
Jesus: The creator of the toast, “Here’s spit in your eye!”
Jesus: The guy fucking Christ.
Jesus: A hippy/trans looking man worshiped by people who hate both.
This is what we in maintenance call a Jesus clip. Usually once it comes off the immediate response is
“Jesus Christ where did that go?”
Also because it’s usually turns up 3 days later.
I think Jesus was the first reformed rabbi.
My understanding is that they have something like that in the porn industry as well. They clip it on before screaming “Jesus Christ.”
Jesus: A jewish man who has many followers who hate jews. The leader of a religion who preached against material wealth and whose leading clergy live like rock stars and kings.
I can vouch for this, they’re called circlips. In the factory I worked in they had a polished concrete floor, fuck me you would not believe how far small items would go on that sucker when dropped.
In a moment of what now seems like madness, I dismantled my Snap-on screwdriver, the circlip came of ok using the pliers I ground down especially to remove it, but then my confidence took a hit when I removed the cover and a small (I’m talking 3mm long, and 2mm dia at it’s widest) nipple was propelled skyward by the spring that the cover was holding in place. I ran round like a twat sweeping every bit of crap up in a 10 metre circumference, then sifted through it, found the sucker as well. You live and learn…Still got the screwdriver, bought it in 1989 so everyone who laughed at the £24 price tag then can fuck right off as well. 
