No, incorrect again.
As i said to Cog, there are many burdens and I shouldn’t have had to suffer any of them.
If you have children, you will know the joy of parenting is far more then just money… what a daft notion.
Ive edited out some further responses as i really dont want to get into this.
Suffice to say, its just a position i take.
Im angry at some other personal stuff in my life and dont want to fall out with folks…
All the best.
Are you defining “being a father” as “the direct participation in the development of a child”?
I have no idea why you were, as you’ve said, denied that participation. It sounds like you are saying the courts had no reason for it. Or is it that you think their reasoning was not warranted?
Either way, I do not accept that it justifies release from the financial responsibility for the existence of a child for whom you are half creator…unless, of course, you were raped.
I would say im defining it in the context of the sociological definition.
As for my being denied, ill offer more context.
I got into a relationship (5 months long) with a lady 5yrs my senior when i was 20yrs old and was told at the time, she was on the pill. Being young and dumb, i thought i would be safe… silly i know.
Roll on 9 months later and we have our beautiful daughter, at that moment i dropped out of further education in order to work and provide.
One day i was heading to work where she dropped me off and told me she was going to her mum for the afternoon in London but would return in the evening.
When i got home there was nothing there other then a note stating i would never be a father to her.
Eventually i took this through the courts and had to fight bizarre accusations including alcoholism, drug addiction and domestic violence, none of which were true… im actually proud to this day that ive never smoked or done drugs in my life, very rarely drink and have never had a fight.
I won my case with ease, and court order visitation rights (which is a bloody disgrace in of itself, visitation… how kind).
Every time though, she wouldn’t appear at the mediation centre.
After running tens of thousands of pounds in court debt, i had to concede defeat as i could no longer financially fight my corner.
Okay, I’ve read your story.
BTW…It is anecdotal. It is specific to you. The quote of yours that started our conversation was, “ I’ve always been fairly entrenched within the womens choice corner, but that said im equally in the ‘if women can choose to kill or keep, men should have the option to financially support or not’.” That is not specific to anyone. It is general.
Either way, your actions still resulted in the creation of a child. That child still needs to be financially supported. That you think the child’s mother or the courts did you wrong does not change that child’s need to be supported financially.
And that is where we fundermentally disagree.
Is a sperm donor required legally or morally to financially support a child?
(walking away, shaking my head in astonishment at the use of this argument)
It certainly sounds like you got a raw deal. An uncooperative, spiteful partner will always be a problem in parental issues and that can work both ways. Perhaps better over sight and laws are a partial answer. The ramifications of a man being able to wash his hands of all obligations using the argument that it’s the equivalent of abortion for men would be catastrophic for children. Not so long ago men would often deny paternity of an unwanted child, now that that is no longer possible this would just be another way out of their responsibility.
Thank you, i apprecaite that in regards to my situation.
So may I ask, do people think its ok to have an abortion at any stage through a pregnancy? Is the specific situation where it should or shouldn’t be ok?
The medical definition of abortion is the termination of a pregnancy before the zygote / embryo / fetus can survive outside the uterus. Therefore, abortion cannot be done “at any stage through a pregnancy”.
POV from the child’s side. I was born in 1951 to parents who didn’t finish the 5th grade before being pulled from school and put to “earning your keep!” When Mom met Henry she eventually got pregnant. Baby boy with red hair, just like Henry. Second child, me, brown hair. Obviously “not his”. (5th science education didn’t explain my hair color.) Fast forward 45 years. Henry never spoke to me, ever, except when he found a reason to berate me.
If a kid was to know he/she was going to have a childhood like mine the child would have good reason to not be born. I did it the hard way, living longer than the man who hated me for something I had absolutely no control over.
The above cautionary tale is advice for people who may be rashly creating a new human that they might not feel responsible for.
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