I was perusing the atheist stores, reading T-shirts for a chuckle, and thought of a wonderful product I could sell on E-bay.
The Jesus doll.
Yep. The holy, eternal, all loving, non-judgmental, Jesus doll.
(Batteries not included.)
This Jesus doll comes in it’s own little box. Jesus is dressed in his typical white gown, with flowing golden hair, a beard and nice clear blue eyes.
You take him out of the box and he does not do a damn thing… well, until you go out and buy a battery, and then rip off his loin cloth, shove the AAA battery up the hole in his ass and then re-attach the loin cloth. Then… he just sits there, looking dull and lifeless, doing nothing… (You would think this would be enough … but wait… there is more…)
So you shake the doll, thinking it’s broken. Still it does nothing. You start checking for on and off switches but find none… Still the doll does absolutely nothing.
Hmmm? You raise the white gown Jesus is wearing … and there, where the heart should be, is a quarter sized coin slot. “Ahhh, That’s how it works,” you think to yourself.
You reach into your pocket, pull out a quarter, and shove it into the slot. Instantly the dolls eyes light up and his little mouth smiles. The arms of the doll rise in an embracing motion, Amazing Grace begins to softly play, and the doll says, “I Love You!”
The arms go back down to the side. The eyes stop glowing and the doll just sits there and does nothing once again. …