Yup.
There is an aphorism I like. Have no idea from whence it comes. I think it’s probably pretty old, possibly pre christian.
“Bis dat qui cito dat”; He who gives swiftly gives twice.
"Just do.
Give more attention to the stranger on the street, hold the door for a lady, practice random acts of kindness. Just do."
ABSOLUTELY! This…just this, times a million, billion, gagillion! I 100% agree with this and endorse it!
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Legend has it that The emperor Ashoka once asked a Buddhist monk how much merit and good karma would he earn if he built many temples and undertook countless acts of charity.
The monk replied: None.
The Buddha said “above all loving kindness” . From that I concluded that compassion is the mother of all virtue. Of course there’s a catch; such a guiding principle needs to be without thought, without self. Another conclusion: the good man does good for its own sake, instinctively, not for the sake of ego gratification or the hope of reward.
Seems to me that the atheist trying to be a good person has at least one up on believers in say any of the Abrahamic faiths. Those folks strive to be good to avoid the punishment of hell or to gain the reward of heaven. Indeed, some we have had here seem to relish the idea of atheists going to hell.
IMO just as the only criteria for charity is need, so too the right reason for charity/kindness/compassion is for its own sake.
The foregoing is simply my opinion, which forms part of my world view. Suits me as ideals, but I make no truth claims.
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That good sir, is my position, in a nutshell.
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Stack poo Fling poo. Be in the moment!
That’s beginning to sound the teensiest bit anal retentive.
Not to worry, Freud has become so twentieth century. 
UGGGHH! I have such a passionate dislike of psychoanalysis. It’s about the same as astrology to me. (Don’t get me wrong… Defensive mechanisms are very useful.) It’s all the regression bullshit that needs to be trashed. Then you have all this shit about ids, egos and superegos as if any of that is real. And, let’s not forget the crowning glory of psychoanalysis, “The free flow of information from the unconscious to the conscious.” and the process will take from 3 to 7 years. HORSESHIT! So to compete with much better theories, the psychoanalysts have had to come up with some brief treatment modalities. And because a Psychoanalyst is a medical doctor with only 3 years training in the specialty compared to a Clinical Psychologist with 8 to 10 years training, the Doctor gets to charge Doctors rated and engage in the “Washing Machine Principle.”
Washing Machine Principle: You wash your white socks and if they come out not looking so white, you toss them in the wash and wash them again. You keep doing the same thing over and over again. Psychoanalysis is the ONLY psychological theory that has “resistance.” Resistance is when the client does not agree with the psychotherapist. In psychoanalysis, the therapist knows more about the client than the client knows about themselves. The therapist interprets the clients behaviors, thoughts, dreams, associations… according to psychoanalytic theory.
There is little evidence for the success of psychoanalysis when the intervening variable of natural maturation is controlled for. In other words, do people report decreases in symptomatic behaviors due to psychoanalytic treatment or by virtue of the fact that they are simply growing and maturing?
Have seen a few shrinks over the years. Only one used dream analysis ,which I found useless.
Over the years a few things occurred to me:
It is assumed the patient will simply trust the shrink and that the patient will always tell the truth. I have never done either implicitly. Also found it a bit too convenient that to disagree with the shrink was to reinforce the diagnosis of a pathology.
My last shrink wasn’t too bad. She was the first to come up with a cocktail of psychotropics which actually work. IE haven’t experienced suicidal ideation since 2014. BUT, the only actual progress came from seeing an excellent psychologist who uses cognitive therapy. These days I still see her every three months for monitoring . No longer see my shrink.
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Part of my training was with a Group out of of “Contextual Therapists.” Everything the therapist did was about creating a “Therapeutic context” in the session. What the client actually did or how the client responded was all exactly what the client needed to do to get where he or she was going. Where the client was going was not up to the therapist but rather it was up to the client. In training, clients were encouraged not to discuss presenting problems, to lie, and to be evasive. They were to challenge the therapists on anything they could/
It’s not important that the therapist knows what is going on… over there… It is only important that you know what is going on … over there. And when you become aware… very interesting things can happen.
Any therapist worth his/her salt. knows this. The fact that you choose to change has very little to do with the person sitting in front of you. You walked into the room on your own two feet. It was your choice. You know the way out of the room as well. It is always your choice to stay, to lie, to play games, to do whatever. None of this can diminish the impact the situation can have on your life when the session is designed to have an impact on your life.
I am happy you found a way out.
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I should mention… less you think I am a monster… my clients are mostly court referred perpetrators. I prefer working with highly manipulative populations and their families or significant others. I am not a “feel good, everything will be okay,” therapist. I’m more like a, “let’s get in there and puncture the boil,” strategist. Subtle as a brick wall.
Working with normal populations is an interesting change. I have been a school counselor for several years, now dealing with cultural and educational issues. The reality approach is still there but I do admit it is softened up just a bit.
Oh sweetie- my opinion hasn’t changed! 
Not for a second have I ever thought such a thing. Your approach sounds about right, and reflects my own experience.
Took me long time to trust my therapists and do what they told me to do. But yair, I came out the other side. I’m not sure how usual this is. Intuitively, I would think not very.