If a poster tells folks straight up that they are struggling, and that the tone they are hearing is uncomfortably harsh to them, then continuing in that direction will not likely help but will likely cause pain.
Now, one may say that the advice offered was sound, and it may very well have been so for certain individuals…but not for everyone. The way you can tell who is in a sound enough place to consume it when stated so, uh, bluntly is to actually fucking listen to how they react. Only then does one have the ability to meet them where they actually are instead of where one thinks they should be.
Wait… Did Mark bug out on us? Well, hell… Guess that explains why I haven’t gotten a response from him. Guess I didn’t read as much of the thread as I thought before I responded to him. Dammit, I took all that time and wrote all that stuff for nothing. And after doing a quick review, it looks like we have @Cognostic to blame… (as usual ). Dog-gonnit, Cog! Why you always gotta be so honest and tell people the truth? You should know by now how much people HATE the truth in this day and age. It hurts their feelings and makes them have to face reality, and that’s just plain not fun. Look, if you insist on pursuing the whole “honesty” thing, may I al least make a suggestion? Whenever you decide to tell somebody something about themselves they don’t want to hear, try to do it in a “happy” tone. You know, maybe use a bunch of smiling, laughing, and/or heart emojis in your post. Makes you look more “friendly”. See? Hey, I know! How about you practice on me first. Tell me something about myself I don’t want to hear. First, do it in your normal manner, then try doing it in a more “pleasant” manner. C’mon, give it a shot!
Not really. Interestingly one of the best things you can learn in the helping professions is to not help. Never want more for a person than the person wants for themselves. Imagine a cop who let robbers go every time he heard a sob story. Imagine a teacher that gave everyone a certificate of participation instead of a grade to protect their feelings (oh fuck, we do that in the modern world don’t we? That just shows how fucked up we are. Educators that don’t tell students or parents the truth. Now that is fucked up.)
I may be the only honest person this guy has ever run into and I would have told him the same thing had he told me the same BS in person. One red flag after another and very little personal responsibility. As well as some serious issues he is not dealing with.
You’re too fucking healthy. I will tell you about yourself and you will just agree with me. Your biggest problem in life is that you have your heart on your sleeve and are deeply and easily hurt by simple things. Very few people know how deeply you care about things because you hide behind your humor. You are very good at avoiding conflict by using humor and wit. But you also hide the depth of your emotions with the same techniques. (The Tin Man -has a heart.) LOL
What the hell, dude?!? Why you telling me things about myself I told you I don’t want to know? Just throwing all my dirty laundry and shit out there for EVERYBODY to see! Geeeeez! And I didn’t even see any smiling face or heart emojis. That’s just cold-blooded, man… (shaking my damn head)… You SUCK at this therapy stuff. Oh, wait… Hold on a sec… (reading back over post)… Well, shit. Disregard all i just said. I just realized I already know all of that stuff. All except for me being too fucking healthy, though. I DID NOT know THAT. Rather baffled as to how you came to that conclusion, but I suppose I’ll just have to take your word for it. Now, could you please explain to me how I’m suppose to deal with being too damn healthy? (And, remember, make sure you use friendly looking emojis.)
I just found this thread and was going to say something about how Mark was treated but you said it perfectly. @Cognostic I read his OP and not once did he ask for a critique on how he perceived the situation.
). Dog-gonnit, Cog! Why you always gotta be so honest and tell people the truth? You should know by now how much people HATE the truth in this day and age. It hurts their feelings and makes them have to face reality, and that’s just plain not fun. Look, if you insist on pursuing the whole “honesty” thing, may I al least make a suggestion? Whenever you decide to tell somebody something about themselves they don’t want to hear, try to do it in a “happy” tone. You know, maybe use a bunch of smiling, laughing, and/or heart emojis in your post. Makes you look more “friendly”. See? Hey, I know! How about you practice on me first. Tell me something about myself I don’t want to hear. First, do it in your normal manner, then try doing it in a more “pleasant” manner. C’mon, give it a shot!
Oh, wait… Hold on a sec… (reading back over post)… Well, shit. Disregard all i just said. I just realized I already know all of that stuff. All except for me being too fucking healthy, though. I DID NOT know THAT. Rather baffled as to how you came to that conclusion, but I suppose I’ll just have to take your word for it. Now, could you please explain to me how I’m suppose to deal with being too damn healthy? (And, remember, make sure you use friendly looking emojis.)