Do you suffer from Shy Bladder? Are you the guy at the football game who wants to have a few beers but holds up the line in the bathroom at halftime because you can’t squeeze out a drop in front of other men? Has your inability to piss at the drop of a dime made you ineligible for certain jobs, like the armed forces for example?
Worried that you’re less of a man because of it? Maybe it was your abusive childhood? Maybe your worried people will know you have a small penis?
Tried everything? Hot towels on the back of the neck? Images and sounds of waves crashing on a coastline?
Worry not, pitiful fool. There is a simple explanation and solution to your problem! And it isn’t a resolution to an inferiority complex!
As mammals we evolved to have an acute sense of smell. However, when Homo sapiens sapiens arrived at its current form and function that ability to detect scent was drastically reduced. So what does this have to do with your wee wee?
Unlike other men, you’re not comfortable with your nose. It isn’t relaxed and you haven’t come to terms with the very real fact that even though you don’t detect the smell of testosterone in the air, your nose is still sensitive to it. And if you’re not comfortable with your nose then you will be subject to an inhibiting activity in your brain which puts an absolute physiological stop to the muscles needed to both relax and exert force in the process of pissing.
So, take heart men of all ages. The days of carefully timing your trips to the bathroom are almost over. No longer will men next to you detect an absence of pisssssss and ask you “are you doing all right there bud? Having trouble with your zipper?” No longer! You are about to join the ranks of real men who love to whip their dicks out anywhere and anytime to drain the lizard. How, you ask?
Don’t be a dummy! Learn how to get in touch with ALL of the sensations in your nose and nostrils. Let those sensations go and bring calmness to your probiscus. That, my shy friends, is the simple and effective way to piss at any given moment in any given situation.
Guess what!? You’re not inferior! You’re not damaged by your abusive childhood! You don’t have a lower testosterone level than the other men! You don’t have to carry around a hot towel or imagine a thunderstorm every time you approach a urinal.
Get back to the football games! Be all you can be in the Army! Take pisses with confidence - knowing that a stress free sniffer sensitive to trace amounts of hormones in the air was ALL THAT WAS EVER STOPPING YOU FROM pissing!
Breathe easy my friends. You are no longer “that one guy who can’t squeeze out a drop in front of other men.”
- Bill Gates
