Are you "prepared" to die?

The subject of death isn’t new to this forum, but I was wondering if anyone else here has actually done anything ahead of time to prepare for their own demise? Everyone/thing will die, it’s inevitable, but it’s not exactly a topic of normal everyday discussions.
Have you informed your families about what you’d like them to do with your corpse? When our mom died in 2010, it was kind of sudden. She was in the hospital for 3 days, then she died. She wasn’t in any condition to bring the subject up(it never is). All we knew was that she wanted to be buried. Nothing else was ever decided on until she was gone.
So my 3 sisters and I got to go to the local funeral home and make all of the arrangements. Fun times. We had to decide on everything and hope it was what she would have liked.

After she died, I decided to not put my wife through anything like this, it sucked. When we were at one of the local cemeteries picking out her gravesite, I reserved the spot next to her for myself, done. My wife wants to be cremated, also done.
I started a private journal almost 10 years ago, and in it, I’ve written out exactly what I’d like them to do when I’m deceased. I’ve already built my own casket, and it’s stored away waiting for my dead ass. In Washington state, you can build your own and avoid the rip-off that is casket shopping at your friendly, neighborhood funeral home.

There will be zero religious ceremonies or rituals, all I want is a graveside gathering. Say goodbye, then plant my ass 6 feet deep. I do however have a specific list of what I don’t want on my headstone. Nothing including the words god or Jesus allowed, and no crucifixes(unless it’s inverted).
I’ve asked our son to play a list of songs that I’ve compiled over the years where ever they gather afterwards. My family doesn’t like my choice of music, which is funny since they never have to listen to any of it. I never play it out loud if/whenever my wife is home, I use headphones. I’m asking them to listen to it for the only time in their lives, and then never have to even think about it again, or me even.

My wife has told me on more than one occasion that if/when I’m dead and buried, that she has no intention of ever coming back to the cemetery. In her words,“you’re not there anymore”, so why would I came back?
If for whatever reason she dies before I do, I’m taking her ashes to the grave with me, so she can spend eternity with me in “our” rot-box.

Has anyone else done anything to prepare for their eventual demise?


Yes, here in Australia in most States we have a thing called an Advanced Care Document. This lists the care you wish to have (and the care you DO NOT want) if you are incapable of decisions because of accident, stroke or any other circumstance.

Mine is very explicit

We also have “End of Life” legislation which allows the terminally ill to end their lives and be assisted to do so if they wish.

My kids all know my wishes and where to find the documents.
I did have one issue after my cardiac arrest with a very Catholic nurse in a Catholic hospital who needed a forceful verbal reminder that the Advanced Care Document was a legally binding document on ALL the medical personnel treating me.

Regarding any ceremonies, none. Private cremation. No mourners. Only a sum of money over the bar at my local pub and an invitation to my closest friends to join my partner at home attempting to imbibe the entire contents of my wine collection. Mandatory


Yes. I know for myself and my boys know my wishes. I know my boys wishes.

We’ve always talked openly about death.


My wife knows all the arrangements for me, and I know hers. We are set here. (Both of us will be cremated, by the way. No big funeral ceremonies.)

On a side note:

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I’ve made it clear that organ donation is OK, if I should pass away in such a fashion that it is applicable.

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All my closest friends know exactly what I want. (nothing) A cardboard box and a cremation. No ceremony. Nothing. Take the money you would have spent on the funeral and have a pizza party. In fact, when I die, everyone is to deny they know me. That way the city will cremate me for free.

I have nothing officially in writing. That is only due to the nature of my work. My contracts are year to year. I am in the process of completing a second year, on a two-year contract currently. My boss wants me to sign on for an additional 2 years. We’ll see how I feel. There is a very good chance I could return to America and work from home. Problem is, I don’t yet have a home in America, and I am not going to buy one until the currency exchange rates improve.

I suppose I am being irresponsible not writing anything officially. Perhaps this will serve as a clue. Without my own place, I feel … (I was going to say unsettled, but that isn’t it. (I feel that I have not yet chosen the place I want to die.) How else can I express that? Sure, I am ready to go. If I die here in Asia, the Korean government can deal with it. I’ve had a full and exciting life. But when I get my house, that will be my next adventure. That will be where I settle. I already have a second and third income planned. That will be the time to take a visit to the local coroner, talk to a local attorney, and get everything squared away. JMO

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Why do you care about how your funeral is done? You’ll be dead. Nonexistent after your last breath. When I die I leave the arrangements for my family, they can sing all the churchy xtian bullshit songs they want to make themselves feel better because I won’t hear them. I won’t be able care anymore after the lights go out. Nothing matters to a dead person.


I won’t be buried as I think it’s a waste of land, I won’t be cremated as I think it’s a waste of fuel and causes some pretty nasty pollution. I rather like the Zoroastrian tradition of letting vultures eat dead bodies but we can’t do that where I live. I have asked that my carcass be donated to a medical school or left to rot in a CSI ‘bone yard’. I rather like the idea that someone could do some learning by way of the meat that’s carried me around for so long. I am also listed as an organ donor if they want any of them.
Both my husband and I have books titled, “I’m Dead, Now What” that we’ve filled out describing all of this and what to do with our stuff or the few dollars we might then have in the bank when we croak.
As far as any sort of gathering in honor of my death, folks can do whatever they like. I won’t be there so don’t get a vote. I’m quite sure, however, knowing my family, there will be no religious activity.
I’m not afraid of death. Sometimes I’m afraid of the manner in which it may occur but not of death itself. I don’t want to die, at least yet. I like being alive.


Precisely, being dead is no problem, I wasn’t alive for billions of years before the last 57. The dying bit I’d like to postpone as long as possible, and hopefully it’ll be as painless as possible. Then it’s hello darkness my old my friend.


It’s probably due to the fact that my wife has said that she won’t follow my wishes when I’m gone the few times that we’ve talked about it. She’d do whatever she wants done, so it’s the principle I guess.
That’s why I started writing my journal in 2014, it’s all in there. My kids have told me that they’ll follow my final wishes. They both know where to find them when I’m gone.

Sky burial should be an option for the terminally ill or anyone else once you become a corpse.

Nothing is set in stone. What if she dies before you?

LOL… Get backs are a bitch… Tell your wife you are going to bury her with a cat. LOL!

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Our kids have told me that they’ll do the things I’ve asked for in my journal. If Becky dies before I do, her ashes are going to be buried with me.
I have a rare, one of a kind Nightmare Before Christmas cookie jar that I’ll keep her ashes in, and then she’ll be planted 6 feet under.

To be honest I give minimal thought to “after”, I mean beyond not leaving relatives with any debt, which seems unlikely, I could care less if they embalm my corpse and charge the sheeple to see the remains of a repentant sinner. I do like the idea that my remains will have minimal impact on the environment, and I’d like to spare anyone the idea they need to look grim faced and shed tears. I mean ffs it’s going to happen, so lets not get maudlin about the prospect, and certainly once it’s happened lets just move on.

That said a national day of mourning, and a state funeral…nah just kidding…

The real irony is no more back pain, and I won’t be able to appreciate it at all, now that is ironic you have to admit.

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Why not get a cat like Abby and mix Becky’s ashes in with the kitty litter? :wink:

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Being embalmed is optional in our state, so we’ll skip that part. It’s just another way for funeral homes to make money off of the dead.
What’s the point in trying to preserve a corpse? No one’s going to see me.

Actually, that might be a very wrong conclusion. Scientists have learnt quite a lot from embalmed Egyptian mummies and desiccated Egyptian corpses buried in the dried desert sand. Future scientists (hundreds or thousands of years from now, provided our species still exists by then) might learn a lot from examining dead bodies from our time.

I have considered donating my body to science, if nothing else they can examine my liver, and run a sweep on how many units of alcohol I consumed a week. They’ll never get it… :innocent:

Agreed, but I’m not worth anything other than a hole in the ground.