But…but…but Tin Man is a kind and generous man. He would never do something so horrible and selfish. 
What the hell? Hey! Has there been an imposter running around here trying to give me a good reputation? Son-of-a-…! Mods!.. MODS!.. I think somebody has been using my account without my knowledge!
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Security cameras reveal a different story Tin Man …
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Damn. And I thought I was clumsy. That dude really needs to work on his claw-lens coordination.
Now you know what happens when Tin dips into his own eggnog before the Christmas party. First you get her drunk. Then you have her lift some heavy boxes. When she falls over, you plug in and take advantage of her data base.
Isn’t that the smoothies you’ve been giving me in the mornings???
Nothing but the best your you my little pug.
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I heard that Tin Man had received a brain at some point, but I suspect that he may have ended up with a brain from…“Abbey something”…
No, I never got a brain of my own. Like I keep telling everybody, Straw Boy cut in line and got the brain before I could. Although, he does allow me to borrow it every now and then. That may be how that rumor started. The problem, though, is the brain he got has more connectors than I have ports. So I have to leave a few loose ends, and I can never remember which ones I used the time before. Naturally (as you might guess), this tends to cause a few “irregularities” each time I borrow it.
(Oh, I think Abbey’s middle name is Norm, and the last name starts with an “L”, maybe? Something like that. Anyway, we hang out sometimes.)
So, the loose ends thing…does that mean you are not port-able? Moving on, the "irregularities of which you speak, you really don’t expect anyone to accept your pathetic explanation for them, do you?
However, you have partially redeemed yourself with the correct identification of the donor…I guess…
Hey, a pathetic explanation is better than no explanation at all. It’s my lie. I’ll tell it how I want. 
I’m not sure you can in any way demonstrate this claim…but tell it as you will. I think “people” are getting used to you having your own “versions” of reality.
Really??? Damn, I must be doing something wrong then. Nobody is ever suppose to get use to my versions of reality.
See, this is what I’m talking about when I say that people have a tendency to misuse my words and create straw men (I know one of them is your best friend). I never said that people are getting used to your versions of reality. Rather I stated that people are getting used to you HAVING your own versions of reality. Big difference. In fact huge difference. I would even go so far as to say it is probably an example of the maximum amount that things could be different from each other…
Oh. Okay. Phew! Thank goodness. I was getting worried for a moment. I misunderstood you. Sorry about that. Thanks for clarifying.
Huh? Best friend? Where? Who? Since when the hell did I get one of those?
Frankly, that is why I am here. (on this planet) To bring clarity to otherwise obscure and vague matters which may or may not be the subject(s) of variable obfuscation. I consider it my duty, nay OBLIGATION, to elucidate to whatever degree necessary to further complicate that which might originally be a single-faceted issue, thus justifying the need and embrace of my continued service(s). You are welcome.
Well actually it is a metaphor for something for which you posses a love/hate relationship.
Please do not think your valuable services go unappreciated. Were it not for your diligent dedication to your self-appointed obligations, your unique skills of complication would be wasted elsewhere rather than here. We are truly obliged.
I’m afraid I can neither confirm nor deny any such relations I may or may not have had that included any person(s) and/or non-person(s) I loved to hate or hated to love which was or was not mutually or individually consensual to all parties involved or otherwise uninvolved to the best of anybody’s knowledge. Amen.