Hello Jesus, how’s it all hanging?
I was moved when I heard the bad news.
Forty lashes and a cruel crucifixion.
For claiming a divine pedigree fiction
And disturbing the Sanhedrin Jews.
There can be no doubt you were setup.
An apostle turned grass? That’s so lame!
Well, whoever the hell it was, I hope
His guts get spilled at the end of a rope
For giving disciples a really bad name.
You’d need to admit you weren’t all innocence.
You played devilishly pious word games.
You could have just said, “God’s not my father.”
But as if possessed, you decided you’d rather
Die young for an eternity of fame.
Did your dramatic sacrifice really nail it?
Did it bring to all universal redeems?
Some followers now act like their faith in you
Gives them licence to do just what they want to do,
Taking advantage of your gift to extremes.
Astronomers check stars, to mark your death
Others zealously get nailed to hard wood.
In millions of candled churches, they pray and weep
Their worthless, sinful souls for you to keep
While others think chocolate tastes good.