Why not just be a human being?
Here is the issue: “There is no such thing as an atheist.” The position of not believing in a God or gods is how we are born. (Interestingly enough your Bible agrees. We are all born in SIN. Separation from God) The concept of God must be introduced to us. At some point in our lives, we are handed a box of God-beliefs. We pick that box up and we carry it around with us. As we mature, we add more and more shit to the box. The beliefs become more complex, more adult. We add excuses, rationalizations, rules, values, and more. We go nowhere without our little box of religious values and pretend that we can not imagine how anyone can get through their life without having such a box.
You did not become an Atheist. This is why you feel so lost. There is nothing to become. Atheism is not a belief system. You have set your box down and walked away from it. You are in the void. The only way you are an Atheist is by the fact, this is what the church calls non-believers. If you are seen walking around without your box, you are an atheist, a heathen, a non-believer, a sinner, doubting Thomas. You are an Infidel, a member of the damned, a heathen, and doomed for the fiery pits of hell. All of this, for no other reason, than you are not carrying around your little box of beliefs. An atheist is a person who puts their box of beliefs down and walks away from them. An atheist is a person who no longer believes in a god. If you are no longer a believer, you are an atheist whether or not you call yourself an atheist. As soon as your loving church members hear you utter the words, “I no longer believe,” they will know exactly what you are. They will know what you are whether you know it or not.
You have always been Agnostic, you just didn’t know it. The word agnostic breaks down into ‘A’ - (Without) and ‘Gnosis"- (Knowledge). I submit to you the ‘FACT’ that there is not a human being on the planet that I have ever experienced who "KNEW’ a damn thing about God. Do you know anyone who knows anything about God? Please share what they know and how they know it. Outside of choosing to believe some Iron Age fairy tale or having some Woo Woo experience that they can not explain and so attribute to the mystical spirit realm of magic and possibly a God, what have you got? What do you profess to KNOW about this God thing? What is there outside of that little box of beliefs you set on the ground and walked away from that tell us, “Hey! Here is some evidence for God.”
As you stand right now, an atheist is a person who is waiting to see evidence for God or gods. The time to believe a claim is when there is sufficient evidence for such a belief. It may not be that no gods or God can be demonstrated (Proved is a math concept and does not apply to real life. All we ask for is a reasonable demonstration. Evidence. The fact is that no one has been able to ‘EVIDENCE’ a god or gods.) That does not mean it could not be done. It means I have not yet seen it done. When it is reasonable to believe in a God, I will do so. But that brings me to a new problem… Worship?
If you imagine I am going to worship the Abrahamic asshole that the Bible, (Old Testament, New Testament, or Quran) describes, you have lost your mind. That child butchering, murdering, bigoted, backward, piece of garbage can fuck right off. I see no justification for worshiping such a monster or believing in a faith that is based on a cult of human sacrifice. Some monster god kills his own fully human son so he can forgive the people he created for not living up to his expectations. Does this really make any sense at all? So much of the silly religion makes no sense. I’d likely never worship this silly version of a God.
So the recap… You are an atheist if you do not believe in a god. That’s it. Period., Atheism is not a belief system. It is the absence of a belief system. You have always been an Agnostic. You just didn’t know it.
If you are looking for a belief system, I suggest looking into skepticism, epistemology, and critical thinking. Any one of these might help cure you of the desire to find a system of belief or at least question any system of belief you do find.