Heeeey… You may be onto something here… 
… Let’s seeee… … Ah-ha! Yes! Got it! How about this…?
…(slobbering drunk slurring… holding guy’s shoulder to maintain balance… leaning in close to his ear)… Lishun… No-no-no-wait-wait-wait… Jess lishuntahmae a sek- hiccup - a sekun- hiccup - a sekund… burrrrrp… Lookie… Yuse need Jeeshus… Yuse NEEEED ‘im… hiccup… An-an-an-an yanowutelsh?.. burp-hiccup… Yuseshuhd ashkda Lor- burrrrrp - ashkda Lor- hiccup - da LORD ta fergiv allllllhiccuplllllll yer, all-yer, all-yer shinns… burrrrrp-hic… Prayshe da Lor- hic - da Lor- hic - da LORD!.. burrrrrrrp… (starting to sob)…I jessh doanwanna… (pulling him into a hug)… I jessh doanwanna sheeya bein’ all chrishpy-friden hellllll… (sobbing uncontrollably… blowing nose on jacket collar)…
Hey, if THAT doesn’t bring somebody closer to God, I don’t know what will.