My favorite memory is of one of my stepsons, who I raised as my own, when he was in primary (elementary) school at about 9 years old. The teacher had asked the children how they were punished when they were naughty. It went around the class with “time outs”, “my mum gives me a smack”, taking away of privileges, no desserts, extra chores, until, as the teacher put it, “there was my dear boy red faced, with pent up emotion”: The teacher was anxious as he began to speak as she thought she was about to find out something horrifying and (as she later confessed) was worried about hearing about beatings, darkened bedrooms, nights in dog kennels, all the stuff of a caring adult’s nightmares. The conversation was
T: (pensively) A?
A: (red faced and angry) You lot are so lucky! My Dad TALKS to me!!!
T; (now restraining relieved laughter) That doesn’t sound too bad A…
A; (Even more aggrieved) He tricks me into answering then I have to choose my own punishment!
Class: Wow, wish I could choose!
A: No! NO! you lot don’t know, it has to fit the crime!! It’s HORRIBLE!
(Teacher departs classroom for a couple of minutes to compose.)
Returns to find the class commiserating with A as he gave examples of the ‘cruel and inhuman’ punishments he had forced upon himself.
She met me that afternoon at the gates to pass on the story.
I fostered 9 children and have a large family of step children. I never raised a hand to them after the age of reason (about 2years, and then only to administer a transient pain to prevent an injury)
There is NO need for violence in raising children. It only demonstrates a shortcoming in your mentality.