I feel the same way. I won’t judge those who do go. Losing someone close is a personal experience and whatever the person needs to do to get by is fine with me. I gave the eulogy at my dads funeral because I wanted to relate some great memories not because I believed in an afterlife. I also attended my moms funeral. It was held in Utah and prior to leaving to drive down my wife told me she had a nightmare. She dreamed that when we got to Farmington there was a great earth quake and the earth was split open North of where we were staying and that we were trapped in Utah without wine and surrounded by really friendly missionaries. After the funeral we didn’t linger and we both sighed in relief when we crossed the border. Neither of my two brothers had funerals but we had a grave side non religious ceremony, family only, for one and this summer for the other. I don’t go to visit the graves but I think of my parents often. My wife died last April so most of the time I’m numb sometimes with dis-belief and sometimes with sadness. We had a celebration of life for her that was for all those who could come and whose life she enhanced. Her ashes are on the hearth because I haven’t yet decided what to do.
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