When I began my journey to becoming an atheist 13 years ago… I did a lot of vacillating, going back and forth between religion(Jehovah’s Witnesses) and Atheism. I WANTED to believe(in God)… but what I had discovered online(the sun turning into a red giant one day, billions of year from now) had made me question my beliefs just a little. I WANTED to believe, because doing otherwise would be tantamount to admitting that this life is all there is… no heaven, no resurrection, just this one life. But I was too afraid to ask questions, to question, to critique, to ask questions that could end up with me being disfellowshipped from the religion.
That is too much for a lot of religious people to deal with I think. They would rather believe in improbable nonsense for no good reason than yield to the logical conclusion that there isn’t a Jehovah God up there and religions, like the one directed by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society is just another tool designed to pry the money from people’s wallets for whatever purpose they see fit.
It took me a long time to get over it though… but I think deep down I knew it made sense. It did require me to overcome a lot of fears. Most importantly… my fear of death, my fear of losing everything, especially my family.
That’s why the move to Atheism can be so hard for a lot of people. It’s definitely the logical position for a human being to hold, but the emotional weight of surrendering belief in a magical anthropomorphic genie is just too much for people. It doesn’t mean just leaving behind fictional characters, God(s), but sometimes your family, loved ones, and friends.
What I can say is that becoming an Atheist has made me stronger in many ways. I don’t fear death like I used to. I don’t fear divine retribution for speaking against the evils of religion.
Just one step on the road of life, and so many more to go.