Speaking in tongues

In the church I was raised into, it was calm and everyone sat in their pews and just listened. And in many religions and churches there is no dancing in the aisles, no “speaking in tongues”.

There are thousands of different christian sects, and each has their own interpretation of the bible. Some preach fear of hell, some preach hippy stuff. And some have taken some biblical passages as the way to worship. And for them, according to their interpretation of the bible, dancing and falling down and speaking in tongues is accepting the holy spirit.

I am sure such practitioners are sincere, I also believe some just go through the motions until they are interrupted by a phone call. lol

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Make her proud, respect her wishes and show her how much you love her. The end may come tomorrow, it may not come for twenty years. But you have the opportunity to put a smile on her face and give her comfort.

There is a common phrase I am sure we all know.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Get going.

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Thank you David. Big hug.

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See… there you go ‘thinking.’ That is exactly the reason why you don’t have a fucking clue. You can’t expect god to work through you when your insides are all cluttered up with thoughts.

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All they need is a disco ball / strobe lights / a dj spinning some killer tracks and they’re sorted. O

Yep!

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I have seen people speaking in tounges when I attended church services to make a girlfriend happy, and I have a few thoughts that seem relevant.

I have come to the belief that certain forms of epilepsy play an extremely important role in religion.

There is a (controversial) disorder associated with temporal lobe epilepsy called Geschwind Syndrome, which is associated with feelings of overwhelming religious obsession, and a loss of interest in sex.

People who suffer from temporal lobe epilepsy often start spouting nonsense words, mixing pronounciation, and so forth. Also, certain types of temporal lobe epilepsy are hereditary . . . which is why I believe that certain families and lineages are considered “holy” . . . as in my case, as my family are descended from the Biblical Levites.

Sombody with temporal lobe epilepsy may be obsessively religious, spout nonsense while in the grip of the “holy spirit,” be immune to pain (while siezing), and be a member of a “holy” family.

Epilepsy and autism are closely associated with each other as both may be hereditary, and autistic people are up to ten times more likely to have some form of epilepsy.

An autistic person may be able to do complicated math problems in his or her head, have a photographic memory, and other talents that seem miraculous.

If we take all of these points into consideration, then I’m satisfied that I know where the phenomena of “speaking in tounges” comes from.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2003418/&ved=2ahUKEwjhqZay7af3AhWZQjABHZAwDygQFnoECB4QAQ&usg=AOvVaw0UgWLNlGEzR28lf1t0HYUb

People with Geschwind Syndrome can also have a compulsion to write obsessively, and they can have unpredictable mood swings.

If we take all of these points into consideration, then you can see why I believe that Moses (if he existed) was an autistic man with temporal lobe epilepsy.

Consider:

  1. Posessed by the spirit of the Lord . . . or temporal lobe seizures.
  2. Trouble communicating, which is why God appointed Aaron to be his spokesperson.
  3. Losing his temper when the Isrealites broke the rules and worshipped the wrong God.
  4. His rules in Leviticus about mixing fabrics and threads, as autistic people have sensory issues with the textures of clothing.
  5. His dietary rules about dairy products, as autistic people very often have stomach issues . . . especially with dairy products.
  6. Rigid rules about sexuality.
  7. The burning bush seems relevant, as bright lights and flashes are symptomatic of epilepsy.
  8. In ancient times, epilepsy was considered divine. Hippocrates specifically said: “Men think epilepsy divine. If men called everything divine that they didn’t understand, then there would be no end of divine things.”
  9. Being set afloat in a basket shortly after a birth in poverty seems to qualify as a problem birth . . . and problems during birth can be a risk factor for both autism and epilepsy.
  10. If anyone thinks that it’s a stretch that a man with autism can create a religion, then consider Peter Popoff . . . a religious con artist who has needed nothing more than covert radio transmitters to deceive people into thinking that he represents God . . . so that he can fleece them for money. If Popoff can do this in modern times, then what might a man with autistic abilities be able to do during the Bronze Age?
  11. Men are 4 to 6 times more likely to be autistic than women . . . and men are the ones whom are priests and/or religious leaders . . . although there are many, many other reasons why religious leadership is dominated by men, so autism is a minor component of this particular point.

And so on.

This is why I believe that epilepsy started the tradition of speaking in tounges.

I am thinking of writing an essay for submission on these topics, so any rebuttal, honest criticism, or other feedback would be very much appreciated . . . even if you disagree with me.

I will give credit in my essay if anyone wants to weigh in, and–of course–wants to give me their info . . . if it gets published.

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Haghlfa-pizzahhh poppaloos bazingish blah! Salmononrye pyre nooglemite! Floopa-floppa-floopa! Corrrrrrrn-holiooooo pullahmee wankie-wonk! Liar-liar pantsonaf eyre! Goostoffa glop! NEAT!

…(eyes fluttering openlooking around in confusion)… Uh, hey, uh, what happened? Like, all of a sudden I felt a strange “presence”, and then I suddenly blacked out for a moment. Felt like I was having a weird dream where I was speaking in a strange language. Did anybody hear me say anything?

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I have absolutely validated the fact that it is a message from god to the people of the world. I translated the message into ever single language Google Translate offers. The message is exactly the same across all languages. This validates its universiality. Only a message from the holy spirit could transcend all language barriers on the planet and be translated to the exact same message for everyone.

Albanian: “Haghlfa-pizzahhh poppaloos bazingish blah! Salmononrye pyre nooglemite! Floopa-floppa-floopa! Corrrrrrrn-holiooooo pullahmee wankie-wonk! Liar-liar pantsonaf eyre! Goostoffa glop! NEAT!”

Hindi: “हाघल्फ़ा-पिज्जाह पॉपपालूस बेजिंगिश ब्लाह! सालमोनोन्री चिरे नोगलमाइट! फ्लोपा-फ्लॉपा-फ्लोपा! कोर्र्र्र्र्रन-होलीओउ पुलहमी वंकी-वोंक! झूठा-झूठा पैंटोनाफ आइरे! गूस्टोफा ग्लोप! नीट!”
“haaghalfa-pijjaah popapaaloos bejingish blaah! saalamononree chire nogalamait! phlopa-phlopa-phlopa! korrrrrran-holeeou pulahamee vankee-vonk! jhootha-jhootha paintonaaph aaire! goostopha glop!”

Russian: “I-Haghlfa-pizzahhh poppaloos bazingish blah! Salmononrye pyre nooglemite! Floopa-floppa-floopa! Corrrrrrrrn-holiooooo pullahmee wankie-wonk! Umqambimanga pantsonaf eyre! Goostoffa glop!”

ZULU: “I-Haghlfa-pizzahhh poppaloos bazingish blah! Salmononrye pyre nooglemite! Floopa-floppa-floopa! Corrrrrrrrn-holiooooo pullahmee wankie-wonk! Umqambimanga pantsonaf eyre! Goostoffa glop!”

It’s truely a message from god just waiting for a translation.

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THATS IT! You did it Tin! Your subconscious mind actually did the translation and you don’t even know it.

YOU ARE A GENIOUS!!!

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Instructions to Alexa must be a bitch during glossolalia.

What if one wishes to pull up a Bill Gaither song in the middle of your baptism of the holy spirit? Or John Lennon’s "God’?

Those with certain accents already have enough trouble with it:

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About 14 years ago. I went to a church with a girlfriend who I was trying to get a homerun with, it never happened. I was 21 years old. I sat through the bullshit service with her. I was bored as usual. Then they all started acting stupid. They were all jibber jabbering (speaking in tongues as they like to call it) and saying that was the holy spirit taking hold of them. Normally when someone starts jibber jabbering, I think they’ve regressed to acting like a baby, they’re mental, or they’re a complete dullard. Lets just say that it was so fucking annoying that I was ready to leave and it gave me more reasons why I feel that Christianity is a pile of ever growing bullshit.

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Speaking in tongues is one mind-boggling bitch, that serves as an excellent example of how our minds can be easily tricked & fooled. First time I encountered it I went with a friend to a Church of God (think neo-pentecostal) and he gave me no warning whatsoever. The first 30ish minutes of the service felt like it was a Southern Baptist church, & then the batshittery began. First I hear some woman start babbling incoherently, then spaz out, flopping on the floor like she was being electrocuted. Then more babblings began, mostly women, but I heard a couple of men’s voices too. First time I encountered it I went with a friend to a Church of God (think neo-pentecostal) and he gave me no warning whatsoever. The first 30ish minutes of the service felt like it was a Southern Baptist church, & then the batshittery began. First I hear some woman start babbling incoherently, then spaz out, flopping on the floor like she was being electrocuted. Then more babblings began, mostly women, but I heard a couple of men’s voices too.
I’m turning to my friend asking "what the hell is fuckin going on here, Nate!?!?! He’s got his arms up, head down, eyes closed, & mumbling at just over a whisper. Then some 70ish old lady startles the fuck out of me coming up babbling from behind & placing her hands on the back of my head. This is when I finally bailed outta there & walked home.
One thing I realized during my deconstruction journey is that people don’t go to church seeking a relationship with god, they’ve just been indoctrinated to think that’s what they’re looking for. What they’re actually looking for is relationships with other people, a sense of belonging & community. Religious people would have you believe that they have a monopoly on community, but they don’t. Community came before the concepts of church. I had this epiphany for myself, and realized it’s true for everyone that’s religious. They’ve just been programmed to think otherwise. That’s jumping ahead towards the end of my deconversion though, back to the tongues…
This time period in my life was pretty shitty for several reasons for several years, & had been mostly out of church for some time. My buddy Nate managed to convince me to give his church another try, saying god was what turned his life around. I was still weirded the fuck out my the batshitcraycray, but fuck, it seemed to work for Nate. 5-6 months down the road, my shitty life shat on me again in the form of my adoptive mother’s death. My relations with her were always troubled, and I had a bit of a mental break. The Sunday after her death, I went from my usual spot in the back down to the front, kneeled down, & started sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn’t long before I had a small mob damn near dogpiling me with their prayer hands & mumbling. At some point, rather quicky it seemed, my sobs & tears morphed into incoherent mumblings sounding much like those around me. That was when I backslid. Not the backsliding believers talk of, but I backslid into believing god & jeezus & holy ghosty were real after all. You see, I had doubts & questions about religion at an early age. Those D’s & Q’s always recieved B.S. nonsensical “answers” such as “god works in mysterious ways” or “who are we to question the lord (or pastor)”. I would then generally get told to go out and play, and being a child, that was enough to distract me from further questioning for some time. After high school, I was in & out of churches a bit, mostly out. Anyway, the shittyness of my life, and that mental break, caused me to sincerely seek god again, thinking he was real after all. There for some time after that, things did seem to improve a little, but I eventually realized it wasn’t god’s doing, it was help and support from fellow church members, and my own resilience. All in all, my Church of God experience just increased the time it took me to deconstruct & shed the chains of religious lies. My D’s & Q’s came back ever stronger and more numerous, and they STILL received B.S. nonsensical crap answers again. So, I couldn’t seem to get real, honest answers, let alone facts from leaders, so started looking for answers myself. I started by delving deeper into the bible, cross-referencing scriptures & such. The more I dug, the more contradictions & B.S. I found. Then I started researching other religions, learning how they came into being, how the newer religions were built upon older ones, adapting their customs into their own religious storyline, all in order to pacify and control those they were converting. Prime example… I’ll let Penn Jillette say it for me…
PennJulietteEaster

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Got you at your most vulnerable point. Either indoctrinated since birth or convert when down.

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And pray to Joe Pesci - he gets shit done!

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They call it “speaking in tongues” but in fact they aren’t words from another language - they aren’t words at all. The reflects the patterns of speech of the speaker’s native language, but contains no meaning. The resemblance to human language is merely on the surface - glossolalia is only a facade of language. The syllable string doesn’t form words. It is a meaningless but phonologically structured human utterance, which the speaker may believe to be a language but it bears no systematic resemblance to any natural language, living or dead.

Celsus: “Having brandished these threats they then go on to add incomprehensible, incoherent, and utterly obscure utterances, the meaning of which no intelligent person could discover: for they are meaningless and nonsensical, and give a chance for any fool or sorcerer to take the words in whatever sense he likes”

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Correct. It’s Jibber Jabber. Any religious idiot who does it has regressed to the behavior of that of a one year old child trying to talk.

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Its the height of insulting someone’s intelligence to suggest it has any plausibility. Every religion wants to differentiate themselves in some way but to deliberately hallucinate is desperate.

Those happy clapping religions always encourage some ratbag side show to draw attention. They are nut cases.

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“Pray to Joe Pesci”… LoF’nL, I like that, ha haaaa. Here’s a GIF to go with it for ya…
PrayToPesci

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