Return of the rat: on the flip side of psychosis

Hello Atheist Republic:

I should begin my year long “hiatus” with an apology.

I have been in the grips of a psychotic battle which prompted my ongoing assertion on this forum that God exists and/or anyone who hears a voice of any kind in their head is unaware of a supernatural being in their thoughts.

That was a artifact of mental illness and I apologize for the meandering topics and threads which I have started or derailed in the past.

I would like to say that I have recently dealt with some early adolescent issues dealing with bodily dismorphia and have serendipitously managed to distance my self from my auditory hallucinations.

As the famous saying goes, “If you talk to God, you’re not necessarily crazy. If He talks to you, then you should see a doctor. There are pills for that.”

In a sense, I have returned to my adolescent/young adulthood days where I felt comfortable claiming ownership of my thoughts - did not feel as if there was something external to me inserting thoughts into my mind.

It is funny, but when you have finally silenced the voices it is almost as if they were never there. It is very easy to forget how tenacious and invasive they were during a time.

On the same note, I do not have an answer for what they were at the time. I can say my presence here will be much less contentious than before and I look forward to being on this forum purely because of the quality of intellect one finds among groups of atheists.

Speaking of intellectual endeavours. A long time ago I posted about a formula for the nth prime involving “e” to a certain power. I have concluded that initial endeavour successfully. As it turns out, my spark of insight was not for an exact formula determining the nth prime but rather an approximation.

The famous nth prime approximation is, quite simply:

p ~ n ln(n)


sigma(p) ~ 1/2 n^2 log (n)

For the geometric series summation of consecutive prime numbers.

I have approximated both in quite a few ways. For anyone interested, I can send you a link to my written work.

I would appreciate any feedback. I know there are certain holes in my approximations. But I am also proud of the work I have done.

To anyone I have offended here in the past (Sheldon; David) please accept my apologies.

The voices have fucked off and I have also turned forty years old. That “prime” number of years in life where you finally learn not to give a shit about what other people have to say whilst maintaining a certain level of sociability.

Namaste :pray:

RATTYYYYYY!!! :two_hearts::revolving_hearts::sparkling_heart::two_hearts::heartbeat::revolving_hearts:

How the hell are ya, you ol’ snaggle-toothed rodent? Damn good to have you back! Shit, dude, you just made my night! :grinning::grinning: Psychosis halitosis! Who gives a shit? Missed your ugly mug. How’s the DarkOverlord lately?

Welcome back Ratty.

It seems that sobriety suits you!

Hey Tin Man! Bless your heart of Gold. The Evil One and the OverLord haven’t been making their presence known lately. It’s nice to feel a semblance of sanity again in what must be 20 years.

How have you been?

I’m a new man. Followed the 6 steps of schizophrenics anonymous. Step 1 - admit that you have a problem Step 2 - get your voices to admit that they have a problem. Step 3 - take kava root. Step 4 - resolve childhood issues Step 5 - divorce your voices. Step 6 - think with your OWN voice.

Welcome back, glad to hear you’re doing well.

Welcome back ratty :rat:

Noticed you just neutered everything you wrote prior to this quote by saying “I do not have an answer for what they were at the time…”

Yes you do. Your brain :brain:.

Anyhoo. Hopefully your interactions here will be as you’ve stated “less contentious”.

Edited to add: stick with the steps you’ve outlined and don’t give in to brain excuses.

@rat_spit Welcome back. Sincerely.

I was never offended, and it pained me to impose sanctions on you. I hope that in any small way your ban assisted you in healing. Sometimes getting caught up in chat can create a feedback loop where destructive tendencies can become more augmented.

No shit, I missed you.

I was going to ask you how the weather in Vancouver is, but I checked, and it’s typical BC weather for this time of year. Rain. Funny thing though, you got my mind thinking about BC, and I yearn for that lovely place.

Doing great on this end. Hanging in there like a booger in a baby’s nostril. Speaking of babies, the last few months have been an incredible learning experience while helping care for my grandson. Having never had kids of my own, I got tossed into grandfatherhood head first about twenty months ago when my stepdaughter had her first child. Been one helluva ride ever since.

So, you finally put The EvilOne and OverLord in their rightful place, huh? Good. As fun as they may have been, they were starting to become a couple of overbearing bullies. Glad to see you stood up to them and let them know who’s the boss. Again, great having you back, Bro. Cog’s been bitching the whole time about not having anybody to gnaw the lice, fleas, and ticks from the middle of his back.

You are a Rat Shit, how can you deal with Dismorphia. That would be like me worrying about having too muich hair on my right nipple, plucking too many out, and then worrying about the left nipple.

WTF… Ratty “I am your auditory hallucination.” No one else can read this post. I am not really here. I am a hallucination. The monkey on your back… in a manner of speaking.

So, all that aside… Do you have anythig interesting to talk about on an ATHEIST site?

If you talk to God? Silly Ratty. Everything is contingent on what you call God and what qualifies as communication. As you listen to your own internal voices and pretend they are coming from elsewhere, they can be your God. Why not! Or I can be your god. Or Sheldon could be your God. Or Rat Spit could by your God… Not you. The real Rat Spit. Not the one you pretend to be. You know what I mean…

You own your own thoughts? Ha ha ha ha ha ha … How fucking confusing must that be? What would be confusing would be trying to pretend they were yours and then wondering where the fuck they kept going to and why the fuck all these new ones kept taking their places. No wonder your nuts. Always trying to control shit over which you have no control.

If you silence the voices, who is there to notice? Ha ha ha ha ha ha…

Intellect? I can play the kazoo with my ass. I have been learning “Yankee Doodle.” Wanna. If I didn’t have that rolling pin stuck up there, I bet I could do it.

HEY SHELDON! I don’t have that many toes./

Well, it’s about fucking time!

AWWWW Fuck Ratty. You only need two steps.

  1. Stick your fingers up your nose.
  2. Yell, “LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA , I CAN’T HEAR YOU” as loud as you can.

Absolute cure!

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See, Ratty? I told you Cog would be happy to see you. Now, get to gnawing on his damn back already. That one tick on there is the size of a golf ball already, and it’s really grossing everybody out.

Rat-Spit, do you still believe in a supernatural god? If so, why? Are there any other people who believe in the same god as you? Can you offer any evidence besides the voices in your head?

I am attempting to cut through the noise and get to the core of this issue.

Sorry for the late reply. I don’t have as much time these days to respond to everyone.

Do I believe in a supernatural God and why?

Well. I’ve recently had a good amount of relief from the voices. I’ve returned to a pre-schizophrenic state of mind where I’m conscious of my thoughts and have no doubt that my thoughts are my own. Ie. that I generate them.

God? Simply put: I don’t have an answer for what the underlying mechanism of my voices is or was. Now that my thoughts are mostly silent, I’ve returned to my days where the existence of God or anything supernatural was irrelevant to me.

I don’t want to go back to the tenacious voices and I don’t really have a need for them.

In a sense I don’t believe in a supernatural Creator. But also, I don’t have a good “scientific” explanation for the nature of the voices I used to hear.

Hey Cog. The thing about hurling excrement at other people is you get it on your hands too. :wink:

It is a great climate. Nice, very breathable air. We suffered extreme heat domes last summer and unprecedented flooding in the fall. The winter has been mild. I’m looking forward to spring.

My wife and I live just south of the Canadian border in N.W. Wash state. That “heat dome” that we had last year was insane, it was 94 degrees in our dining room at midnight on that Sunday night.
Wish I could say the same for our winter so far, we had snow and ice and blizzards on x-mas day here, I’ve never seen weather like that in my entire life. We’ve had snow at least 2 more times this year, very unusual for us.
I agree, I can’t wait for Spring to get here.

This winter we had about a 3 week stretch of -40c! Seriously. My heating bill was through the roof.

First time I’ve experienced a “cold snap” that lasted that long.

You sweet lovely child … You have never generated a thought in your entire life. You cant tell me what you will be thinking about in the very next nanosecond. I control your fucking thoughts. "Don’t think about Pink Elephants! HA! You did not know you would be thinking about pink elephants, did you? I knew you were going to think about them the moment I began writing this letter. You will be thinking about them every fucking time you think you can control your fucking thoughts. As soon as you think, “I can control my thoughts,” a BANANA pink elephant is going to come dancing across your brain. Where in the BANANA do you get these stupid ideas? Who is this “I” you speak of that generates “thoughts.” BANANA! You are one confused little puppy.

Sure you do! You use it all the time when you log in here. Your “SCHIZOPHRENIC”

What shall it matter when;

  1. the smell of my own poo is not offensive to me.
  2. You should see my banana tree. Healthiest tree in the forest.
  3. Poo washes free from hands with soap and water…
  4. It’s a shame that it sticks to a mind, like yours, forever.

It’s like you can continue to pick though shit looking for corn :corn: OR you can take a pile of corn and pick out the shit (or consume the small amount - your body can handle it).

Let’s try again, can I get a straight answer?