Paranormal Activity

You need to let go and surrender to Jesus!

He’s only a virgin sacrifice away, Sheldon. Anyone can join his army. Even lone soldiers commuting evils. For every evil you commit, Satan lets a fart go.

That’s what I said. What’s the difference. You’re splitting hairs.

Uh. Sorry. Only GRAVITY can bend light. See: Einstein’s general theory of relativity. GAWD!

Potatoes are far more likely to turn into French fries.

Statistics aren’t objective. They’re probabilistic. Which makes them highly flexible and open to interpretation - not to mention, they’re constantly fluctuating.

Isn’t that strange? I’m finding I’m a lot less PEEVED by your comments. I think I see your true colours, Shelly.

Talking behind my back? Well. Well. I have a consultant named “Jeremy” who almost won a noble prize. And he smiled and said, “some people will never see the light. And that’s a Damn shame.”

So, I jerked him off in the alley way for ten bucks. Needed a hit.