Welcome y89! I hope you enjoy your time here.
Your descriptions of your conditions and life in Pakistan are disturbing, but not entirely unknown to many of us who have examined the many abhorrent characteristics of not only Islam, but of organized religions in general.
Now that you have become aware of the absurdities of the dominant religion of your country, it indeed will not be a comfortable situation for you to *safely * remain there.
Above all, it is imperative that you recognize the eminent danger that you expose yourself to by any public declaration(s) of your non-belief.
Given the ubiquitousness (prominence) of such a vengeful practice of religion there, leaving may indeed be your best option.
It is obvious how upsetting and undesirable it is to have to leave one’s home. The truth is that your life is far more important than the locale you choose to occupy for the limited time we have to find contentment and happiness.
I wish you well and I hope you are able to contrive the means with which to “escape” .
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