In a video clip of his sermon posted on TikTok, Funderburke berates his church members for not “honoring” him with a Movado watch.
“This is how I know you’re still poor, broke, busted and disgusted, because of how you been honoring me. I’m not worth your McDonald’s money? I’m not worth your Red Lobster money? I ain’t worth your St. John Knits — y’all can’t afford nohow. I ain’t worth y’all Louis Vuitton? I ain’t worth your Prada? I’m not worth your Gucci?” he said in the nearly minutelong clip.
At one point, Funderburke tells the congregation that a Movado watch can be bought at Sam’s Club.
“And y’all know I asked for one last year. Here it is all the way in August and I still ain’t got it,” he said. “Y’all ain’t said nothing. Let me kick down the door and talk to my cheap sons and daughters.”
This is why the US government needs to start taxing the churches a percentage off the tithes. He’s living off of that money. It’s not going towards a good cause. He’s wearing designer clothes and expensive jewelry. Is he living out of a mansion too like Joel Osteen?
Can’t really blame the greedy bastard pastor. He’s just a self-serving materialistic narcissist with no integrity or conscious taking advantage of a system that openly allows such behavior. But you can DEFINITELY blame the hundreds of brainwashed, braindead, gullible idiots who keep handing over their money to the leach.
Yeah, and WTF, It was only a damn watch. A couple of welfare checks would have covered the cost. It’s just sad. Well, you know what they say. If you are going to start a successful business; 'Location, Location, Location." If your going to open a KFC, you don’t open it among the Sentinelese.
Hey, look, I’m just trying not to be jealous of that slimy weasel. Hell, if it weren’t for my damn conscious, my integrity, my sense of empathy, and my personal code of conduct, I could have been a freakin’ millionaire with a private jet years ago. Give me a podium and I can preach with the best of 'em. And I would make my services FUN! Picture this…
A giant slip-n-slide stretched out down the center aisle from the doorway to the altar. Toward the end of services right before altar call, everybody who wants to come up and pray at the altar changes into their swim suits. (And, YES, two-piece string bikinis are acceptable attire.) Then, during altar call, I announce, “All you brothers and sisters who wish to come forward to pray, take a running start and SLIDE HOME FOR THE LORD! Hallelujah!” (Oh, and did I mention the slip-n-slide would be covered with a different flavored jello each Sunday?) Just imagine all the money I cou-… I mean, just imagine all the poor lost souls I could save with that divine idea imparted to me by the Holy Spirit.
Ooowee! I caught myself drooling a bit while reading that captivating description…For the money, er uh, rather the comfort and convenience of the congregation, you could also position collection plates along side the slip n’ slide, and locate the baptismal chamber at the end of the slide, so as to ease the transition to salvation… Ahhh the soul-saving makes me shiver in excited anticipation…You are a good and decent contraption after all…
Well, by golly! Why didn’t I think of THAT? Brilliant ideas! Hey, how would you like a senior position on my Staff Of Salvation (S.O.S.)? Just say the word, and I’ll make you my Elder Deacon in God’s Employ. That’s right. You heard me. You could be my E.D.G.E., and together we could make millio-… uh, together we could save millions of souls.
Sniff sniff…wiping a tear…Oh Brother Tin! I am so moved to think I would be honored with the title of E.D.G.E., since that is where I reside…
It would be my distinct honor to assist with the collection pla…or rather the spear-ritual conn-version of the poor lost souls. Oh to be a member of S.O.S.!! Finally, my calling has been revealed! Ahh I can hear you now…(faint voice in the distance…Reach in them jeans and give me them greens!!..fading exhortations…)
Everyone is being way too hard on this guy. Other pastors have mansions, cars, and even jets. All he wanted was a damn watch. Someone in the congregation could have pawned a wedding ring or sacrificed buying their kid a new Nintendo for Christmas. FUCK! That’s why you trust in God and not your fucking congregation.