No you don’t, trust me I did shut mine off. I have never been medicated, but was taking Xanax and klonopin while drinking and partying my ass off. I lost my emotions, and realized the highs aren’t as good without the lows. You peak and plateau, then you try anything to feel another level of high.
I don’t recommend figuring that out the hard way like I did. I some how never developed an addiction to any of it and walked away. I don’t know how I quit cold turkey and I don’t question it, I just have drive and focus.
You need to not be so hard on yourself, it’s not helpful. Feel your anger, and use it in a beneficial manner. I took my anger off religion and focused using it for me. I started blacksmithing, a hobby that I could do that was physical. Swing a hammer a thousand times, your anger goes into that piece. The hammer is much like me, I can be a tool of destruction or a tool for construction. Then the question was how do I wield this tool properly. I decided I need to be an example of the most like-able atheist. You will change more minds if you give people something to mirror or follow. If I act like a hate filled monster, I’m giving them what they want.
I’m dealing with my shit as well as I can at the moment, but I am getting tired of having to take pills several times a day. I’m currently taking 9 prescription drugs throughout the day, plus a few supplements to try and feel “normal”.
I’m saying this because I’ve either forgotten or intentionally not taken my depression meds at night for various reasons, and when I’ve done that, it’s not good. I feel off-balance and like I’m having a panic attack the next morning. It’s the only time something like that has happened, unless I’m having a really bad day pain wise.
Now I always take my meds everyday, but sometimes I just want to say “fuck it” and not do it. The first time this happened, I had to get out of the house, so I got in my truck and just started driving around town while thinking about killing myself. I ended up in the 7-11 parking lot here in Anacortes and I called my youngest sister. She takes depression medication too, so we talked for over an hour before she convinced me to go home, and take my pills.
My wife made me promise to always take my pills after this happened, but there have been a couple of times when I skipped them because my stomach was trashed and didn’t want anything in it. When that happens, I take them as soon as I wake up the next day.
I hate being dependent on pills just to function, and wish I could be “normal”, but I know that’ll never happen.
Also, thank you for all the responses, I appreciate them, even Cog’s.
LOL ---- It’s like reading one of myu own posts. Ratty ratty ratty, just relax and stuff that shit down. Keep stuffing. Stuff, stuff, stuff… that why we call all that shit stuff. Stuff it until you’re full up to your ears. Just stay away from sharp objects and you probably should not be playing with guns.
What would you know about repressed emotions? I just handed everyone here the playbook on unravelling deep seated emotions. I use that same play book. Good natured humour and not giving a single fuck about what’s happening around you is the gist of an open heart.
Ditch the fucking science. Read some goddamn poetry and open your heart. That’s what I’m saying. That’s the fucking solution. Do it however you want, but I can assure you that besides my above post you won’t find a more methodical and complete way to do just that.
Fuck pain. Fuck physical and mental pain. Death is nothing. If you’ve lived a good life what is there to fear about death. Fuck pain. If you have pain, you have options. Endogenous pain killers, for example. Don’t know how to release them. Uhh … just told you. Sciatic nerve starts the process. Follow the additional steps for anti-pussy complaining panty-waste fucktard little girl crying attitudes. Spiritual ascension to a state of neither pain nor pleasure? No fucking idea what I’m talking about? Doesn’t surprise me. No worries. Already told you. Nervous impulses at the base of the breathing diaphragm starts the process.
But hey, WTF? What do I know about pain. If you knew how much mental pain I’ve been dragged through you’d piss and shyte your pants at the same time. Laughing.
BTD: This is exactly what every first-year student does. You forgot, right leg crossed over left and a clipboard in your lap. (Beginning Therapist Disease - The true sign of someone just out of school who does not have a fucking clue what they are doing.)
Therapists hide behind pencils, clipboards, and crossed legs. 90% of the mems you see will have a therapist holding a clipboard and a pencil or pen. This is exactly how NOT to get close to a client and make them feel comfortable.
Ratty Ratty Ratty, do you ever think before you write? Seriously?
Who do you think might not have a stick up their ass and a mountain of personal issues they have not yet dealt with?
NO! You are going to have your emotions. They are like the weather. Some days are cloudy, some days are sunny, once in a while it snows. That is the life you live. How you respond to the weather is everything.
The weather comes from you. It is your own thinking that creates the weather. Sometimes the emotions we create are rational and justified; even anger. If I saw you slap my kid, I might fly into a rage. (What I do next determins the kind of person I am.) Regardless of what I do, the rage, indignation, willingness to beat the fucking shit out of you, are all real. I am not my emotions. Like clouds, they flow through me. I am my actions. Behaviors can never be taken back. You are what you do.
I absolutely love the saying; ‘Wherever you go, there you are.’ It’s a deepity. It’s so fucking obvious. But to me, it pulls me out of my head and into the real world of now. I am here now. I put myself here now. I can act now. I am not a slave to emotion.
This comes from my days working in the emergency room and with an ambulance service. You never run at the scene of an accident. You may hurry but breath and stay relaxed. Take in everything around you. The people screaming may not be the ones that need immediate assistance. Who can help you? What is most important? Focus on your work but be aware of everything that is going on. In the middle of termoil while everyone is screaming, I have always been the person who relaxes. Probably because I grew up in a house of termoil. I would have been a neurotic mess had I paid attention to all the shit that went on around me.
Emotions count, but what you do with your emotions is everything.
Ah! Rereading that , Back to my ‘Deepity’ If you are reacting to shit, you are living in the past. The past is over. There is no changing what has already been done. You have no power and no control to undo what has been done. You may force someone to make restitution but that does not change the fact of what happened. Not even God’s forgivness changes an event. If I cut off your left hand, all the forgiveness in the world will not grow it back. And if I am the one who did the cutting, all the forgetfulness in the world does not change the fact that there is a part of me that has no problem removing someonme’s hand. Control and power do not happen when you ‘React.’ They happen when you ‘Respond.’
Try? Ha ha ha ha ha ha … If you are ‘trying to change,’ you are not motivated. I like the ole Twilight Zone episode where the guy walks into the ‘Stop Smoking Clinic.’ The guy inquires, “What’s your success rate.” “100%,’ the man confidently replies. “Sign me up.” Once the paperwork is done the guy inquires, when “do we start?” “We already have.” says the man. You smoke another cigarett and we are going to chop off your hand. Do it aftrer that and we will kill your wife, then your kids, and if you still can’t figured it out, we will kill you. 100% gaurenteed.” People who are motivated, don’t try.
This is what I am trying to say. You can have emotions over what has happened. Realizing that the moment that caused it is over and gone, and those emotions have had their time and place also. Not dragging it out and dwelling in specific emotions. I can mentally check myself and try to move myself along mentally.
Hmm … eyes rolling into back of head, deep in thought okay. Okay. I think I’m starting to get it. full erection, puts clipboard down, places pencil on the desk, erection subsides, blood returns to brain
Cognostic … let’s get a base line, hmm? On a scale of 1 to 10; 1 being the worst you’ve ever felt; 10 being the best you’ve ever felt - how would you rate your mood this morning?
chin immediately returns to resting on palm of right hand, left hand now in left pocket
That’s an unquantifiable measurement with zero bearing on others. Your machismo isn’t impressive, pain is subjective. I eat Carolina reaper peppers, I have an uncanny ability to compartmentalize physical pain and prolonged agony. That doesn’t mean others can attain my level through some form of training or listening to my banter of how mentally tough I am. You tout your “methods” as universal, which is quite delusional that you think you can manipulate others in such a routine fashion.
Also I completely disagree with your pushing of mind altering substance. I don’t recommend my path of hallucinogens and experimenting with mind altering chemicals, it’s not a cut and dry affect. It’s a spectrum of outcomes not a predictable left or right movement.
I almost went mental after smoking synthetic weed. Take your stupid self obsessed idiotic ideas elsewhere. Your experience isn’t a yardstick for others to measure off of and follow. I recognize the danger I put myself in, you clearly do not. I guess fuck whoever hurts themselves for listening to your stupidity. Fuckin hell, I see why Cog detests your brand of idiotic.
Why would you assume I have a mood? You just go around assuming everyone is like you. What did you read it in a book someplace and decided to believe it. Are you under the impresseion that moods have shit to do with anything? So you wake up in the morning your ‘mood is shit.’ you still turn off the alarm clock and go to work. When do you let a mood dictate anying? What a stupid fucking question. Go back to drawing on your clipboard.
Well you know, my pain is bigger than your pain. My beak is longer than your nose. My sarcasm is far more destructive than you could ever imagine. If you had to deal with my level of cynicism you would have blown your brains out a long time ago…I hope you are getting the theme here…